India

Ancestor feeding..

One thing I always look forward to in Chennai is feeding the crows before we start eating. It is not enough to put the food out on the ledge.. you call out to them and wait to see them eat and then you eat.

The crows are considered as the spirit of our ancestors.. or so they tell me. Given my ancestors were all vegetarian and these crows aren't I would not take it literally. It is a beautiful concept though.. keep the scavenger birds around you well fed.. 

All said and done, I am happy we are still feeding crows. 

you can hear a bunch of kids talking in an American accent in the background.. this custom is definitely lost in our family after the current generation.

There are a lot of traditions. If we go into why they were setup and adapt them to today, there is no problem in accepting the simplicity of it or beauty of it. The issue is taking it literally and going all or nothing on these customs. 

There were lots of philosophical debates on customs, traditions in 48 hours spent in last trip than all previous trips put together. We kept it short and sweet. These discussions never end well for anyone. 

The crows are dwindling given the hot weather and water scarcity. Based on my limited sampling that is the conclusion. Not sure if the bird statisticians concur. Hope these crows migrate to another area and where they do, they find people who treat them as their ancestors and feed them every morning. 

They are on time, every time! 

Destiny..elephants.. memories..

San has successfully managed me for 20 years now! A milestone that I am extremely grateful to pass. The kids who always take my side, finally acknowledged "yeah. you are not an easy guy to deal with. you are very complicated. so amma did do well to handle you for 20 years". 

They are her toughest and biased critics and this came from them.. 

Was still under travel pressure, so we just kept it simple this time. Lunch at Chaat House as usual for our anniversary (this time with my in laws) and a visit to the local temple to say thanks. There was no ice cream at Ghirardelis.. 

We also ended up on a whirlwind India trip for 5 days. This time to do a Sadhabishegam function for my dad and mom. Have written a recent post on this..

My dad's 1000'th moon happens in early December and technically (the sankara sastri in me rears his ugly head again).. we should have celebrated this next February. Then there are astrologers, older people, fuzzy logic, health concerns etc.. and the quantum computing ended up with last week as the "last Revathy birth star of the first half of the year where the earth moves northwards (between Jan14th and July 14th)".. If your head is spinning faster than the earth after reading that, you are in good shape. Like they say in Yoga class "it is normal to feel dizzy after that!". 

It was hectic for us, as Jr. is going to Senior year in high school and we have a packed agenda. We did go as a family and celebrate the event. It went better than expected, given my dad was in diapers three months ago when I went for a 5 day visit. His parkinsons is under control, but he had a fall and was recovering from it. Looks like he is back to where he was before his fall. 

We literally entered the house at 5AM and the function started at 6:30AM.  Chennai was going through a water crisis. So there was the waiting for water truck on some days. It was also the first time we stayed in a hotel in Chennai. Hotels have water and star hotels definitely have water. That was a good decision to move to a hotel.

Two days for the function, two days for rest and we flew back on day 5!

In those two so called "rest days" we managed to

- go meet my grandma (who could not make it to the function)

- meet San's grandma

- eat out in three places

- visit Kabali temple and

- do a quick round of shopping in old Cupertino/ Old Fremont..

sorry.. Mylapore and Mambalam.. I have to write a separate post on why folks who are in Mylapore side end up in Cupertino and Mambalam side end up in Fremont.. the statistics are interesting.. think BART and Station road might have something to do with it..

where were we? Yes.. quick visits on two "rest" days.

We visited Kabali temple .. the place where San and me met for the first time..a place where "our fates changed" in San's words.

The kids went to the elephants and quickly realized that the elephants were sitting in the sun all morning and were at 41 C. One quickly jumped off and the other managed a smile knowing she had already done the damage..

Don't how many kids have sat on these elephants and had fun over the last centuries.. 

We also walked through one of my favorite places in the temple where they keep the cows and peacocks.. Didn't not spot any peacocks this time but this little calf came and was all over me.. kissing me and wanting to play with me. Brought back so many memories.. 

As usual I am now down with a cold virus from the flight.. so taking it easy and resting as much as I can for the long weekend.

My one achievement for the trip was to take a family group picture of my parents with all their kids and families. This group has never been together under one roof ever.. this was the first time. Hopefully it will be repeated many more times.. Have waited a long time to take this picture!

Will have more pictures to edit and share soon. This trip was only 5 days and 20k miles but felt like we went to the moon and back and over decades of time in memories..

You will be fine!

It has been 6 weeks since I stopped drinking water during Yoga class. When I started to give up water during class, thought that it was going to be incredibly difficult.

Over the last few weeks (did miss two weeks during travel) always thought that there will be that "one class" which would get me to run back to that water fountain outside the class. So far, so good.

Think my mind knows now that as long as there was a glass of water 30 minutes before class, everything will be fine a good 30 minutes after class is over. Like Mary Jarvis had predicted on the 18th of March..... "you will not die if you stop drinking water during class. you will be fine!"

This is like starting to drive a battery car for the first time. Initially you have range anxiety. You are not sure if you can go to a place and get back. There is always some variability on the mileage depending on how fast or slow you go locally, which in the Yoga room is equivalent to not giving every pose a 100% in a stupid attempt to "conserve sweating" which is actually counter productive. You know there is no "nearest gas tank" where you can fill up and continue on a battery car.. Eventually when you get the hang of the routes you travel and know your speed, you stop having range anxiety. You know you will be fine. 

What is the worse that can happen? you stop on the side of the road and have to call AAA? You are exhausted on the yoga mat and the teacher has to drag you out by your feet? (well, that has not happened to me yet... but a teacher did joke to a first timer that they should always have their feet towards the door during class and when asked why, replied "that is in case you die here and we have to drag your body out. it is easier feet first towards the door"... the teacher said it with a straight face and everyone burst out laughing)

It has been an interesting month. Two weeks in Asia. First week on business trip, followed by a quick Chennai visit for my nephews "upananayanam" or "Janeu" ceremony. It was a great experience. I was the only one representing the four of us. My sister came as well and after four years my parents got to be in the same roof with all three kids even if it was only for three days. 


My sister and me with parents, while my brother is performing the ceremony on stage in the background. The photo of the five of us was not taken on my camera! So I have to wait for it...

Did manage to take a shot of my mom with all her siblings. The last time I managed that shot was in 2005 when my Grandfather got married to my grandma all over again at the age of 80!

13 years later my uncle has lost a lot of weight and looks like a concentration camp survivor and my mom and aunts have all put on weight and have some kind of health issue or another. They are all smiling and going about their lives and while that makes me happy, wish they would all take up some form of regular exercise. Was giving them the "never too late, never too old, never too sick..." spiel but it did not go very well. 

My grandma is still around and tack sharp!

As soon as I got back home, San and the little one went to India to represent the family at her cousins wedding. There was  no time to catch up on social media or do anything other than manage to go through the routine while getting over jet lag. Made it to Yoga almost every night after coming back, even if it meant going very late in the night. Hats off to all those single parents who come to Yoga class. Now I know why they pick the late night class. 

We had a lot of discussion during the India trip on the impact of my deciding to settle in the US, how time and space can be hard barriers, but how family still holds together thanks to culture and tradition etc. The thread ceremony marks a boy's commitment to learning the scriptures. My brother and myself had our ceremony at the same time and it was a big experience for me. Somehow the meaning of the word "responsibility" came into consciousness after that ceremony. Till then I was happy playing cricket with the boys and I-spy with the boys and girls in Sambandham street without any awareness of the fact that I was not going to be a kid forever. Glad there was a ceremony like that to slap you into life!

There is no such thing for girls and my mother was telling me that the next big function for me was Jr's wedding...

It was great to watch my nephew go through this experience and suddenly tansform into a big boy and start to learn.. with the Gayathri mantra! He has excellent pronunciation and hopefully he gets to improve his memory by reciting things by heart over time. If he keeps up the breathing exercise that is half the yoga done already!

Clicked this one right at the end of the function. The Narayanan family has successfully passed on a male tradition to the next generation! Looks like the boy has the weight of the world on his shoulders and he might as well have. Passing on a quest for learning and questioning and understandign go a long way to the betterment of the world. The most important thing one needs to learn is "how to learn". Everything follows.

Next will be time to pass on female traditions a few years from now..

I had an amazing time paticipating in a function after so many years in India, taking pictures, chatting with relatives, catching up, and most importantly playing with my nephew and niece. 

Instagram filters were a big hit with my niece.. every 10 minutes she would come to me and go "Periappa, doggie ears photo pannalamaa?"  Think we exhausted every filter..

During the INdia trip, I avoided a lot of things that are usual. Said no to "ghee" for the most part, restricted myself to "small portions" of food (as small as my mom would allow) and avoiding a lot of fried stuff. That actually made life easier after coming back. 

All said and done "I am fine!" as is the family.