Picking your battles

When you are on a busy holiday where nine days of traveling where you are on your feet for 12+ hours a day, the choice of places to visit makes all the difference as you get close to the end of the trip.

Pick places with plenty of options for folks to sit down every now and then, places without long lines, places with decent restrooms (a big thing when traveling with wife and two girls).. these are lessons that should have already been learned.. somehow I keep failing at it.. classic example was day 9 (previous post on this series)

So on day 10, we all woke up late. There was a small Indian restaurant right below our Air B&B and I got some rice pulav and rotis to go first thing in the morning. We had been lugging around these MTR packets of instant Dal, Mattar Paneer etc.. we "cooked" (or hot watered is more like it) those, and ate a directl early lunch.

Then I told them we could go to a quiet small museum which was on my list. The Monet Museum. It was a 90 minute to 2 hour spend at the most and there would be no rush. The family having decided that being nice to each other was a pre-requisite for the day, all agreed to go. 

So we took an Uber and went to this place. I left my heavy camera bag in the room. It was going to be casual snaps on the iPhone if any for the day. In the middle of a residential area, is a three story building which is the Monet Museum. 

It is quiet, clean, the exhibits are done nicely and the write up to the exhibits are done equally well. However, one has to have a certain appeal for this type of art. I like it, but the family was just plain giggling. 

Appa, anyone could have done that.. 

Appa, those are supposed to be what? Lilies ? how? 

Did this guy have fogged up spectacles while painting all these? 

etc. etc. an endless list of questions that usually mocked me, not the artist for picking this place.. but was done in a very roundabout way. 

My kids and wife were smiling and laughnig and being happy, so it didn't matter if they thought my choice of art was funny. We did enjoy two of the rooms (other than the Monet hall) where all the paintings were done by a guy called Jean Baptiste Corot and a lady called Berthe Morisot. Her paintings were amazing. Wondered why we never heard of her before..

Here are two slide shows of most of the stuff that was impressive in this museum.

After we went through the museum, we exited into a park where we watched a bunch of school kids doing their PE class. There was an afternoon to spend with no particular plans.. so we were off to Champs Elysses by day. 

No one minded waiting in line for Macaroons and other stuff at Laduree and they were absolutely delicious. My kids declared that going to Paris and not eating at Laduree is like going to Benaras and not having chai at Bihari's for me.. I kind of missed the logic as I had lived on that Chai for four years, but they had never been to this store.. but kind of realized that it was the "importance" that was the connecting factor.

Then we walked through the Louis Vutton store. There was a long line just to enter the store.. My job was to steer them clear of their wants changing to needs and I succeeded in a big way. 

Saw people ring up 4000$ handbags and my jaw dropped. The bags looked great but I could not figure out the price tags. Maybe I never will. 

We wandered around a few more shops, spent some time at a starbucks and it was time for an early dinner. The decision was to make everyone happy, so we all ate crepes at a Brittony style restaurant (which is famous for crepes, highly recommended by three Uber drivers.. the La Petite Bretonne)

and started walking back towards Saravana Bhavan.. The streets were getting tense because France was playing the world cup soccer semi finals.

Roads were jammed, crowds were gathering in large numbers, our drivers had warned us to get to where we need to get to before 6PM.

So after crepes and dosas, we walked to the Air B&B to watch the semi finals. France won and we were not prepared for what happened next. The entire apartment complex had a noise level increase at that instant. It was like a mini earthquake. We opened the door to the balcony and could hear a collective roar outside. Folks were coming out in their underwear and shouting from balconies. 

In short, it was crazy!

The honking and shouting did not stop all night. The sound level dropped to bearable around 1PM. We were going to leave for London the next morning on the Eurostar at 9AM and given we had to go through passport checks and security, were told to be at the station by 7 AM. It was a 30 minute walk to the station. 

We were not sure if we would wake up and rush in time. We had had a pretty relaxing day and there was no exhaustion to force us to sleep. The kids were already reminscing about Paris while we were still lying in bed. It was weird. 

The video of the day is here..

It was time to say bye to Paris and move on.. we were already into day 11.. 

When life takes you on strange Arcs..

Day 9 on our Europe trip had already seen the Louvre, Eiffel Tower, Sienne boat cruise, Notre Dame cathedral and we found ourselves at a boat stop ready to hail an Uber to go back to the Air B&B for a quick rest, wash and maybe something to eat.. before going on to the next stop I had been planning.

The previous post on this series is here..

The Montmartre area where we were supposed to go up the steps to another unique piece of architecture, watch street painters do their caricatures, art etc. and watch the sun set over Paris and see the Eiffel tower and all of Paris light up.. 

Many a friend had recommended this to me as a not to miss.. 

However, after all those staircases, sun in the face and head on open boats, walking through museums as fast as your legs could carry, wandering around cathedrals.. the family had.. how to say it? "HAD IT!"

So my plan to go to the hill was not materializing. If you are a photographer, you want to see the Eiffel tower light up .. not see it as just a steel monster towering above Paris.. but there we were, no one talking to anyone else, quietly sitting in an Uber and almost at the Air B&B. Was taking pictures of interesting streets and corner buildings on the way..

We went, sat in the Air B&B for a few minutes and decided to get out and do "something".. but first food!

When I am tired, hungry and cranky (if you lug a 30lb camera bag around your back the entire day you might be too.. especially with a corn in your foot that is getting worse by the day and you are practically hobbling), I usually gravitate towards Indian food.. no surprises there..

Even San, who works very hard to steer me away didn't argue. She had a slight cold and thought a milagu rasam would do her a world of good. The kids, were not for it. They wanted to have Crepes or anything French... given French food wasn't exactly the top on a Vegetarian families choice we had a conflict. 

By the time we decided what to eat (I had already given up on Saravana Bhavan although we were not that far away from it) we just stopped the discussion and walked into the first restaurant that came our way. It was an empty but newly renovated Pakistani restaurant. 

The kids stopped talking to us, we stopped talking to each other and with enough hate to go around the table for years to come, we ordered a biriyani, nan and two side dishes. Except for one of the side dishes, the rest of the items were below par. The price was way cheaper than any other place though and we thought we got what we paid for. There was more silence as we walked out. It wasn't exactly dinner time yet and we were probably early and the fact that some food had gone inside and the family was willing to walk again was a plus. 

Then I suggested that we walk around the Champs Elysses as that was one thing we were planning to do on our last day in Paris. So there were some silent approving nods and shoulder shrugs and the Uber was hailed again. 

It so happened that we had to cross the Arc to go to the shopping part, so I asked the driver to just stop before we reached the roundabout in front of the Arc de Triumphe. The driver said "thanks" and I didn't know why he was thanking me..

History has failed to teach me in all its repetitive glory that when I dig my self a hole, I dig really well. The god Saturn was probably dancing at the tip of my tongue (at least my Grandma would have concurred with that statement) when I said "how about we just go up the Arc and see if we can catch the Eiffel tower light up from there?"

The silent approvals and shoulder shrugs that had gotten us that far evaporated and turned into "I hate you!" stares. Was pretty sure the family was putting silent curses on me. 

Then they realized that daddy was not going leave Paris without taking photos of the Eiffel Tower by night. There was deliberate shoe shuffling, feet dragging noises but we went through the tunnel and ended up at the entrance to the Arc's stairs. There was a freaking line to buy tickets for climbing the stairs and no one was at the counter!  

This was not helping my cause. After standing there for a good 20 minutes and going through security, we came across a board that clearly indicated how narrow the stairs were and how many steps had to be climbed to go to the top. That was not helping my cause either! 

Basilisks would have been scared of San and the kids after seeing them stare in my direction. We climbed, slowly and just before we started, the little one decided to turn all her anger at her mom. Sparks were flying and then silence. No one talks to anyone anymore. Given it was Paris and if there was one time I HAD to take my wifes side, I said something nice and at least the two of us walked together.  Jr. was trying to mediate with minimal results. 

Everyone was right and everyone was wrong at the same time for all the same reasons. It was 8:45 PM and we had reached the top of the Arc. The views from the top of the Arc were spectacular and we could see the Montmartre area and the hill from the Arc. This would top anything from that hill hands down, is what we all realized and there were some smiles. The family was together again, realizing that this was more comfortable and closer to the Air B&B and we could see the tower up close!

There was a lively crowd all jostling for space to catch the lights and we parked ourselves. Got a lot of pano shots from the top including the sun that was about to set..

We saw a glorious sunset at 9:54 PM and the lights were to come on in 6 minutes.

They did come on slowly. Unfortunately the lights were not making an impression as it was still pretty bright outside. 

Also the lights did not do the twinkling thing that was advertised earier in the day. We had to wait till 11 PM for that.. but the Arc kicks out people before 11 as it closed around that time. So we stayed there till 10:20 in the museum area..

Some photos from the 2 hours we spent up there..

Then something happened again.. no one knows what, maybe because the kids decided to go down without telling us and we kept searching for them between the two levels.. and silence returned. The kids would not sit with us to watch the little video that was on auto play at the gift shop level below the open terrace..

Again, by some strange miracle, we patched up and decided to walk around the Champs Elysses.. hunger it must have been.. the big golden arches were spotted and we ran in for some fries and Ice cream cones.. It was midnight at McDonalds and we had refueled to get back to the Air B&B...

Everyone was glad to be back on an Uber. Without saying much except "don't bother waking me up in the morning" , "me neither", "me neither" to me from different locations within that small apartment, the lights went out.. 

Day 9 came to an end! I was actually glad it did..

The thinking cap.. or thread.. is on!

Last weekend was interesting. It was the beginning of a lot of festivities. First the ladies celebrated Varalaskshmi vritham on Friday. We had a lot of friends and family visiting us in the evening. 

Had to fly out on Saturday afternoon and was initially very disappointed because the thread changing ceremony which I look forward to every year was on Sunday/Monday based on an earlier conversation with my parents. 

Was also looking forward to chatting with my nephews... all three of them who had their Upanayanam ceremony this summer. 

When I told my mom that I will miss the ceremony and spend the day on a plane and given I lose 15 hours due to time difference, the days and times don't count. My dad said in a matter of fact voice "change the thread before you leave or after you come back. I will tell you when. Something is better than nothing!". Then went on their usual gripe about travel, priorities in life, a persons reasoning, am I doing this travel for money or for some higher purpose, money is not the priroity,  etc. etc. 

As it turned out the actual day for the ceremony was Saturday and Sunday. So I got up bright and early on Saturday and changed my Poonal (refered to as thread in this blog over the years).

Wife and MIL had plenty of Idly batter from the previous day and made me Idly and also some Pongal. Was going to fast the rest of the day on the plane and do Gayathri Japam on the plane if possible. 

My parents were happy after seeing that picture. I pretty much slept through the plane ride and after reaching the hotel, took a shower, sat down facing the setting sun in the 20th floor of a hotel room and recited the gayathri mantra a 1008 times. My nose was blocked after the flight thanks to United freezing us in mid flight but it didn't stop me. Ate a few more of the packed idlis and went to sleep. 

Had severe headaches the rest of the trip and finally made it back. Went to do yoga and as usual the new white thread catches peoples eyes before I walk into the room and a person asks "what is the meaning of that?". 

So I went on the usual "It is something that a particular sect from India wears as a mark of their commitment to learning and the pursuit of knowledge." then after a few more questions and answers later (by this time I have a practical FAQ on the thread aka poonal written inside my head and the answers come with practiced ease), there was a bonus question. "Is it passed on by birth only or can anyone wear this thread and do the ceremony? You tell me that you are still into research and development and pride yourself on learning and I get it, but you are no longer doing priest stuff right? So why wear this thread?" 

When the question is asked in English with a Japanese accent from an innocent and sincere face, I felt my FAQ needed a re-write!

Told her that as far as I knew, most of the folks who wear the thread were born into the families of brahmins, but there are lot of instances of folks accepting the thread and pursusing a brahmin life. I still had not answered the second part of the question.. why still wear it if you are not doing prayers every day like a priest?

The bell rang and I walked into the hot room. We were 55 minutes into the 90 minute class and were going from standing series to floor series to get a 2 minute break lying down staring at the ceiling in dead body pose. I was way too alive for those two minutes as my brain was trying to consisely summarize what definied a person as a brahmin, more specifically what defined me in my own opinion (that level of restricting the question should have an easy answer). Forget the rest of the world Sundar.. what makes you a Brahmin in your own mind?

So I tried to summarize with my fingers the bullet points of what I valued as Brahmin, lying there staring at the ceiling, counting with my thumb against the tips of my fingers. 

a. Value knowledge over everything else

    1. Keep an open mind

    2. respect your teacher above anything else

    3. keep learning no matter what your age

    4. don't keep that learning to yourself. . . teach people whenever possible (and I was smiling thinking...

        unless restricted by IP licenses and legal contracts)

    5. Question things.

        i. If the answers don't make sense keep questioning

        ii. don't accept an answer because it is convenient

        iii. don't reject an answer because it is beyond your comprehension at that time.

b. Don't chase money, power or crave social acceptance

    1. Knowledge and and education are more important than being rich or powerful

    2. spare no effort to make sure your kids get the best education (something that was passed on from

        parents and relatives)

    3. value knowledge and money will come. Value money and ignorance and arrogance will come.

c. Be obsessive compulsive when it comes to cleanliness

    1. if there is one thing that is common to all the rules to follow growing up in a Brahmin family it is the love

        for cleaning oneself obsessively and learning to love it..

    2. be careful with what you eat and how you clean things before eating (goes to vegetarian choice, cleaning

        the floor before putting plates or eating from banana leaves, drinking from glasses where you dont touch

        the glass with your lips, sharing food with others in same plates etc.. ).

Almost looks like folks came up with elaborate rules after some epidemic that was spread by human contact or through food and the rules stayed with the survivors of the epidemic and became the POR or BKM.. (Process Of Record , Best Known Method for folks who are wondering..)

d. Follow the rules

    1. Be it the rituals to follow during prayers (it is more like a training for you to know that following rules is important, maybe some rules are made by the priest and others are made by your wife.. but follow the rules you must)

    2. or the rules in daily life. If there is a rule of law follow it or work to change it

e. Respect 

    1. everyone for what they do. I do see a lot of folks with the thread falter on this one. If you do have good guidance and great teachers, you will know that respecting everyone for what they do is the right way. 

    2. respect yourself (you realize this as part of the daily ritual after getting the thread)

    3. respect the thread and what it reminds you of and what it stands for

Visions of my grandfather kept coming to me and I had tears for no reason just thinking of him. I would constantly try to be a pain in the ass asking him 20 questions per minute and he would sit in the backyard in the evening and explain things to me one at a time with infinite patience while taking some Tulasi and green camphor, crush it and hold it under my nose to clear my blocked nose so I could ask him more questions without suffering.. 

My kids never ask me any such questions. They seem to have some intuitive understanding of who they are and are comfortable with who they are..

I was all set to have more detailed answers for the next time someone asked me questions.. 

Then came the funny side of life. Does this come in different sizes? you used to have a smaller thread.. this one is much larger! it was true. Somehow the priest who gave me this thread has given me a much longer poonal. 

was going to say "It comes in S, M, L and XL. Somehow I got the XL but given I already changed it, going to stick to it till next year and go back to M" but turth is most of the time I have seen only two sizes, a kids size and adult size.. For some reason this time I have a much longer one.

Have to go ask my dad for answers!

Every year around this time there is a lot of festivities. Today happens to be Janmashtami, Krishna's birthday. There is more stuff to eat and a prayer to be said in the name of Krishna.. 

My stomach is returning to normal again just in time and that is great news..

MIL has outdone herself this year with some treats!

Being Brahmin and wearing a poonal should not stop with just wearing it and doing Sandhyavandanam.. to me it means knowing how to make seedai, experimenting with it, passing on what I learned and most importantly washing my hands before eating the seedai!