When a 20 year old white kid reminds me of my mom..

You know it is a "twilight zone" moment when a 20 year old white kid reminds you of your very Indian mother.

Was asked to go pick up a few items from the local Whole Foods store.

My daughters tell me on the way out : "can you get us shampoo while you are there?"

Me: Whole foods purchases for Organic stuff I understand.. you want Organic Shampoo? you don't eat shampoo! Just get the usual Dove, etc. stuff that you get from Safeway. 

Little one : Daddy, those shampoos have sulfates. You need to get us shampoo without sulfates!

Jr. chimes in : Yeah Appa. Sulfates are apparently bad. Whole foods sells sulfate free shampoo. can you get us one please?

I was about to launch into a long monologue on "do you know what sulfates are? etc. etc. " and given my time crunch said "fine. whatever. will see if I can pick it up"

So off I go. Finish the shopping list and am standing in the aisle in Whole Foods that says "shampoo" with total disbelief that there is a whole aisle for shampoo larger than the one at Safeway when a white kid who is in his early twenties walks by. 

Noticing a lone desi standing there with the deer in the headlights look, he asks "Sir, may I be of assistance?"

Me : My daughters want me to pick up a sulfate free shampoo!

dude : Sir, all these shampoos are sulfate free. 

Me : which one would you recommend?

Might have as well walked into a Taco Bell and asked for a recommendation on "which healthy item do you recommend on the menu ?" but here we were.. 

He says "shikai shampoo is our favorite. strongly recommend it"

Me : did I hear that right? did you say "shikai" ? 

dude : Yes sir .. (and walks away)

As a kid growing up in India, there was no Western "shampoos" in the market. We had three soaps going in rotation in our house at least till I was in 4th grade. The all purpose Hamam, the occasional Margo Neem and the even rarer Mysore Sandal soap when my dad would get it. The only two other soaps we knew of was Lifeboy from advertisements, Cinthol Lime (thanks to the lady taking bath in a waterfall that created lot of hoopla which I never understood as a kid) and Pear (the transparent soap bar). There was a soaplosion when I was in middle school with Lux etc. making it to everyone's home. 

As for shampoo, there was none! My grandmother would buy Shikakai pods and dry them in the terrace, then go take them to a local Mill and grind into a powder with some other dried herbs. Then this powder would be divvied up by all the families on my maternal side. That powder WAS our shampoo. We used it for oil baths as well. Given Indian ladies grow their hair long as a default compared to most other demographics, they have been using this for thousands of years! 

None of the kids liked the shikai powder bath because of the fear of getting the powder in our eyes, which would sting and would happen more often than you would think. My brother who had a special ability to shut his eyes tight during an entire bathing session liked it because he would come out unscathed after my mom would take us both for a joint bath session while I came out with blood shot eyes.

It was a rude shock to me that Shikai is now a shampoo at Whole foods at $6.99 a bottle!

The kids were happy and I am yet to try this shampoo. Guessing that this is now patented by some US company and before you know it all the Shikai trees in India will start belonging to a Whole Foods subsidiary.

Funny thing is the Shampoo has coconut oil and Shikai. We used to first apply oil on our hair, let it sit for some time then use shikai powder to wash it off.

Guess my kids get to experience this one way or another! Very happy for them. Don't know if these days the working desi mom probably has time to dry Shikakai on the terrace and take it to a mill. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise or a curse...

Just a question of time before my mom in India will get to use Shikai on her hair only in shampoo form at $6.99 a bottle. 

Next time my mother asks me on the phone "Ennai thechchu kulichchiyaa?" (did you have an oil bath?) going to look at this bottle and say "Yes!"

Out of time, out of place

Conversation with Jr. while driving her back from class

Me: did you know that your cousins and uncle went to a high school football game ? Apparently it is called a .. 

Jr. : Homecoming game.. I know. Do you know why it is called a homecoming game?

Me: No. 

Jr. : (starts explaining something about games, winning, losing, parties, etc. etc.) and sees my eyes glaze over in the rear view mirror and asks "do you know what a homecoming is?"

Me : No.

Jr. : didn't you have any school rivalries when you went to school?

Me: No.

Jr. : Didn't you have homecoming games?

Me: No.

Jr. : thinks for a second and goes "okay. let's start with the basics. Did you go to high school?! "

Next time I have to start steering the conversation in a different direction.

The "Vrath"

The last 7 days was a self imposed ban on all news feeds. Don't want to say "internet" because I still had to work. There was no listening to the radio, no watching TV programs, no facebook, twitter, amazon, youtube.. nothing. 

Started is last Thursday and went back to the internet this afternoon. It was an interesting experience for so many reasons.

First, did not know I was this addicted to my phone. How it got to this point over time is beyond me. The first two days, there were severe withdrawal symptoms. You see the damn icons on the phone and you have to resist the temptation to click it. It was a lot more difficult than originally anticipated.

Second, I have been shutting out the outside world thanks to this addiction without even realizing it. On Friday morning drove to work without turning on the radio. It was so intense to sit in the silence of the car and hearing the occasional sound that would reach through the closed windows. It was eerie because it was not the "usual".

At lunchtime, I had to look at the food, savor it and eat it. It got to me. So I went and sat with a bunch of colleagues and ate lunch with them for a change. Usually I eat lunch in my office and read the news and the food doesn't go in well as most of the news is negative. Enjoy my lunches now as the smiles of coworkers! For someone who was a very social person, this is a shock.

Later in the week, got to watch Jr. practice saxophone and the little one practice her violin. Instead of listening to them while simultaneously fiddling with my phone, it was an interactive practice. They were amazed that I was actually noticing things all this time inspite of fiddling with the phone. I was surprised by that too.

Every night we watch either "baby photos" or two 5 minute clips of  "How its made"  where the kids pick the item being made. We skipped it because of the Vrath (Vratham as it is referred to in Tamil.. aka Fasting). The one week without internet-news thing was given the name Vrath.. as daddy was "fasting" from the internet of sorts. The kids thought I could have made an exception there, but I didn't want to do it. One minute you are watching "how its made" and next thing you know.. there is something about Syria and the congress clowns that takes your blood pressure through the roof. So stayed clear to maintain the promise.

Finally, when I got back to the news today, it was like nothing had changed. India still looks like it is turning into Sierra Leone from the blood diamond days with a rise in child warriors, politics is still the same, people still talking and arguing about guns, abortions, gay rights, expensive medicines, etc. etc. Given all that, the last week of abstaining from news somehow made me numb to this today. Looked at it for a second and just closed it. Now that there is a realization that none of this matters, just simply closed it and moved on. It sounds simple but it is not easy. I could not do this before. Maybe something was or is still wrong with me, but it took this trial to let things go, news wise. 

The FB feed and twitter feed were a similar story. I did watch a few clips from the daily show in the last hour and laughed.. but that is twisted in its own way. Initially you laugh and later it gets to you. The daily show is like eating my grandma's vaththa kozhambu. When you mix it with rice and taste it, it is divine, but once it reaches your intestines, no amount of buttermilk is going to calm your ass for what is to come. Once in a while she has tricked me with that. Yet again, I digress. 

Starting today, excluding Netflix watching, there will be 1 hour maximum of internet a day and this will not be at lunch time either. It will be after kids go to bed. Deleting all social network apps on the phone as well. 

For someone who does Yoga every chance he gets, I have been feeding my mind crap all this time, outside the yoga room. It is not okay to eat healthy and do yoga and go back to feeding the head with all the negativity, thanks to the phone and internet. Need more positive things in life.. 

Wish me luck!