October 10, 2026

all part of life, health, photoblog, portrait, social study, sickness, stay at home

Some profound realizations

October 10, 2026

all part of life, health, photoblog, portrait, social study, sickness, stay at home

This year I have had more hospital check-ins than the last 7 years combined. Maybe age is a factor like some are pointing out. Maybe the SaniMahadasa (Saturn influence) is a factor like some others are saying. Then there is just the activities like hectic travel and hiking gravel paths down mountain slopes which are factors.

No matter what the cause or the interpretive diagnosis from X-rays, MRI’s etc. the bottom line is that I am not yet walking normally at a brisk pace, unable to climb stairs, let alone hike up hills and mountains and not easily sit cross legged on a daily basis.

The physiotherapists are helping. I am doing wood pecker and clam shell poses instead of eagles and locusts.. flight related yoga references have changed to more grounded things.. That irony is not lost on me!

Apparently I have toned muscles, but not enough of them and unless I start doing some weights and get more protein and get muscle gain (after the knee is repaired with ice, heat, ibuprofen, rest, physio for next two weeks) things will not improve. Also noted.. amazing core strength inspite of not having enough muscle. Guess that is thanks to years of yoga. Supposed to use that core strength to help build other muscles. Time will tell. I take the student part very seriously and try to make my teachers proud. Hope my physios at Kaiser will be proud of my effort.

Last week I did get a “talking”. The previous week they had asked me to do 7 sets once of a bunch of exercises. I misheard it and didn’t read the printout fully. Only used the pictures in the printouts to remember the exercise sequence and did 7 sets of 7 reps each.. was doing it every 2 hours from 7AM to 7PM. More physio doesnt mean faster recovery. Might have made it worse. Doing those once a day didn’t seem to be much of exercise, so I was surprised. Turns out things are supposed to be progressing slowly.

“Slow” - a word that doesn’t exist in my dictionary (you can read that like a Gabtun dialogue). Now I have reconciled to this word. Progress is being made. I am able to walk better now without pain for longer times and have no swelling.

The only challenge is to sit on the floor. Did Amavasai tharpanam and sent the usual photo to my mom after doing tharpanam. That is my way of telling her it was done. I did smile without wincing today. Managed to sit on the floor for an hour. Was not easy to do a namaskaram and get up but it was not bad.

Now coming to the profound realization.. We live in a very complex polarized geo political world.

Thanks to sweeping generalizations that if you stand for A in issue 1, you automatically stand for B in issue 2 etc. type logic. I see Desis, Jewish friends, Israelis, White friends, black friends, Brahmin friends, women friends, yoga buddies, everyone caught in these false logic traps. Silence is not acceptance in a digital world where everything you say is being used against you on an immediate basis. That is one realization. Folks who are very vocal are usually the least knowledgeable on what they are vocal about. That is another realization. AI Algos are definitely not being used to create truthful summaries. They are being used more to obfuscate the truth.

Then there was yet another realization. After coming back from India, have been using the Tharpanam book to do offerings to dad and all ancestors on every new moon day and other special days. Wanted to understand the procedure and meaning behind what I was doing. Our Vaadhyaar in India said “indha kaalaththula ellam onlinela irukkunnaa! onnukku rendu article cross refer panni paarungo!” Clearly he was on the side of online education in the. interest of time. So I did do that search in June.

When we finally do the offering of water with the darbai grass which features in all prominent rituals. We also offer sesame seeds with the water (for a person allergic to sesame seeds, I find that also interesting) .

We recite:

Eshaam (those) na (no) maathaa(mother) na(no) pitha(father) na(no) brathaa(brother) na(no) cha bandhavaah (and relatives)

they sarve (them all) thrupthi(fulfilment) mayaanthu(may they satisfy) mayoth(offered by me, poured out by me) srushtaihi kusodhahai (water mixed with a specific grass)

The idea is that I am not just offering it to my dad and all the dearly departed on both sides of the family, but also offering this to anyone who does not have folks who can do this offering for them. This is the equivalent of a hospital not turning back anyone because they don’t have insurance. We all take care of each other, as not everyone has someone to fall back on.

This is the ultimate realization of “all for one and one for all”, or “no one left behind”, even when offering rites to satisfy dead souls. “Vedic rituals had socialism built into it” It is one interpretation by me. This will immediately get a visceral reaction from capitalist friends who might object to their tharpanam going to dead people they still hold a grudge against and might add an exception list. Everything is possible in Kali kaalam.

There was good in this world and there will continue to be. That was the last realization. The only thing my dad kept asking me over and over again on every visit to India was “enakku kaariyam ellam oru koraiyum vekkaama pannuviyonno?” (promise me you will do all the last rites for me without taking any shortcuts). He was a stickler for details and knowing me the way he did, I was offended by him even asking me that. My mom would smile everytime I would say “Ellam pannuven BR. Don’t worry!”. Once we go, we are gone, hopefully to a much better place far far away and our destiny shouldn’t be gated by what our progeny does for us after the fact. It should be decided by what we did when we were alive. However, I do for my father what he wanted and I did promise him with all my heart.

I have no sons and don’t plan on extracting any promise from anyone to do any last rites for me. Hopefully I do enough good while alive that my afterlife is not gated by what someone else has to do on my behalf.

Then again, there are enough people doing this tharpanam for their ancestors and they got me covered, in case my belief system has gaping holes!

After all, what do I know about the afterlife?

Sundar Narayanan

September 20, 2026

all part of life, Bikram Yoga, celebration, health, photoblog, social study, sickness, videoblog

Hardest 60 day challenge to date

Sundar Narayanan

September 20, 2026

all part of life, Bikram Yoga, celebration, health, photoblog, social study, sickness, videoblog

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you would know that I used to do the 60 day challenge every winter and some years, given travel schedules, sign up to do the summer challenge as well at Bikram Yoga San Jose.

The challenge is to do 60 classes in 60 days. If you miss a day, you do a double on another day. That is two classes in one day to make up for it. It is called a challenge as your body and mind tell you to give up after day 40 or so.

This is the post about my 21st attempt at this challenge over the years and my 19th time finishing successfully!

In late June, I went on a biz trip and came home with a kidney infection. Was hospitalized and was allowed to do normal things only on 7th July. Even then I was not fully back to my old self. Had lost 11 lbs during this ordeal and was still hitting the restroom every two hours to pee.

My wife knew that I measured my “being normal” with my being able to do yoga on any given day. If I could do yoga, was good for the next 22 hours. If not, something is off and needs to be fixed. That has been the benchmark for a long time. She signed me up for the 60 day challenge this time. I was planning to skip it. We can sign up any day between 1st and 14th of July and finish 60 days from our start date. Usually don’t sign up if I don’t see a possibility of finishing. However, my name was on the board. So I started going to class with her on the 11th and kept going. The Yoga and the hot room always heal and this time was. no different. Within a week I was better physically and mentally. Then came the hike to Mt. Dana. I missed three days. Managed to do doubles the following weekend to make up for it and all was well.

Then out of nowhere, my right knee started swelling. Had to go to the hospital. Fluid was drained, a steroid shot was given, not much specifics on identifying the root cause. Was asked to go do usual stuff like rest, ice, elevate compress, alternate heat and cold etc.. Based on the detailed tests it was a meniscus tear that did not need surgery. Sat at home for 4 more days with the ice water circulating machine.

Hot yoga room heats you all over, not just the knee. Given I was 3/4th of the way to finishing the challenge, went and did what I could without having any lateral knee movement. I was still going to office, driving (which made it worse), avoid staircases(except for a fire drill at work that made things much worse) and the hot room actually helped me deal with things mentally and physically to keep going.

There is a saying in Tamil “Saaga pozhudhu irundhaalum vega pozhudhu illai!” which translates to “even if you find the time to die, you don’t time to burn in the cremation pyre”. A thing that says you are “that busy”! It felt like that for the last 12 days of the challenge. Fortunately there was the labor day weekend to wrap things up and rest. The challenge was done!

There is a lot to learn about yourself (body and mind) in every challenge. This was no different. You can see the end of the video for what is possible.

At one point San told me to stop the challenge by saying “I asked you to start it. I am asking you to stop it!”. Did not have the heart to tell her that she has just become like my mom. Reminded me of my mom saying “I asked you to go to the US. Now I am asking you to come back!” . This after being married, having two kids and a job and set life here. 50+ days into a challenge you just can’t wind it down and call it quits. Used to be the poster boy for BYSJ, recently the posters changed and the new ones are awesome.! The baton has been passed to some of my Yoga peeps. Folks were making jokes that “maybe it is a sign from above to stop the challenge”. Every tool in the emotional toolkit was tried to make me stop this, but I finished. Have been on a break from yoga for 10 days now and things only got worse now.

Will see if something is actually damaged and follow up on how to heal. San treated me to a “challenge finish lunch” at Bhimas. Usually it is Aaloo paratha at Chaat House right after the challenge party. This time, it was a lunch treat!

San is my biggest supporter and she is always right. It takes me time to realize that sometimes. Eventually I come around. Her theory is that I have something torn or broken and it is not diagnosed yet. So till I get it understood, I should be very careful. That I am taking to heart. This challenge is all her!

Have told her that 20 is a round number. Maybe after the next challenge, I will not sign up every year.

Here are some pictures..

San made it look like I am eating a 2 foot poori.. it is a small poori!

This banner has been replaced by new really good ones which show the community. There used to be a sense of added responsibility when this was there. I would never sit down during triangle pose. Still don’t. Now I give the new poster boys a hard time telling them “they should not skip the poses they are doing on the wall”.

here is the video of the speech

Have said this before and will say it again.

In today’s world keeping your immune system and having the ability to heal yourself after any injury or ailment is important, given the cost and quaiity of medical care. We have to give our doctors also something to work with and that comes from within.

Yoga helps you do that.

Hot yoga is even better. The heat and humidity make it safer to stretch.

Doing yoga regularly is good.

Having a continuous practice where you come day after day is even better for a lot of reasons (you can read all those old 60 day challenge posts over the years in this blog alone).

If you haven’t done a challenge try it. if you did and were not able to finish, sign up for the next one and finish. if you did do the challenge and finish, sign up again to learn something new about yourself!

This challenge is dedicated to San. She is my rock! Also a big thanks to BYSJ, all my teachers and fellow students for keeping this going!

Satyavan-Savitri, Nala-Damayanthi, Sundar-Sangeetha - experiences may vary

If you are not familiar with the stories of Savitri or Damayanthi from the Mahabharata, the short summary is that these are women who went to extraordinary lengths to save their husbands!

Savitri had to go head to head with the god of death, Yama himself, to get her hubby back.

Fast forward to the present day and you have a slightly different version in the Sundar-Sangeetha story. Nope, no debating the god of death, but rather teasing him by dangling the husband like a carrot and going “hi Yama, come see if you can get him! See, I am almost letting you have him!” . Yama tries a few times and cries “sour grapes” or “sour carrots” and walks away.

Where are all these thoughts coming from? They all have to do with our recent visit to the top of Danothri (our nickname for Mt. Dana in Yosemite National park) after our recent trips to Gangothri and Yamunothri.

While Yamunothri was at 10,800 ft and Gangothri was at 11,200 ft, Mt. Dana is at 13,060 ft! We start the hike at 9500 ft! This group hike was planned much much earlier than July. Based on some advice by Sri. Sundararama Deekshidhar (not referring to myself as a joke.. he is my father’s favorite, who does Katha Kalakshebham and is related to Anantharama Deekshidhar) who recited stories last May at my fathers Subha sweekaram (rememberance), there were to be no risky hiking till my dads anniversary ceremonies were complete. We did climb a few mountains in that one year but did not take “risks”. So this one (with its label as a risky hike) was pushed to be post India trip.

Hotels, Driving logistics, food planning, everything was all set well in advance, and the whole group was looking forward to it. Then I ended up in the hospital. My friends were more worried about me making it back to normal and the hike topic was put aside. Did get discharged on a Monday evening and 11 days later we were supposed to be on our way to Yosemite. The rest of the group was suggesting I drop out or at least come for the drive and walk to the till the trail head and maybe go as far as I can go.

That is where the modern Savitri comes in.. Sangeetha decided that the fastest way for her hubby to get back to “normal” was for him to do all the things he is used to doing or supposed to be doing. Five days after discharge, I am signed up to do a 60 day yoga challenge! On day 7, I am hiking PG&E with the group to see if I can have any chance at hike Mt. Dana. Did PG&E without an issue but it was our backyard. There is no challenge as the terrain is so familiar, it is not high altitude and there is a nice trail. It was decided based on my PG&E effort that I will be joining the summit hike for Mt. Dana. They were all trying to be nice and encouraging. All of them wanted me to not miss out and I could tell.

We drove Friday evening to Mono lake area with a few short restroom breaks (all for me!) and checked into our rooms at the Lodge in Lee Vinning. We had a fantastic dinner watching the late sunset. We were also sitting outside to get used to the altitude and oxygen levels.

The next morning we started hiking from the trailhead at 6:30 AM. A group of 9 (We had a friend join our gang of 8.. even though he didn’t know the rest of the group, he fit right in!). A mile in, one of our group members made a wise decision to go back as it was not easy to breathe. We had come up a ~1000 feet at that point. Everyone looked at me, then San gave me a look, and I kept walking.

Three hours later, we were 1000 ft from the top and again some folks in the group had second thoughts and asked if I want to go down. This time I refused, having made it that far. Just paced myself, pushed through it and made it. Was very happy when I walked up to the top. Gave a short thank you speech (you can see it in the video)

Normally I never use nature for piss breaks but given the recent issue, had to stop a few times to water the bushes. One of my friends even said “let’s go.. you will have company. no need to feel embarrassed!”.

Mt. Dana is a hard hike because there is no trail in most parts. It is just gravel and slippery. There is also ice in places which you cannot really see. On the way down I made it fast. Coming down is somehow easier for me as I can balance well. For the hike we had all packed our own food. I had aaloo sandwiches, two Think bars and two Kind bars which turned out to be more than enough. We came back at 3PM exactly to the parking lot. My legs were shaking and walking in a straight line was tough.

Went back to our room and drank some Emergen-C and that helped immediately. Many of us had a sunstroke like effect when we were at the top. Three of us got severe headaches in just 20 minutes. So we decided to come down right away instead of eating at the summit. There was not much room to sit there at the top anyways! Had a much needed 90 minute nap before we decided to have Chai, followed by an early dinner. Dinner was more home cooked food. The rooms had fridges and microwaves. Dinner tasted great! Thayir sadam with mor-milagai can be amazing after you hike to the summit of Mt. Dana!

San was beaming with pride that I had actually listened to her and made it. I was also happy seeing her so happy. Currently we are having debates (not as serious as the Savitri-Yama debates) on this hike being the starting point for my knee swelling 10 days later, which has made me go back to the hospital. Or is it the fact that I did a few doubles in the Yoga room the following weekend to make up for the missed yoga practice during hikes, or was it walking around all day for two days at the music festival and making the knee worse? Given there is so many “assignable causes”, we have decided to look forward rather than look back and focus on getting the knee fixed ASAP! For the record, it is definitely better now after they drained fluid and gave a steroid shot in the knee, followed by four days of icing and rest.

Truth be told, I was happy that entire weekend hiking, eating, joking around, taking pictures with my favorite people. If anything it lifted my spirits up!

There are tons of photos.. so sharing them in galleries.

This first photo is a collage.. it starts off by San showing me everything I am doing wrong in the approach to the final photo, till she is kind of happy with the end result. Never before has this regular sequence been caught on camera so beautifully. The photographer here is not much different from San. Her hubby runs far away whenever she pulls her camera out. This is par for the course in our hikes for the hubbies.

The views of the landscape are just out of th world throughout the hike. We got to see a few birds, marmots, large spiders. There was absolutely no shade anywhere. The gravel was slippery. We did see a bunch of teenagers hike this with their parents and went “wow”!

A few pano shots..