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Fasting is good

Every now and then fasting is a good thing. Helps your system reset. For some reason, fasting is more of a regular things with women in my life than the men. Mom, sister, wife, MIL all fast every now and then on a Friday or Saturday on some pretext (god's name) or other. Sometimes it is a full blown water only fast. Other times it is a liquid diet only and sometimes it is a "no tamarind, lime, etc.. sour or tangy"  fast. My dad's idea of fasting was skipping Saturday night dinner and no one in our house pushed me or my brohter to do any fasting. 

While fasting w.r.t. food is a good thing, that has been proven by eastern and western medicine and science, fasting with respect to external information is a very very good thing! Just went through that experience recently.

Three plus weeks ago, on an evening, I went through my Facebook feed, Twitter feed, Linkedin feed, google news feed and they all ended up depressing me thoroughly. There were mergers in the semiconductor industry that were unparalleled and folks were ending without jobs (this is Deja vu for me and it seems to have something to do with the election cycle for sure. Third time I am seeing this correlation), there were folks in south India fighting over a water dispute, there was US election politics and the ads in social media that just made me want to go throw up(I totally sympathize with swing state voters and what they go through), not to mention that work was tough as it is and we were going through what was probably the toughest phase of a remodeling at home. 

After some interesting feedback from my wife and kids, just decided to do the following :

- delete the folder called "social" in my iPhone (which meant no FB, twitter, linkedin, etc. )

- delete safari from my home screen in the Mac. So there was no internet searching, no news, nothing, no late night comedy shows watched the next day, nothing.

- there is no TV at home anyways, so that was automatically taken care of

- the radio was turned off in the car while I was in the car, no exceptions

This in itself was an interesting experience. The first two days, you instinctively search for that folder when sitting in the restroom at work or home, come home and try to check some cricket score, look for that FB feed... but with some training, you get past it after day 3 and stop looking. 

San and the kids were right. I spend a lot more time with them, have meaningful conversations without distractions (they are the ones more distracted now), had fights with them which I actually won! (doesn't happen), laughed a lot, lived a lot better in short!

Then just before the Asia trip, went to check the feed, just to make sure there were no world events in that part of the world that would affect me and sure enough there was a Typhoon going through on our flight path on the way back.  The fact that social media I am used to are all blocked helped continue the fasting!

During that 2 hours spent after a 10 day break, realized that nothing is really changing. Same news feed. Same negativity overwhelming the positive.

The only postivie things were : nice photos of dancing ladies, landscapes and puppies from three of my friends, posts of my friends improving on their yoga experience in and out of the hot room (either smiling faces or faces that could bore a hole right through you with their intensity!)  and the snaps of friends who posted things about their kids doing stuff!

The rest of the feed was a bottomless abyss which drowned out the positives. 

That made me want to do two things. Find a way to filter the things I didn't want to see (it is out there and we should know it is out there, but there is no need to over dose on it), or continue the media fasting indefinitely.

Two days ago, I had an interesting conversation with my yoga teacher and I realized again that it is good to have conversations, it is good to meet new people, interact. Just pick the people and the interaction and it will be okay. 

Now that there is a better system in place, will start writing again. Putting thoughts on screen (paper is better) is a good way to discharge some circuits in your head. A media fast and regular yoga, that is like a shutdown and reboot.. 

Let's see how Sundar 2.0 does in the coming months!

When a 20 year old white kid reminds me of my mom..

You know it is a "twilight zone" moment when a 20 year old white kid reminds you of your very Indian mother.

Was asked to go pick up a few items from the local Whole Foods store.

My daughters tell me on the way out : "can you get us shampoo while you are there?"

Me: Whole foods purchases for Organic stuff I understand.. you want Organic Shampoo? you don't eat shampoo! Just get the usual Dove, etc. stuff that you get from Safeway. 

Little one : Daddy, those shampoos have sulfates. You need to get us shampoo without sulfates!

Jr. chimes in : Yeah Appa. Sulfates are apparently bad. Whole foods sells sulfate free shampoo. can you get us one please?

I was about to launch into a long monologue on "do you know what sulfates are? etc. etc. " and given my time crunch said "fine. whatever. will see if I can pick it up"

So off I go. Finish the shopping list and am standing in the aisle in Whole Foods that says "shampoo" with total disbelief that there is a whole aisle for shampoo larger than the one at Safeway when a white kid who is in his early twenties walks by. 

Noticing a lone desi standing there with the deer in the headlights look, he asks "Sir, may I be of assistance?"

Me : My daughters want me to pick up a sulfate free shampoo!

dude : Sir, all these shampoos are sulfate free. 

Me : which one would you recommend?

Might have as well walked into a Taco Bell and asked for a recommendation on "which healthy item do you recommend on the menu ?" but here we were.. 

He says "shikai shampoo is our favorite. strongly recommend it"

Me : did I hear that right? did you say "shikai" ? 

dude : Yes sir .. (and walks away)

As a kid growing up in India, there was no Western "shampoos" in the market. We had three soaps going in rotation in our house at least till I was in 4th grade. The all purpose Hamam, the occasional Margo Neem and the even rarer Mysore Sandal soap when my dad would get it. The only two other soaps we knew of was Lifeboy from advertisements, Cinthol Lime (thanks to the lady taking bath in a waterfall that created lot of hoopla which I never understood as a kid) and Pear (the transparent soap bar). There was a soaplosion when I was in middle school with Lux etc. making it to everyone's home. 

As for shampoo, there was none! My grandmother would buy Shikakai pods and dry them in the terrace, then go take them to a local Mill and grind into a powder with some other dried herbs. Then this powder would be divvied up by all the families on my maternal side. That powder WAS our shampoo. We used it for oil baths as well. Given Indian ladies grow their hair long as a default compared to most other demographics, they have been using this for thousands of years! 

None of the kids liked the shikai powder bath because of the fear of getting the powder in our eyes, which would sting and would happen more often than you would think. My brother who had a special ability to shut his eyes tight during an entire bathing session liked it because he would come out unscathed after my mom would take us both for a joint bath session while I came out with blood shot eyes.

It was a rude shock to me that Shikai is now a shampoo at Whole foods at $6.99 a bottle!

The kids were happy and I am yet to try this shampoo. Guessing that this is now patented by some US company and before you know it all the Shikai trees in India will start belonging to a Whole Foods subsidiary.

Funny thing is the Shampoo has coconut oil and Shikai. We used to first apply oil on our hair, let it sit for some time then use shikai powder to wash it off.

Guess my kids get to experience this one way or another! Very happy for them. Don't know if these days the working desi mom probably has time to dry Shikakai on the terrace and take it to a mill. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise or a curse...

Just a question of time before my mom in India will get to use Shikai on her hair only in shampoo form at $6.99 a bottle. 

Next time my mother asks me on the phone "Ennai thechchu kulichchiyaa?" (did you have an oil bath?) going to look at this bottle and say "Yes!"

Out of time, out of place

Conversation with Jr. while driving her back from class

Me: did you know that your cousins and uncle went to a high school football game ? Apparently it is called a .. 

Jr. : Homecoming game.. I know. Do you know why it is called a homecoming game?

Me: No. 

Jr. : (starts explaining something about games, winning, losing, parties, etc. etc.) and sees my eyes glaze over in the rear view mirror and asks "do you know what a homecoming is?"

Me : No.

Jr. : didn't you have any school rivalries when you went to school?

Me: No.

Jr. : Didn't you have homecoming games?

Me: No.

Jr. : thinks for a second and goes "okay. let's start with the basics. Did you go to high school?! "

Next time I have to start steering the conversation in a different direction.