mother in law

The Yoga journey is still on

If you have been reading this blog, it has been going all over the place.. to July 2024, then finally to other things.. There are a few things that don’t get mentioned which are reasons for all the anachronistic posts.

Last summer San and me knew there was a 9 day anniversary trip. Still we had signed up for a 60 day challenge. T-shirts make you do things I guess! For me it was a no brainer. The earlier two week trip in February had made me skip signing up for the Winter 2024 challenge. I haven’t missed a winter challenge in years! So the family knew I will sign up for the summer challenge. Given a 10 day miss for travel, we started doing doubles every day in the hot July summer. The first 22 days saw us do 44 classes.. mostly back to back. San had never done doubles before, so I was really impressed and proud of her effort. Then we went on the trip and came back to finish the challenge ahead of time. It was good we finished it ahead.

Just two days before the challenge end date, my mother called me to show my dad in Apollo ICU in Chennai. The prognosis was that he would’t make it by the time I left here and reached him. It was a timely call as I was booked for a business trip first thing the next morning. Cancelled that trip and flew to India.

By some miracle, my dad went from ICU to general ward and back home in the week I spent there. The doctor’s told me that at this point, his condition is expected to be the same for weeks or months. He was home though. My mom was relieved that he was home. Even though the room became a hospital room, he had pulled through. So with happy tears I flew back. Right after coming back we did attend the 60 day challenge party. It was a great way for me to take my mind off everything. Went right back to the regular yoga routine. I was even more determined and sure that if I did this yoga regularly, there might be a quick and painless death instead of a prolonged debilitating disease. No one knows what is going to happen or when, but one can always do some preventive maintenance.

There was no blog posts .. not just about yoga.. There was simply no mood to write anything for the rest of September and most of October till my dad stabilzed to a new routine. Then we had a planned trip to the grand canyon to hike the south rim and that brought me back to Facebook , blogging and a social routine.

Went back searching for the videos of my speech from that challenge but could only find these two pics.. (one done before my dad ended up in hospital) and another from the challenge party. That was my 15th successful challenge out of 17 attempts.

Then it was January again before we knew it. This time my MIL had informed me that she will visit us from Jan to March just to join me for the 60 day challenge. She wanted to do another challenge (having done it once). The two of us had signed up and I signed up San, given she joins me most days. Initially she was hesitant and did not want to do it. She did not even do the stickers to keep track (I was keeping track for her). When there were only 10 days left and she had to do just a few doubles, she got enticed by Michele to complete. The T-shirts were back! They had the right size too apparently! All three of us finished this challenge.

My goal for this challenge was to do a 1000 classes in trying 60 day challenges. Had already done 900 in the 15 good attempts and in the two failed attempts there was another 93. So by class 7, the goal was done. Still the challenge teaches us something about how to carry on when your brain goes on strike and how to overcome adversity.

We did go to the challenge party this time and got to share the experience. You can see the video highlights reel..

One more T-shirt got added to replace the worn out ones..

After three weeks of not being able to go do Yoga much because of nosebleeds, finally made it last two days. Plan to get back to going everyday. Yoga makes me happy and peaceful. It is a reflective time and a meditative time to let go of things that don’t serve me right. It is a great way to reset.

That said, every day, learn something new. Even this morning in class Michelle tells me “Sundar, nothing should happen with the standing leg. just move the hands and the other leg!”. This was while doing a balancing stick pose where I was instinctively rolling forward on my ankle to compensate for the imbalance. Not doing that made all the difference in the second set. Have to remember that in tomorrows class. As we form good habits, bad habits have a way of creeping up as well. Constant attention to detail with a watchful set of teachers helps me fix them over and over again. To all my teachers at BYSJ, especially Michele, Matt and Sarah, who by now know my every move and even pre-emptively correct me , a heartfelt and sincere thank you!

Thank god for teachers!

The best part of this challenge was doing it with my wife and MIL. Hopefully someday, the kids will do a 60 day challenge. One can always hope.. and screw Parkinson’s disease.. Hope they find a cure for this shit so in case I do end up with it, there is some relief. Even if I cannot avoid the physical eventuality, the Yoga practice will definitely help me handle anything mentally down the road. That much I am sure of!

A very different 60 day challenge

Most of you who know me, have seen this once a year post around the end of March about the 60 day yoga challenge. 

BYSJ organizes two of these challenges a year. The winter challenge where you sign up on any day between Jan 1st to 14th and do 60 classes in 60 days (ideally without missing a day, and if you do miss because of unavoidable reasons, do two classes on another day to make up for it). A similar challenge in Summer with same rules. 

This is my 13th year of doing Yoga and this was my 13th 60 day challenge. My family doesn't try to stop me from doing this challenge anymore. They know I somehow manage to finish it and I am usually happy doing the challenge.

Given my MIL has been a big part of my yoga journey, it was always sad to hear her say "want to try and finish this challenge at least once in this lifetime!". She is usually here only after Pongal which is Jan 14th and leaves for Seattle after two three weeks. I don't sign up in summer because of travel and other commitments.

This year, she came early just for the challenge. Had promised her that someone (me, San or the little one who is not so little anymore) will drive her to class for those 60 days if both me and San decide to skip yoga. Given that assurance, she signed up.

For the most part all three of us would go to class. The folks at the studio were very happy to see a car load of folks come to class. Then we went to Alaska on a whim to take care of my wife's bucket list item. One bucket was larger than the other bucket.. or whatever.. fortunately MIL managed to do a couple of Livestream classes when we were gone. Funny thing is that when we got back and I had to do three doubles over the weekends to make up, she joined me! It was not easy for her, but she did. 

While she makes claims that it is not the same thing doing something at 50 vs 70, my take is that age has nothing to do with it. You do what you can and I think she actually gets more out of the yoga than I do and probably does a better job in most classes given the cards she has been dealt. 

Usually it is just a logistics challenge for me but as fate would have it, banged my knee twice on the same day. The last 10 days of the challenge were really tough with the injured knee. Still went ahead and did everything I posisbly could in the hot room every day.

Finished the challenge on March 1st and my MIL also finished it last week!  San did 54 classes in the 60 days but she refused to do any doubles on a matter of principle. She has done one challenge before and apparently that is enough for her. She was happy to cheer the two of us to finish. How she can let it go is where we see that she is a better yogi than me. 

The knee is not swelling anymore but I cannot do tree pose standing on my left leg and have difficulty doing suptavajrasana and the third part of awkward pose. These involve bending the knee inwards towards the other knee or folding it and rotating it out. Given it is better, my teachers still recomended I get an x-ray or get it checked out. So have an Ortho appointment this week. For almost all things that ail me mentally or physically, have used the yoga to recover over the last 12+ years.  Going to see what the diagonsis is. Just because you do yoga, doesn't mean you should bang your knee against car license plate holders and expect to come out okay!

We did celebrate after the challenge with a dinner at Chaat house! Got to share a few words at the Challenge party in hopes that if we can do it, others who are thinking of giving this a try, will actually go for it.

The one thing folks tell me all the time is this.. "Sundar, you do the same yoga everyday.. day after day, year after year.. you do this 60 day challenge every year.. and say you learn something new.. you must be really inattentive or dumb to learn something new in what you do all the time!" 

While it is true that the class is the same day after day, my body and mind are not. As different parts of my body get stronger or weaker, more or less rigid or flexible over time, and my mind gets better at listening to the instruction and internalizing it instead of being in zombie mode, there is new learning! All the time!

Going regularly back to back for long periods of time gives you a heightened sense of awareness of changes happening in your body and we get a chance to remember how we did what we did differently(better)!

My friend Arash summarized it beautifully. He said in the language of Buddists.. which we all learn as kids. Ther is Buddha, Dharma and Sanga. 

Buddham charanam gachchaami, sangam charanam gachchaami! 

Teachers are our gods here! The Dharma is the fact that they stay true to a hard 90 minute yoga practice and the community that is there at BYSJ is truly what makes us keep coming back.

We heard a lot of folks share their amazing journey and stories at the challenge party. You can check those out on the BYSJ website and other social media. A video of what we shared with folks..

As long as there are not major setbacks, will try to keep going to yoga, try 60 day challenge every year and try to keep this body and mind as optimized as possible to deal with everything the outside world throws at me.

Sangeetha says I am still a work in progress and even today she was trying to "knock some sense into me" with little success. For all that, there is progress. Slow but sure progress.

Strongly recommend you try yoga if you are on the fence. They say "do this for 30 days, it will change your body, do it 60 days in a row and it will change your mind". Can attest to it!

Here's to BYSJ for continuing to improve and transform people's lives, year after year, one challenge after another!

A big congrats to all who signed up and gave it their everything (finishing is a different story, signing up is the hard part!) and a special congrats to my MIL for being a great example and role model for yogis out there.

Very proud of her for finishing the challenge and showing up to class on day 61 !!!

The C word

** This post was written two years ago. I forgot to publish it. Kept searching the site for the post as I was so sure it was written... and realized that there was a reason the publish button was not hit at the time** Have done a rewrite of sorts..

Two years ago, when the India trip was coming to a close, my MIL was told by doctors in India that she most likely had Lympohoma. This was literally the day of her flight back. She decided to come here as planned and go through treatment here. The good news was that she had something but it was not lymphoma. The bad news was that she was poked and prodded for a good two weeks with bone marrow tests, repeated scans of every kind etc. and we were in the hospital a lot. 

This photograph was taken two years ago at Kaiser's Oncology ward when MIL and me were waiting (think it was first or second week of August). "They have nice wall colors"  is what I remember thinking while staring at the walls.

I was very busy with a presentation due for the Memory summit and we were taking turns with hospital visits. San does not like needles, and that translated to me going with MIL for all the tests. The night before the bone marrow test, I had gone to bed at 2AM, and the next morning had not shaved. The stress of the previous week (including that engine failure event on Cathay Pacific, a fight to Asia in the middle of a storm, work work and more work pressure)  was showing on my face. Had dark circles around my eyes. The MIL on the other hand was going through a "I am going to live like every day is my last day" phase. She got up, dressed nicely, wore her diamond earings, put on some makeup.. you get the idea.

We are sitting here waiting to be called in. A really nice nurse (think her name was Isabella..  still remember her name after 2 years. she was a really sweet person. I remember thinking "one has to have exceptional people skills to deal with the folks in this waiting room") walks out and goes "Suguna?" and we look at her. She walks to us, grabs me by the hand and goes "let's get this test done with sweetie. It will hurt, but we will try to be as quick as possible". 

My MIL and me were both laughing. She didn't get it first. Don't think she is used to folks smiling and laughing as a response to what she said. Then I told her "I am not the one for the test. She is!" and she said "I would not have guessed!"

After that test and more PET scans, they decided that she had enlarged lymph nodes but we have to go to a "wait and watch" strategy and there was no sign of Cancer in her bone marrow test. 

Then it did not stop there. The scan showed nodules everywhere in her body. So it was zeored down to three things. Tuberculosis, some other disease that affects farm workers in central valley caused by a fungus in the air or some such thing, a thrid unprounceable disease which had no proper detection or cure (I am not making this up).

That brings up the second incident within that same week. So we were sent to the lung infection disease department. As soon as we check in there, the nurse gave a single mask to the MIL. I thought "okay, they are taking a precaution because they don't want to get what she might have". Then I thought "but we are living with her and we are not wearing masks". So we go to the waiting room and the nurse is wearing a mask! 

I was asking the nurse, how come you are wearing a mask and she is wearing one and I am the only one without a mask. She did not even answe me.. mumbled something and said "doc will be in soon". The "doc" was also wearing a mask. I remember telling the MIL how scary it was to be the only maskless person in that office! She was laughing and I clicked this. By then she was happier that the Cancer diagnosis had given way to more complex things which were either curable or she was unlikely to have!

Eventually after two weeks of tests and follow ups, she has been going through a once in six month's scan to check the nodules. Apparently it is like a chess game. If they grow, the docs will attack it. If they attack first, the nodules might retalliate. This thing has become something of a background issue now as the MIL just goes about her routine. 

This taught us a lot of lessons on how anyone anytime is susceptible to cancer. 

My way of overcoming extreme stress was to see a lighter side in things.. Sometimes it is appropriate, other times, timing might not be right and I end up digging out an old unpublished post from two years ago..

We are all grateful that MIL ended up okay after those two weeks! We are also more conscious of one thing.. It is more important to do things you want to do and not procrastinate.. if there is a choice between eating healthy, exercising, praying, watching for your health and living in constant vigil vs. just focussing on things that make you happy... you pick the latter. Why? because no matter how healthy you eat or exercise or pray, the C word can get you. At least if you live happy, you have less regrets!

That was a persective change!