Competing for eyeball time

It is not just the Googles, Facebook's and Amazon's that are basing their business on trying to get a share of our viewing times.

Every precious nano second where your eyes are target towards any screen, now count for real $. 

So much that there are technologies out there that actually read your cell phones vibration (from the gyro) and tell the source of what you are looking at, data about how long you looked at it, glanced at it, or just plain skipped through it.. all this from how you held your phone or iPad while viewing a page!

That is not where it stops. We like in a world where our kids are labeled "post-google" which means they grew up with the internet. So this stuff rolls over.

Three weeks ago, I had a picture of the little one as my screen saver. 

Last week Jr. comes to me in the evening, snaps her hands in front of my face and says 

"booyaah! There, I now have proof!"

Me: Please stop with this booyaah agressiveness. I dont know what it means. What proof do you have of what?

Jr. : I have more proof that you love her (little one) more than you love me!

Me : It does not matter how much proof you think you have. I KNOW that I love you both the same.

Jr. : She was on your screen saver for two weeks. Then you knew I realized it and changed your screen saver to my picture and it was not even a pretty picture. That too I was on it for 2 days. now it is a picture of both of us and she says she is cuter in that picture than me! so there you go.. Booyah! 

Me : !!!!!

Now we need a software that does facial recognition and devotes equal screensaver time for the two kids. Added plus if the kids can rate your screensaver, let you know how cute they think they look in those pictures etc. etc.

We live in a world where things are measured like never before! There is more data being collected than can be analyzed with any reasonable value. 

In case you are wondering, here are the pictures of Jr. and the final joint picture where LO is supposedly cuter..

Go figure!

Now don't get me started on the Chromecast screensaver that runs on the big screen TV in the living room... 

Just saying..

Daddy had just come back from yoga class, showered and was trying to get into equilibrium on the couch.

Mommy and the kids were watching some Tamil TV channel and a conversation started about an exercise class that mommy attended recently

LO : so what is so hard about this exercise you did?

Mommy : I had to sit down on the floor and move my hands to the other side while sitting.. (makes gestures on couch)

Jr. (gets down on carpet) : Tell me what it is.. I can see how hard it is

Mommy describes the move and Jr. does it and goes "that is easy"

Mommy : That is not easy when you have to do it many times and fast!

Then the little one chimes in with 

Amma, you are "Oh - El - Dee" and she is "why -oh - you - en- gee" ! Of course it is easy for her and difficult for you. 

Unfortunately I was deep in the corner of the couch and unable to escape immediately. thinking that any global catastrophy would be more welcome than what was about to follow in the next few minutes, I quietly slinked back deeper into the couch and opened my laptop to shield any direct eye contact with other house inmates and mom takes it in for a full second and says 

"unakku evvalo thimiru dee?" (which crudely translates to "how dare you" *10^27  with a wind chill factor given the look on mom's eyes) and the litle one calmly goes 

"What ? That is why I didn't SAY it. Didn't you see how I spelled it out so I didn't say it?!"

Somewhere something snapped and we all burst out laughing and we have lived to see another day!

Yeah, there is an App for that! Is there?!

The girls are glued to the i-devices every chance they get.

When daddy travels, they get the devices back.. think of it as a grown up girls pacifier of sorts. Something to keep them from creating new issues for mom who has way too much to juggle!

Issue is, when daddy comes back, they don't even bother to look up from their screens.

Sometimes we have to call their names a dozen times from the kitchen to just get a response or acknowledgement!

What if there was an app that you could run from your iPhone and have that as the master device and every other idevice designated as a slave device? 

When the kids are "engrossed" and have literally gone inside the screen, we send an interrupt which will stop everything they are doing and broadcast the parents via video to their screen so we can scream at them live?!

When the little one was pitched with this idea, her response?

"if you do that, I will press the home button, cancel out that app and do something else which does not involve the ipad!"

My response ?

"Great! then the app worked! now that you are out of the iPad you WILL hear me call your name and most likely show up to the kitchen!"

Daddy 1: LO  0 

These moments where my logic wins over are few and far between these days.. today I am savoring this till it lasts.

Someone should make an app like that, if there isn't already one. If you know of such an app, do let me know!