Waxing, Tampons and the power of ideas

Yes, Yes.. it is one of those posts that is Kryptonite for some of my friends.. brings all those taboo blog topics into one single post! 

Most of you saw my recent rant on Facebook about switching to Nike swimwear instead of my tried and trusted Dolphin shorts, for Bikram Yoga class and the disastrous side effects of ripping hair off.  Given that I was one step shy of becoming Sanjay Ramaswami, and gave valuable feedback to the shorts industry, there are still not that many good options for Men's yoga shorts.

Earlier this week, my classmate suggested : Why not wear a "komanam" and do yoga?

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the concept, a "komanam" or "langot" is just the way people in India used to wear a cloth folded into a string around the waist. It is probably the oldest known design for an underwear that was also the "only wear", and fit a multi purpose design and functionality for

- poor men who could not afford anything more

- saints and monks who have given up everything and wanted to show they "minimized" on material comforts

- default clothing for kids 

- athletic wear for wrestlers, fighters and Yoga practitioners

While searching for why my grandfather was the last one in our family to wear this, and how the VIP Frenchie/ Jockey has dinosaured the Komanam in South India, came across many interesting links. Some of these links while educational, may not be considered safe for work.

Also learned that this was the best way to protect wrestlers from "rupturing their groins". Why would anyone indulge in an activity that would potentially rupture their groins? is beyond me.  Anyway, lets move on..

If you look at Yogis whose name has made it to the western world, you can see that the lowest common denominator for apparel from Thirumalai Krishnamacharya, BKS Iyengar (man had same style from his 30's to 90's) , Pattabhi Jois, Baba Ramdev, Bishnu Ghosh, and my favorite , or a group of Yogis (this one is from 2013), the choice seems to be either a "Komanam" aka "Langot" or a speedo! 

In order of preference for a hot yoga class, suggest men go as close to the right as possible. Refer picture below that shows three things I have worn to class with the first two making it very difficult.

Now what does my friends suggestion have to do with tampons and the power of ideas?

There is a back story from 2009. It started with an India trip and accupuncture. Hindsight being 20/20 or better, that might not have been required if I had found hot yoga earlier! Two classes would have fixed it. Think the hot lamp did as much work as the needles and the voltages.  

The accupuncture only fixed it temporarily. Within a few months, my feet started hurting. So off I went to the hospital and they said my foot was flat and the "arch" was disappearing. Then we had to go measure the flatness of the foot and get new customized inserts for the shoes, socks with elastic in them, etc.. None of that was helping anyone except the hospital and the shoe store. Part of the problem was that I could not wear these sneakers at work, especially given the formal wear didn't go with the sneakers!

Then a colleague saw me limping and said "why don't you take a tampon and put it in your shoes?".

Came home and thought about it. Hmm.. tampons in your shoes? Why not? Then I realized that Sanitary napkins would be a better bet, given they have a sticker which can be used to stick it to the sole and I can custom cut them to any shape!

When San came home that evening, I asked her "Can you give me a sanitary napkin?"

Her reaction was a kodak moment. It is not everyday that your hubby asks you for a sanitary napkin. Being lost for words, she pointed me to a cabinet.

Took a napkin, cut it in two pieces to match what would have been my arch and nicely stuck the two pieces into the shoes after peeling off the sticker. The next day I went to work with my napkin fixed formal shoes and was walking comfortably. Why not? It was like walking on a cotton cloud! Guess the added benefit to doing this was that any extra moisture inside the shoes is absorbed by the napkin and it makes for a more comfortable walking experience. 

This went on for two days and I told my colleage "By the way, thanks for your idea! It has changed my life" .. He spit out his coffee. Apparently he was being sarcastic and was joking. I told him that he has no idea, how good his ideas are, because he doesn't take them seriously. 

There is also a lesson in this for inventors. Patent the idea, even if you never plan to put it in practice or implement it. Some other guy like me, who is not afraid to try those ideas, might come along and actually put it in practice and it might work, very well! 

Well, now you know the back story of why giving me ideas comes with its pros and cons.. 

Might actually try them!

Why? Why? Why?

Yours truly is back in the US of A. That also means back at BYSJ. 

I did the 60 day Challenge and after that, have gone there a mere 10 times in the last 40 days, thanks to travel and United airlines flying. 

Flying United is like whipping yourself, thinking it is going to somehow absolve you of all your sins. No good comes out of it and all you are left with are scars.. seriously, I have scars now. Given my friends have requested me politely and not so politely to stop sharing rashfies or Xelfies as someone called it, there will be no pictures. 

Flying United.. what can I say?! It is like watching Sigourney Weaver and crew flying around in the alien movie series. You think you came out alright.. you wait for 48 hours and something is tearing your stomach and crawling out! You never know if those damn aliens, sorry co-passengers have infected you. 

Definitely did not start writing this post about "Why? I still fly United". Somehow I ended up there. 

Earlier this week, went to a Yoga class after a long time. There was a LOT on my mind, thinking about work and Jr.'s persistant requests for downloading a Snapchat app. Thirty minutes into the class, finally got to stop thinking about all that and was only worried about surviving the next 60 minutes and being able to stand on one leg. It was a hard fought battle, going from bullshit thoughts that would not stop, to breath and balance. 

Then the floor series exercises started.

It so happened that an ant (that looked like a Pulliar Erumbu, I cannot be sure) had decided to check out my mat and more specifically my hand. 

The next 25 minutes was spent in trying to avoid killing that ant with my hands or shoulders and I did everything humanly yogically possible to avoid killing it. Was blowing it away and it came back. Flicked it gently with my fingers and it came back. It was like the ant had a death wish! Having come into the room to find peace, was definitely not going to go on the war path with said ant. 

The teacher was looking at me funny when we did the "airplane" pose. My plane did a weird nosedive to the left, trying to avoid an imminent crash with the ant.  As soon as this happened, the lady on my left saw what was going on, and promptly squished the ant! 

If a speaker was connected directly to my brain and my thoughts made audible, the emotional outburst in my head would have broken all the mirrors in the room! 

Shed a tear. Maybe it was for the ant. Maybe my spine was still recovering from that almost crash landed airplane. We will never know. 

Now for the last Why?

Knowing that the whole idea of staying in a Yoga room for 90 minutes was to kill all thought and distractions from the mind, how is a teensy weensy ant able to distract me for a good 25 mintues?!

Why?!

Perspectives

Another hospital visit, this time with San chauffering me. We go to the reception desk and the lady gives me a mask to wear. I give her a look and she goes "don't you have rashes?" 

Did not respond to her. She wet wiped the pen I used to sign the credit card bill. I smiled inside. Then came the kicker. Please go to that railing and stand there.

Me : I am very tired and drowsy. Can I just sit in one of these chairs? The doc told me day before yesterday that this is not contagious

Rec: The folks here don't know that. Also because you have rashes a nurse will be right out to get you to a room. 

After waiting near the rails for a good 5 minutes and watching two more people go in, I just sit cross legged on the floor near the railing. Realizing my trouble the receptionist was nice. She got out of her pen and took me inside and said "sorry. I thought they will be faster". 

Then comes a nurse. I go to get my blood pressure checked and remove my jacket. She gets a look at my arm and starts scratching her face. 

Me : What happened?

Nurse : Sorry. Just looking at your arm makes me itch! I don't know why!

For a second my mind just went ballistic on her. Do you have any freaking idea woman that the only thing I want to do right now is to remove my shirt and go rub myself against that opposite textured wall that looks like sand paper? Do you have any idea that I am using all those years of shavasana training just to sit still here? I actually "want".. NO NO NO "need" to itch right now and you are doing it just by looking at me?

How will this woman ever survive J's class is she were to take it, without getting a lecture on "want" vs. "need" when it comes to itching and scratching? the mind was wandering off. 

I took a deep breath in and a deep breath out. The world was not fair and hey, it never claimed to be, so what the hell?

She found a way to carefully place the blood pressure monitor sensor out of a rash and took my pressure. Was expecting to see a reading of zillion / zero. It actually read 104/60. Somehow all those things that were going on in the head, I had not taken to heart. It was nice to know.

Again, she said sorry as she meticulously wet wiped the sensor they put in your fingertip and the pressure equipment. I mumbled something to the effect of "it is okay" and "you know they tell me it is not contagious, but everything you guys keep doing tells me otherwise" . She said "we do it as a habit when we see rashes"

Then while sitting in the room the thought of what these nurses and receptionists and doctors go through in their line of work just hit me. 

Here I am thinking of becoming an anti social simply to avoid contact with strangers in planes and airport lounges to minimize picking up new germs when they go in the exact opposite direction knowing the risks? Can I blame them for wiping everything?

These people put their lives at risk day in and day out dealing with body fluids that are known contaminated for the most part and one mistake could cost them and the odds of that mistake happening are much higher in a hospital than in an United flight. (okay, maybe that last one needs to be really investigated, but let's assume United planes have less sick individuals than hospitals for now, okay?)

One thing that made it through my thick head was that my tendency to judge quickly based on what I saw has not changed or improved. I still judge.. but 9/10 times these days I go back and re-evaluate my stand and am okay to stand corrected within a few seconds or minutes. It would be nice to not judge instantly, but that has been me for 40+ years, so it will take time to change that habbit. 

On the way out, did make it a point to thank each and everyone of the folks who helped me. That was a few days ago.

The last few days have been muddling through work, taking phone calls at home and no driving. Walking in the backyard with no shirt on exposing the glorious rashes to Ra for him to do the rest. Seriously they told me that 5-10 minutes of direct sunlight will help. 

This morning was tough. I had chills all last night and my body was aching so bad that I took a day off of work and went back to bed. When I woke up, it was almost 3PM. Had slept through the entire day from 10PM to 3PM skipping breakfast and lunch. 

Took a shower, did the sunlight thing and put on some more ointments and checked my mail.. and that brings to the second perspective. There were four people who were suggesting that this was an insect bite and six suggesting that I should stop doing Bikram Yoga immediately as it was probably the root cause of all problems. These are all people who are family and very close friends.

The doctors are saying that this is most likely a case of "pityreasis rosea" where the cause is a virus or it is an amoxycillin reaction. They told me that heat will make the rashes more obvious and it is good to not overheat and take warm water showers instead of hot water showers. But they also tell me that Bikram yoga cannot cause this. It can only make the rashes look more purple.

Telling my family and friends that "Bikram yoga is good for you" (exception is wife, MIL and kids)  is like going to a Fox news show and saying "Islam is a peaceful religion"!  Recently in one of those United lounge conversations a guy tells me "Terrorism is in the muslim religion itself!". I was just taken aback. Simply did not know how to react to it. Here is a devout Christian telling a not so devout Hindu that Islam is synonymous with terrorism and I don't have a witty comeback.

Most of the folks who have never set foot in a hot room have an opinion on Bikram Yoga from the media? It is usually opinions, not facts. "If this is what I perceive and I am in the media, it has to be true.. because I am on TV and you are on your couch".. well that seems to be the trend these days.

Have never been a Muslim so I have no right to make a judgement call on the religion, but we do have muslim friends and families who are just like us. Hardworking, sincere, family men and women who go about their day. Some go pray every friday and some don't. Their kids are as normal as ours from every view point. There are definitely data points that tell me that the "all muslims are violent" statement is false.  

Incidentally, it was my 4 year anniversary and I was "itching" to go do Yoga to commemorate, but all I ended up doing was itch. It was depressing. Have written so many posts on my experience with Bikram Yoga over the last 4 years. 

My family and friends sometimes don't see why I love it so much. It is not possible for everyone to experience every religion before making statements on it. One can only hope that all good religions teach the message of understanding and eventually transcending religion to see the god within oneself and others is the final step for religious graduation. 

Same thing for Yoga. I cannot make everyone go experience the hot room and then make up their mind. Tried that and realized that not everyone can see the value of sweating it out for 90 minutes with a bunch of strangers in front of a mirror.

San did try it after my MIL and me repeatedly asked her to try and after 30 classes she said "It is a great feeling after the class finishes, but I simply cannot handle the smell Sundar! I have no idea how you do it, but it is not for me. You go as much as you want, but don't ask me to join you!"  Now that is a sense of realism that I can handle. She is a better person than me for cutting to the chase and saying "if it works for you great. go for it"

The kids used to come for the family class (warm room instead of hot) and loved it. The minute Jr. came to the adult class she stopped after 4 classes. Her reason? "Daddy, I am practically on the floor after the warm up. The teacher told me that my blood pressure is not same as adults so I will feel dizzy. I feel bad sitting down when others are trying so hard all around me. Don't want to be a spoil sport". When she comes up with something like that in all sincereity, I said "fine, do your one mile run every day. maybe you can come try with me in a few years"

The little one nonchalantly states "you know I can TOTALLY do it if I want to.. I really CAN! It is just that I DON'T want to do it!" . Personally the little one is ready for everything and nothing at the same time. She is going to kill me sooner or later in just trying to figure her out.

In all this drowsiness, I read a message that said "by the way, the guy who started the yoga you do, is being arrested for something or other. maybe you should seriously rethink going to this yoga". That is when I closed one browser window, opened another and started typing this post. 

Having never met Bikram and knowing him only though the Yoga routine he has passed on, if someday I meet him, the only words I will have for him are "THANK YOU!" and it will be in a much bigger font than that.

There is no way I can judge him for anything else other than this routine, which is sheer brilliance.