Some profound realizations

This year I have had more hospital check-ins than the last 7 years combined. Maybe age is a factor like some are pointing out. Maybe the SaniMahadasa (Saturn influence) is a factor like some others are saying. Then there is just the activities like hectic travel and hiking gravel paths down mountain slopes which are factors.

No matter what the cause or the interpretive diagnosis from X-rays, MRI’s etc. the bottom line is that I am not yet walking normally at a brisk pace, unable to climb stairs, let alone hike up hills and mountains and not easily sit cross legged on a daily basis.

The physiotherapists are helping. I am doing wood pecker and clam shell poses instead of eagles and locusts.. flight related yoga references have changed to more grounded things.. That irony is not lost on me!

Apparently I have toned muscles, but not enough of them and unless I start doing some weights and get more protein and get muscle gain (after the knee is repaired with ice, heat, ibuprofen, rest, physio for next two weeks) things will not improve. Also noted.. amazing core strength inspite of not having enough muscle. Guess that is thanks to years of yoga. Supposed to use that core strength to help build other muscles. Time will tell. I take the student part very seriously and try to make my teachers proud. Hope my physios at Kaiser will be proud of my effort.

Last week I did get a “talking”. The previous week they had asked me to do 7 sets once of a bunch of exercises. I misheard it and didn’t read the printout fully. Only used the pictures in the printouts to remember the exercise sequence and did 7 sets of 7 reps each.. was doing it every 2 hours from 7AM to 7PM. More physio doesnt mean faster recovery. Might have made it worse. Doing those once a day didn’t seem to be much of exercise, so I was surprised. Turns out things are supposed to be progressing slowly.

“Slow” - a word that doesn’t exist in my dictionary (you can read that like a Gabtun dialogue). Now I have reconciled to this word. Progress is being made. I am able to walk better now without pain for longer times and have no swelling.

The only challenge is to sit on the floor. Did Amavasai tharpanam and sent the usual photo to my mom after doing tharpanam. That is my way of telling her it was done. I did smile without wincing today. Managed to sit on the floor for an hour. Was not easy to do a namaskaram and get up but it was not bad.

Now coming to the profound realization.. We live in a very complex polarized geo political world.

Thanks to sweeping generalizations that if you stand for A in issue 1, you automatically stand for B in issue 2 etc. type logic. I see Desis, Jewish friends, Israelis, White friends, black friends, Brahmin friends, women friends, yoga buddies, everyone caught in these false logic traps. Silence is not acceptance in a digital world where everything you say is being used against you on an immediate basis. That is one realization. Folks who are very vocal are usually the least knowledgeable on what they are vocal about. That is another realization. AI Algos are definitely not being used to create truthful summaries. They are being used more to obfuscate the truth.

Then there was yet another realization. After coming back from India, have been using the Tharpanam book to do offerings to dad and all ancestors on every new moon day and other special days. Wanted to understand the procedure and meaning behind what I was doing. Our Vaadhyaar in India said “indha kaalaththula ellam onlinela irukkunnaa! onnukku rendu article cross refer panni paarungo!” Clearly he was on the side of online education in the. interest of time. So I did do that search in June.

When we finally do the offering of water with the darbai grass which features in all prominent rituals. We also offer sesame seeds with the water (for a person allergic to sesame seeds, I find that also interesting) .

We recite:

Eshaam (those) na (no) maathaa(mother) na(no) pitha(father) na(no) brathaa(brother) na(no) cha bandhavaah (and relatives)

they sarve (them all) thrupthi(fulfilment) mayaanthu(may they satisfy) mayoth(offered by me, poured out by me) srushtaihi kusodhahai (water mixed with a specific grass)

The idea is that I am not just offering it to my dad and all the dearly departed on both sides of the family, but also offering this to anyone who does not have folks who can do this offering for them. This is the equivalent of a hospital not turning back anyone because they don’t have insurance. We all take care of each other, as not everyone has someone to fall back on.

This is the ultimate realization of “all for one and one for all”, or “no one left behind”, even when offering rites to satisfy dead souls. “Vedic rituals had socialism built into it” It is one interpretation by me. This will immediately get a visceral reaction from capitalist friends who might object to their tharpanam going to dead people they still hold a grudge against and might add an exception list. Everything is possible in Kali kaalam.

There was good in this world and there will continue to be. That was the last realization. The only thing my dad kept asking me over and over again on every visit to India was “enakku kaariyam ellam oru koraiyum vekkaama pannuviyonno?” (promise me you will do all the last rites for me without taking any shortcuts). He was a stickler for details and knowing me the way he did, I was offended by him even asking me that. My mom would smile everytime I would say “Ellam pannuven BR. Don’t worry!”. Once we go, we are gone, hopefully to a much better place far far away and our destiny shouldn’t be gated by what our progeny does for us after the fact. It should be decided by what we did when we were alive. However, I do for my father what he wanted and I did promise him with all my heart.

I have no sons and don’t plan on extracting any promise from anyone to do any last rites for me. Hopefully I do enough good while alive that my afterlife is not gated by what someone else has to do on my behalf.

Then again, there are enough people doing this tharpanam for their ancestors and they got me covered, in case my belief system has gaping holes!

After all, what do I know about the afterlife?

My dad is lucky even a year after his passing - Ganga Dushera

The previous post in this series is here..

Day 3 started early as we got a helicopter to go to Gangothri from Yamunothri.

It was a short ride. Once we got there, there were separate cars for each family. The driver told us that we will go to the hotel and then go to Gangothri as there will be traffic and it was Ganga Dusshera, an auspicious festival. We told him that we would rather go straight to see Ganga Dusshera and finish, even at the risk of missing lunch. He was nice and agreed.

We went straight from the helipad to Gangothri temple. It was a long ride and we saw fantastic views, crossed Asia’s third highest bridge and eventually he went as far as he could before asking us to get down and walk. The guide met us at the entrance. He was also a kid. He took us straight to the river, got me a bucket, had me take a bath there (we bought a towel on the way!) and we got to participate in the Ganga aarathi. This day was considered river Ganga’s birthday and it is celebrated in select states where the Ganges flows. I was told that this tharpanam on Ganga Dusshera at the Bhageerathi river was something special!

The best part was the head priest suddenly calling Sangeetha and handing her the aarathi and asking her to do arrathi for Ganga! She was standing in the edge of the river and somehow the light made its way to her!

We did a tharpanam for my dad. My FIL also got to do a tharpanam for his dad. That was nice! Once we were done, we had to walk another mile back to the car. We stopped at one of the stalls and got some food as there was no guarantee of a lunch when we finally made it to the hotel (we didn’t know when).

We were happy that we finished what we came to do that day. We made it back to the hotel. Most of the lunch was done and we scraped what was in the bottom of the buffet bowls and ate something. We were happy with Chai! My MIL wanted to rest but we wanted to see the Harshil village, which also had a military outpost. FIL decided to join us and the three of us spent an hour going around the village. Right after we came into the hotel, it poured like no tomorrow for an hour straight. Good thing we were back in the hotel and not caught in traffic on the hillsides with this downpour!

Here are the photos from this leg..

My tummy is still big after eating those once a day meals during the Varushabdheegam ceremonies… it took another two weeks and back to hot yoga to reduce it .. “a bit” (added that in case Sangeetha contests the statement!)

and a longer video of the days events..

We did have a nice dinner at the hotel and got some much needed rest. We had to wait for when our pickup would be the following morning for our next stop..

The road to heaven goes through hell - Chardham Yatra

The one other major “trip” that we took after the Japan trip was to do the Chardham yatra via Helicopter.

My father had requested that I go visit over and over again, in the days that he could still talk. So right after the one year annual ceremony, my mom suggested I go do this Yatra with San. Her reasoning was “I don’t know when you will come visit next. So go when you are here!”. We had spent the first week of the trip doing the ceremonies for 5 days, then immediately visited Gunaseelam (family deity) temple for a day. Then we were free to visit other temples. So right away we spent the next six days in the CharDham Yatra.

We had requested my FIL to do the booking as he is local and could directly talk to the. tour operators. He was already wary as there was a lot of fraudulent bookings for this yatra. He had transferred a little over 2k USD per person for this five day trip not to mention the travel from Chennai to Dehradun and Dehradhun to Mumbai.

We were committed. The decision was to have our in-laws join as well. We begged them to join. They had read the reviews and knew it was not going to be easy to do this at their age, but they agreed and we were glad they did. They might have regretted the decision. At least they didn’t show it. Something tells me that this will be the last trip we go with them which involves high altitude, extended walking, poor accommodations without proper restrooms. Now that I have gone through my first UTI and kidney infection, totally understand what I put my FIL through for those five days. Hopefully he forgives me in this lifetime.

A few things to note before I dive into writing details about this Yatra.

1. I was already in a bad mood. My fathers passing only hit me while we were busy cleaning up the apartment. Till then it was lurking in the background. Dropping off mom’s thirumangalyam at Gunaseelam temple was the last nail. So I was grumpy and mentally exhausted.

2. My wife and in-laws were fully aware of the situation. They were extremely supportive throughout this trip. Every now and then, they just let me be to stare at the snow covered mountains.

3. When people tell you that given we go by Helicopter from place to place and get to see the actual deities, as though it is a walk in the park, it is NOT! This is not for older people or people with health issues. If you get altitude sickness, think twice or thrice before you go.. Better, avoid it.

4. The Heli tours seat 6. If possible get a full group so your helicopter is in your control at least as far as the passenger manifest is concerned. This way there are no issues with late or missing passengers costing you a day on a hectic trip. Local travellers who can afford to take such risks don’t care about their co-passengers.

5. Do not Plan this for 5 days even though that is the travel plan. Have at least 3 extra days to save yourself a lot of mental agony. Helipads close due to bad visibility, bad weather, local fires etc. totally unpredictable weather in these parts of the himalayas. Once you are up there, a road trip return is also not possible as roads close due to landslides. There are also unpredictable delays due to politicians and other folks who block roads.

6. go on a dieting spree before this trip. The helicopters can only take so much weight. They assume 75kg per passenger and a 5kg bag per person. You will be weighed before every trip.

Having said all that, we did take all morning and afternoon to fly from Chennai to Dehradun via Lucknow. Once we reached Dehradun airport, we had a car waiting for us to take us to our hotel. It was a 90 minute drive through the mountains. On the way there were many roadside stalls for good and chai. We stopped to have noodles and Chai.

Every 500m there is a “pahaho-wali maggi” store. Never diss Maggi noodles. It is the food of sherpas! San let me have all the Maggi I wanted on this trip. That is one thing that put a smile on my face!

We were met by the tour coordinator who gave us a bag and said anything we need for the next 4 days goes in that bag and cannot exceed 5kgs. Also he asked for our weight including what we were going to wear (jackets etc). He asked us to leave our luggage in the hotel cloak room and leave only with the 5kg bag the next morning. So we packed emergency medicines, chargers, minimal clothes and before you knew it was done! I kept 1 kg as reserve in my bag in case we bought some souveniers. It was a good move.

We had a nice dinner and breakfast at the hotel in Dehradun and were picked up by the tour company. It was a short drive to the Sahasradhara helipad in Dehradun. We got boarding passes after being weighed in. After a short wait, we flew to Yamunothri. It was a 40 minute ride and was pleasant. This is my first helicopter ride if memory serves me right. So it was better than my expectations.

Once at Yamunothri, they see your badges and folks come take you to the hotel. It was a simple room. We were asked to rest. There were enough rooms for the group and a separate shed for having food. The village was very peaceful with a few hotels and a small temple. The views were amazing! There were 15 people in our group. 60 guys were going to come and carry us 4 /person in a Doli (it is a bucket seat that is held up by two wooden sticks on either side) up 7+ kilometers with an elevation gain of 3000 feet.

We waited patiently for 3 hours! Apparently the election commisisoner had decided to do the Chardham coinciding with our schedule. That was not good news. They had blocked the path for an hour. So the morning group was stuck. Doli men could not reach. Finally they showed up and were ready to go on their second trip! These are all kids and young men 17-30 who came from Nepal during the visiting season to make money. Strawberry pickers from Mexico came to mind.

After just a few yards on the Doli, I was not for it. We hike a lot. So I got off the Doli and told the guys it was okay. They were getting paid anyways. So one of them can guide me and the other three can carry the doli and walk along. If I could not walk, then I agreed to get back. I hiked the entire way up. San also saw what I did and decided to walk it. My in-laws found it difficult to breathe and after a point their doli’s were all stopped thanks to the politician and everyone was asked to walk. They could not and made the wise decision to turn back to the hotel. San was stuck a good mile behind me. Lucikly the Doli guys had cell signal at places and they sent word. I waited and finally she joined me. They had parked the doli’s 4.5 km from the bottom. We both ran up the rest of the way through doli’s horses, people who would not move..

When I was almost a Km to the top, a horse hit my ankle with full force, removed my shoes and skin came off my ankle. Told the guys it was too late to turn back. Just put my socks back on and kept going. We reached the Yamunothri shrine at 7 PM. It was already getting dark. A priest met us, took us to a line and shoved us in there. His instructions “keep your hands up and go with the crowd. You will be in front in a few minutes. See the deity. THey will push you out. I will wait for you where they push you out”. It was like a birthing experience. At 7:08 we were ejected out. We had seen the shrine for maybe 25 seconds tops.

As part of my promise to my dad, I did no a prayer at this place. That took another 10 minutes with the priest. Then it was time to go down. We went down almost 4 km by walk. By then the doli guys joined us. It was getting crazy with Doli’s, horses and people pushing. So they told us walking was not good for us or them. Doli’s have right of way! so we both got on that and they literally ran down the last 3 km. WIth full bladders we had to endure a bumpy ride to the base. Then we had to walk back up to the hotel. That was a climb in itself. We were so happy to see the restroom. They still had dinner left for us. So we ate what we could. We were also glad to see my in-laws in good spirits. They were happy they decided to return back. In spite of leaving earlier, they were also caught in the politician traffic and had made it back only 90 minutes before we did.

Here are some picturess..

and a video..

We crashed right away. The next morning we were going to leave for the helipad bright and early.