A fond farewell

This blog has not seen a post since May 26th. It has been a 100 days. I simply could not get back to writing.

My dad passed on 29th of May. After going to India and participating in his last rites, something has left me. Do not know what it is. That 10+ days of going through rituals has left some unexplainable void.

There are a lot of things to write about. Lots of songs to sing. Somehow could not get back to doing things I do normally with the same ease. The only saving grace was yoga. Somehow knew that going to a hot and humid room and spending 90 minutes without making any external sound, will help silence my inner voice and bring me much needed calm, and it did. Kept doing yoga as much as possible.

One of my Smule group friends threw a party to introduce his son and new daugher-in-law after the marriage. Many from the group had planned to sing at this meet and greet. Did not sign up, but once there, my friends pulled me in to sing and I did enjoy that moment. Somehow after coming home after the event, went back into a funk.

Work kept me very busy. A young co-worker ended up sick right after I came back and that left another lump in my throat. Kept all my focus on just work and yoga. The writing and singing, taking pictures and hiking went sideways.

Then came the long weekend and we went on a trip as a family. This might have been the one chance to go as a family given the kids are adults now and their schedules are no longer under our control. It was a good week spent but still took me some time, to just log back into the blog site.

This is my online farewell to my dad. I have to write about the man and his influence or the buffer block won’t clear in my head.

Here is to

Shri Hariharan Narayanan of Pudukkottai, Chennai

1939-2025

My dad lost his mom at a very young age and that pretty much left a scar that carried through his life. He got married late and had kids late. He was extremely intelligent and smart. Had a phenomenal memory and ability to connect dots. He was also an emotional idiot with a penchant to romanticize tragedy and nostalgia.

His only bad trait was a short temper, a blown fuse that took its toll on me as a kid. Still when there was a time when no one stood by me, he was there for me. He was always the contrast to everything I looked up to in my grandpa. My grandpa was the biggest influence in my life. I always credit him for my value system, but my dad was there to shape it without intending to. Years later when my dad spent almost 6 months with us, I actually realized there were a lot of things that were common between my grandpa and my dad.

Then there is my reflection in the mirror, the things I do, my fear of going through Parkinson’s… which constantly remind me of him.

There were times I had a love hate relationship with who I was, who I am, but somethings I have not given up, like wearing my poonal, no matter what.. because he wanted me to wear it till I die, so sandyavandanam, change it once a year, so one day perform his last rites, give my daughters hand in marriage (in his eyes it was part of a rite of passage). He being who he was from a different time, was still talking to me about his sadness at me not having a son when I was already 50 and old enough to start thinking of becoming a grandpa myself. Over the years it used to annoy me, but as I matured, learned to laugh it off. There was no changing either one of us on certain things.

He mellowed out as he aged. It was easier to interact with him as the years passed. Not sure how much of that is a reflection of either one of us becoming more accepting. Maybe both of us!

As I write this, I can feel him right here next to me, reading this over my shoulder and suggesting edits, telling me I could do better than this. Wanted to write a fond farewell, only to realize there is no saying bye to someone who is a part of me.

He is definitely wishing me well from wherever he is.

Time is supposed to move things along and even if you sense a tinge of sadness in my writing and singing and overall mood, this too shall pass. We are seeing a steady improvement in my social interactivity coefficient already in 3 months. Maybe in another three months, will be back to being my usual self.

Here is to …

A weekend getaway with friends to Bodega Bay

For over 20 years we have wanted to visit Bodega bay. An old friend and colleague Kevin kept raving about this place after spending a weekend there with his wife. The opportunity never came. In early April, our friends called us to join them for a weekend at Windor (same area). They had access to a timeshare. We drove the two plus hours on a rainy Friday evening to Windsor. It was a cute apartment. Even if we did not go anywhere outside and were just chatting it would have still been a great weekend.

The trips to Bodega bay, the local estuary walk, telling them about the bench photo tradition, lunch at a Nepalese place in Sebastapol, visiting Healdsburg, spending time at a bookstore there followed by some delicious ice cream, walking in the rain and drizzle through the streets and art galleries there… all of that was just extra. Every family has a crazy person and a sane person.. you would have come to that conclusion if all our conversations were overheard.

We had fun!

More pics.. The late lunch at Namaste Kitchen was delicious! The ice cream and hot cocoa on a rainy afternoon at Noble folks in Healdsburg was out of the world!

Walking in Sebastopol on Florence avenue to admire the junk art was a great exprience. We met Patrick Amiot and thanked him for his creations!

while walking around the place we saw a very real reminder of current events.

A video highlights reel..

We are all getting to a different phase of our lives with the kids becoming young adults. It is great to feel young again.. only friends can do that with effortless ease!

Here is to many more getaways! The kids are probably rolling their eyes as they read this.. but will take that!

Wrapping up a magical trip with a sunset over Lisbon

The previous post in this series is here..

Our tourguide decided to drive through the Bangladeshi/Indian area of Lisbon before dropping us off in the Baixa square. The place had a ridiculous population density. Our guide told us that folks in this area live through a horror story but no one seems to be able to do anything about it!

We walked back towards our hotel area to the nicest Indian restaurant in Baixa, Swaagat. San made good on her promise. The food was just Amazing as was the ambience! It was not too expensive compared to the other places we tried either. Just fantastic!

After dinner, we decided to walk up the hill to see the sunset. There was a church which was part of the places to see in Lisbon that we missed the previous day. So off we went, walked to the Church, took pictures and found a spot among the crowed to take in the sunset. There is a timelapse video that is embedded within the video at the end of this post..

It was an evening to remember. Walking back (San ran back and as usual was catching up to her) chatting about the place, enjoying the tiled facades of every house on the hillside.. we packed up our stuff and got all set for our return early the following morning.

I have really enjoyed reliving this trip from last July over the entire year in bits and pieces. We covered so many places across Europe, had a fun time together and I got to watch my bride smile and dance and be a kid again after so many years. The whole thing was planned by her. All I had to do was follow and take pictures and videos. Happy wife, happy life! Also I lucked out big time with this girl. Some divine intervention got us together and for that I am forever grateful!

25 years has almost become 26 over the course of writing this blog series. In two weeks it will be yet another wedding anniversary! The last year has been a blur, but after writing this series of posts, I am really looking forward to the next many anniversaries.

A video highlights reel of our last evening in Lisbon to wrap up a fantastic trip!

On another note, the blog can now cover other things outside this trip..