The "Thank you" tour

Had called to wish my dad on new years eve. He was almost 85 and in diapers and he was not liking his quality of life. That is to put it mildly. He wanted to see me. Having gone to India every three months the previous year on business trips and having spent at least a weekend with him on those trips made it appear that we were meeting "regularly". 

Since last June my roles changed and India trips were not on the agenda. So it was understanable my dad felt that way. Also my mom reminded me that there were some "vendudhals" that were not done. The family astrologer had requested that we (San and me) go together to visit the family deity in Gunaseelam soon. San and me haven't been to India together since 2019! So we decided to do a bunch of things all at once and on an impulse bought short notice tickets to fly to India for two weeks. 

Given the girls are both in college we picked a time when they will be busy with classes, to go to India. 14 days from start to finish, 3 days for the US to India travel and back.. do as much as possible in 11 days within India! 

We are coming up on our 25th wedding anniversary in 3 months. We wanted to get blessings from my parents, inlaws, family, all the gods we know and all the gods we don't know and any higher powers that be on this trip. We are not Ambanis, but think of this as our pre-anniversary celebration! 

It is a miracle that we did everything we wanted to and made it back without any sickness.  Will blog about this trip over next few weeks. Thanked the gods in every temple we visited, for giving me San in this life.

If my life had a jingle it will be "Sundar, brought to you by Sangeetha!". Somehow this girl I had just met, took a huge chance on me knowing I was a basketcase, and decided to make something of a life for both of us.

Did pray for all my family and friends as well, every chance I got. 

Jr. called me to say "don't over pray or the gods will get bored!".  That didn't stop me!

Jotting down our trip stops in this post, as a memory marker to write subsequent posts.. Eventually will link all of them here.. 

Day 1 (in India) : Land in Mumbai and within 3 hours visit Mahalakshmi, Siddhi Vinayak

Day 2: Chedda Nagar Murugan temple Abhishegam (highlight 1)

Day 3: spent shopping and eating out!

Day 4: fly to Chennai

Day 5: Kapaleeshwar temple, valeeswarar, Saradhambal temple, Vembadi vinayagar

Day 6 : train to Rameshwaram

Day 7: Ramanadhaswamy temple and bath in the 22 wells (trip highlight 2), Ramar padam, Panchamukha Hanuman temple, Lakshmana theertham, Thiruppulaani, Uttarakosamangai and off to Madurai

Day 8: Meenakshi Amman temple, Koodal Azhagar, Noopura gangai, Pazhamudhir Solai temple, Kalazhaghar, Thiruparangundram, Thiruperundhurai Aavudaiyaar kovil, Pudukkottai Bhuvaneshwari amman temple and off to Trichy

Day 9: Sreeranganathar, Jambulingeshwarar, Gunaseelam Perumal (this was the 3rd and biggest trip highlight), Thirupaanjali Siva-Yaman temple, Thiruvellarai temple, Uttamar kovil and off to Tanjore with a stop at the Palace museum and Brighadeeswara temple (Tanjavoor Periya kovil) and off by train to Thrissur

Day 10 : Vadakkumnathan temple, Thiruvambady Krishna temple, then to Guruvayoor temple, Maamiyur Shiva Vishnu temple then drive to Cochin and fly back to Mumbai

Day 11 : Santoshi Maa temple in Chembur and a movie with San in the evening (Fighter.. meh!)

Day 12 : Juma Hanuman temple, Saradhambaal temple, Lakshmi Narasimhar temple (Ahobila mutt's) all in Chembur followed by two back to back movies (my in-laws live right next to a movie theater complex.. we can walk down and it is there!! and the theaters are mostly empty!).. DUNE 2 and Laapata Ladies which we loved.

Day 13 : pack and Visit Jio world Plaza and take off early the following morning from Mumbai to SFO with a layover in BLR

Hopefully have mentioned all the major places where we stopped. 

We fell at my parents feet for blessings and my dad who seems to be floating in space and time and he blessed us saying "now that you are married, may you have a child.. a boy!". My mom smiled and said "let it go".. she knows my take on the "boy child" blessing. I usually burn people to ashes (or try to) with my gaze when folks in India make this an issue with not having boys.  My dad is past all that. So it was easy to let it go. All that yoga has really helped. We made it to see him, even if for a few hours to wish him for his 85th birthday. It was a short and sweet flying visit. 

Grateful to all the higher powers for giving us two wonderful kids and did make it a point to say thanks. 

We do not know when we will visit India.. it might not happen anytime soon given work trajectories and kids getting busier in college. 

There is a saying "you don't get to see god when you want to.. you get to see them if they want to see you!" 

If I had to look for a highlight photo of this trip.. this is it.. Photo on the left is the first ever portrait we took together at a JC Penny a few months after we were married. Photo on right taken by San's mama at Murugan temple in Mumbai.. San gets prettier by the day (she wore the same Sari after ~25 years to make the point)

There are almost 1400 photos and videos in total to cull through and write about. For once I did't even take my SLR on the trip. Everything on the iPhone where photos were allowed.  Will get to it..

Happy Ganesh Chaturthi

A nice Indian festival to celebrate Ganesha falls on a working day.. a Monday!

Between jugging a car that has to be serviced and work and doing a pooja, Ganesha, the lord of removing obstacles, removed them all one after another. 

San made limited edition (read limited quantity) of Kozhukkattai samples and vadai and they were (it is already in the past tense) amazing. 

Usually I send selfies to my mom after any Indian festival. This time, posting it in the blog.. because as you can all tell, there is not much hair left.

Between last year and this year, hair loss has been exponential. Folks who have not seen me post anything in months should not be surprised...

Both photos clicked by San.. last year I looked up.. this year didn't even know she was taking a picture. Was just trying to finish the pooja in time so the kids are not hungry. It was good to have both kids home this time to eat dumplings! 

Wishing you all a wonderful {Ganesh, Vinayakar, Pillaiyaar} Chaturthi from all of us here! 

Prayer

The little one was feeling a little off tonight before going to bed..

San said "un kanne patturukkum.." (your eyes need to be warded off).

So she decided to do a little "drishti" thing. For non South Indians, this is a thing that parents teach you to ward off evil spirits and eyes by doing an "aarti" for the little kids. Think this helps the parents convince themselves that they have done something to cover the unknown more than it really helps the kids. (Persian friends tell me that they do something similar by burning incense and saying "insallah" three times).

Before she did this San told the kids "please pray to god to make sure you listen to parents, do well in school, not fall sick and be healthy, etc. " a

and the little one closes her eyes and goes "Ummachi, please make sure Daddy does not get any more big boo boos."

That was the sum total of her prayer. Now we have to do a Drishti for the Drishti. The little one knows how to get me all teary eyed.

Kids, what can we tell you?

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From one thread to another..

Ones commitment to learning may be directly measured by ones receding hairline and loss of hair density.

You live, you learn. You learn more, you live less?

There has been a lot of learning on the personal and professional front in the last year. At least that is the annual Avani-avittam report!

Granted the regular sandhyavandanam is restricted to twice a month, plus some days when I feel like it and it is done in the bathroom for the most part, but the avani-avittam thread changing is always done.

Reminds you of good things from the past, and somehow deep down tells you that as long as you keep the learning process alive, all will be well. This ceremony always brings about mixed feelings. It becomes a once a year atonement event, but one has to look past feeling bad for not doing rituals and prayers everyday and go with "work is worship" and "worship is just more worship"!

Vedic learning is not going to feed the kids and it is a given that the concepts have to be fit to context.

My only take on the "being a brahmin" part is somehow we were taught that "knowledge is power". It is very much possible that this is an over simplified myopic filtered view of the caste system scaling down to affect me as to who I am....and this is not the first time this is being said in this blog. At least that view has remained consistent over four plus years of blogging..

In my understanding of 7th grade history of India, we were taught that there were four classes of people who had different interpretations of power and their roles in the world. They were valued in society for their quest for

a. knowledge
b. power, control, territory
c. money and all things material
d. a daily paycheck

Roughly translated for today's urbanite, you would aspire to be CTO, CEO, CFO or a dude doing the actual execution of work... today you can beat the system and be anything you want to be, as long as you don't get stereotyped!

Considering my parents were not well to do and the only thing they pushed me to do was to get grades and their biggest achievement (prior to their getting me married to their top seed pick aka San) was performing our Upanayanam ceremony in a grand way, the choice was very clear. Study and you will get somewhere in life and be valued for something.

That has been sent into deep permanent memory somewhere. So this year the commitment to learning has been extended by another year.

As usual, some pictures..

The little one was slightly upset that there was no "bell ringing" involved in today's occasion, but was consoled once she saw the good eats.

It was just daddy doing prayers and everyone getting to eat vadai, paayasam and sweet poli.

The paayasam was very very yummy and this post ends on that note..and we go eat some more paayasam.

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Watch your feet

You are busy clicking away on your camera, worried that the approaching chariot might run over and your zoom may not be enough to save you and your mom lets out a yelp "watch out!"

You take your eye away from the viewfinder and look down to see a dude rolling on the floor, sorry, rolling on the road.

You missed stepping on him narrowly. The camera doesn't do as good a job of absorbing him as his body is absorbing the dirt on the road.

"Is he a beggar?" was the obvious question.

"Edhavadhu Vendudhalaa irukkum da!" comes the reply.

By that she meant "he must have prayed to some god that he will roll on the road during a temple festival, collect money and then go donate it to the god!"

The sucker for technicality in me immediately responds "His chances of getting money are better if he is at eye level with the people, no?" and mom just moves on. Her face seems to say "to each, his own" and I meekly follow her.

From that point on, started watching my feet after every shot.

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