The day after...

This year saw another 60 day challenge at BYSJ and I did finish it. There was a time when odds of finishing the challenge looked bleak. There was an international business trip for a week, then San went to India and was gone for 10 days and there were days with meetings in the morning, noon and night that made it very difficult to wake up before 5AM and go to class. 

There were a lot of doubles over weekends that enabled the count. A nerd has to do his nerduty! So here is a typical 60 day challenge in our house.. (you have to click to see the comment clouds)

It almost always has the same highlights as far as our reactions. This year started with me picking an "angel card" at BYSJ. It said ..

Harmony gave me some thought. The idea is to remember this word and try to think of this word when you are in tricky situations, before walking into the yoga room, and keep it in your mind for the entire year and see if it makes a difference in your life. 

A few days after picking the card, made it a minute before class started. I always make sure that people behind me can see at least a sliver of themselves in the mirror. This time given I was going in front of folks, looked back at the lady in the last row and she gave me a thumbs up. A yoga mat is still 2 feet wide and one can move within the mat to accomodate and I was constantly making an effort to be on mat's edge. At the end of the class another woman comes up to me and says "you should not do that. even if she says she is okay with it, you need to give her more room".. or something to that effect. For a second, I was going to tell her all about my mat edge exercise and how the woman got a lot more than a sliver etc. etc. Then I remembered "Harmony"! So I said "thank you" and came out with a win-win feeling. The harmony thing works at home in a lot more situations with the wife, but not with the kids and it definitely does wonders at work. I have significantly curbed my urge to do bad things to some of my colleagues. 

There are many things I learned during this challenge, thanks to my teachers and friends who pushed me and taught me things that go beyond the poses. During my "I am not sure if I can keep going through with this phase", one of my teachers comes up to me while I am breathing and touched the place where my stomach starts and says "tuck your tummy in". After class I tried to correct him by saying "this... is my tummy!" and he laughed. He said "no my friend. you need to tuck here!".  

A picture is worth a 1000 words.. this one is worth a 1000 classes.

Yes. After making it into that hot room for more than a 1000 classes, I was working hard and sucking up my gut.. but not in the right place! The next 10 days was a real struggle to "undo things in Live mode" in every class. It is incredibly hard to breathe when you pull that part in, once you figure out how to do it in the first place!

My best poses became non-existant and some other poses became a revelation. A lot of my teachers were wondering "what is up with this guy. He is in the first row and struggling". I wanted to move back to the last row just like in my beginner days and slowly move back up to the front, but my teacher said "No. That would be a bad move. Stay in front of the mirror and do your best!". So stay I did and watched in agony as I failed and failed for almost two weeks. Then I got it!  Maybe I did not have certain muscles to do it earlier and they developed in two weeks.. who knows! That was the big revelation over this challenge.

There were many things that kept me going during that phase in the hot room. A 74 year old wheel chair bound grandma with Parkinsons, started coming to class. At first she was outside the room, then she was wheeled inside the room for the first half of class, soon she made it 90 minutes in the chair, then she started bending her hands down while in the chair, and after 30 days she was able to stand up and hold the wall and try poses.. now she walks! The support she got from her son, family and teachers was incredible. There were so many times the entire class clapped and cheered when she did what we all thought was impossible!

Yet another miracle, right in front of our eyes. Every day I see that grandma, I wish my grandma or my mom could have come to the hot room instead of undergoing surgery after surgery for replacing joints! If DNA that I have inherited is any indication, chances are my knees and hips are going to give out a lot earlier than the average person and I might get the shakes like my dad. My sincere hope is that doing yoga will postpone the inevitable.. 

The last thing about any challenge is to go do Yoga outside the room. When I packed my mat on day 61, my wife and kids were saying "What?! we just let you go 60 days and accomodated you a lot and cheered you. Can you take a break now. Why do you want to go today?"

My response was "do you see the guy who runs the 5000 meter race in the Olympics? after he wins and crosses the finish line, someone hands him a flag and he keeps running another two laps with the flag, all happy and smiling! he is not going as fast, but he is still going strong and keeps running! Today is my victory lap. I can go in without worrying about finishing the challenge and smile through the class, have a great time!"

They actually understood that. I also had a great 61st class.. and 62nd and 63rd class, and will keep going till travel catches up again. 

They always tell you "the real yoga begins when you walk out of that door". Both our girls went on one week trips as part of science camp on different weeks. 

Jr. went to Yosemite and the litte one went to Santa Cruz. We were really worried and thinking about the kid that was away a lot.. They both came back exhausted but happy and it was wonderful listening to them talk about their trips. The little one picked up knitting and is now making everyone scarves and beanies. 

Here is the arabian beanie meanie.. 

and yes.. I tried growing a beard over 20 days during the challenge, in an attempt to get the girls to get grades in return for shaving it off. The blackmail exercise did not work as they showed me that they are better at blackmailing me! It was three girls against the beard and they won!

The yoga does begin after we step out. Harmony is all about wearing your kids pink blankie and the beanie she just made for you and feeling on top of the world that there is so much love in your life!

Hathayoga Mathayoga…

2015 is almost done. Today I updated the excel spreadsheet again to review how this year went compared to previous years, as far as Yoga goes..

This year it was 209 so far. That is the best in the last three years! This year also saw 87 travel days. Very happy with this years push to do more Yoga personally and with the way my family pushed me to keep going. 

 

4 days a week should count as "regular" attendance..

and finally the weight tracking... something seems to be off.. I still track my weight after class every day but the weight is now stabilzing around 148 instead of 142. Either I have a new normal or the weighing machine that is ten plus years old has an issue and we need to buy a new one. The wife and kids are thrilled at the prospect of the new machine theory.  

Well, Jr. was supposed to take videos of me doing standing bow and toe stand.. which are two of my favorite poses, but she took pictures instead of videos.

Chin to dimple in shoulder contact works magic compared to cheek in dimple of shoulder, but when you take pictures, the truth always shows! 

The leg seems to be up a lot more now. Calling that as a response to "get your body parallel to the ground" is an insult to my 8th Grade geometry teacher! 

This one though, I like. Can lift off 3 to 4 inches off the heel now and have also managed to have the thighs parallel to the ground and the spine straight. Working on doing this on the right side to match the left.

The one thing that no graph will tell? Kicked out my leg (only left leg) to go from step 1 to step 2 in the "standing head to knee" pose a total of three times this year. Locked the knee for a full 60 seconds only ten or so times.

2016 resolution is to "Lock the knee" for a full 60 seconds and kick that leg out! 

Have become a true believer in the concept of "eventually"!

There are a lot of things that happen in the hot room that were really "not me" five years ago. Based on that, have realized that things happen if one keeps making incremental progress. So there is confidence on locking that knee... even if it doesn't happen in 2016, it will happen...

eventually!

ps. Jr. and the little one would actually like to see me do a standing split. Even that can happen.. eventually!

Just Dance Kids

The kids have been playing "Just Dance for Kids", on the Wii at their cousins place practically every alternate day since X-mas.

They were hooked to the songs and we were hooked on watching the little one make those cute dance moves. She really gets into it and moves like a pro!

Was not happy when we went to Best Buy and the store clerk said "there is no Just dance for kids in Kinect. Only for Wii. Kinect is aimed more at adult audiences and Wii is more of a family entertainment thing" and he went on to give us a few Dance options which either had "mature" dance moves or Lyrics that were PG13 or simply NC17!

My track record with Microsoft Hardware products has not been good. Even bad mouthed Microsoft and ended up in a fight with the wife and MIL because saying negative things about THE company is tantamount to abusing the BIL in proxy and that is not nice.

Considering the fact that I verbally abuse most companies including IBM, Google, Motorola, McAfee, Adobe and Microsoft on a regular basis thanks to certain shortcomings on their products and the only companies that seem to make me happy are Canon and Apple it should be clear that the household is very polarized at times!

Thanks to a Wiki article that had an entire list of Kinect Games, was able to find out that there is a Kinect version of Just Dance for Kids and is available in "select" stores.

Went and bought one for the kids this evening.. just to see them smile and dance away!

Totally worth it!

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Bring your kids to Yoga day!

Why not?

BYSJ had a special event today to introduce the little ones to Yoga and to have them see what their parents do in the Yoga room..

Both Jr. and the little one were good sports. They said "if it is hot and sweaty and I cannot do it, will sit down okay?"

Told them that is exactly what daddy also does in the room when it gets to be difficult.

They did great!

We have only one out of focus picture (thanks to San who needs a photography lesson even for an iPhone) but the studio took a lot more pictures. Hopefully we get to see them in some of the pictures.

It was a fun experience to show them the exercises in a not so hot room with one set of exercises, but kept them going.

Hope they make it a regular event..

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Focusing your mind - Bikram Yoga followup

This is a followup to the previous post which described physical changes after starting Bikram Yoga.

Before trying to describe the Behavioral changes over the last 6 weeks (Yes, it has been 6 weeks and so far we have made it to 40/43 days!), there are a few important physical changes that were left out in the previous post.

- Softening and shinier skin. With all that sweating your skin becomes extremely soft like a baby's skin. It also starts reflecting light. Your nose, forehead etc. reflect flash when photographed. The front part of your leg where the skin stretches over the bone also starts to get shiny.

- Hair loss (if you can call it that) in select areas of the body. Inner thighs, the inside of your arms near the elbows, the calf area, the few hairs on your chest all gone. There are a lot of guys who show up to class who are as hairy as they get, but just letting you know that for someone who did not have much body hair to start with this is was a good thing... and yes, your chest reflects a lot more light than before when flash photographed.

- Phenomenal ability to shut your ears from the inside. Well, guess all married men acquire this ability to filter out select sounds from the wife, kids, MIL over time, but this is like magic. You can stop listening to things without ear plugs! Like a switch. Needless to say the four women in the house are all upset with Daddy's new found skill.

There was also one day when I slowed down in class after the first 20 minutes when the towel turned a bright yellow where my sweat pooled on it. Having been through Jaundice in 5th grade was worried about having done something to my liver and started doing one set instead of two throughout the rest of the class. The teacher told me that it is normal for some folks to sweat yellow and to drink more water. Later internet searching showed that this is a reaction to the urea from the sweat (same urea from urine gets out through sweat) to some of the new bio-degradable laundry detergents. As it so happened we brought a new "eco" detergent from Costco two days back and it is not a concern anymore.

Now that we have all that documented for other people who might look for information, here is the part about the mind.

The first few days of Yoga was spent in coping with the body changes. It also came with guilt for not having treated the body nicely all this time since the accident, for abusing it with a lot of 14-18 hour work days, bad food choices etc. etc. Then there were thoughts of "why didn't I do this before. This place is so close to home" and some internal justification that it was not meant to be then and it is meant to be now.

After the first week, there was a total sense of detachment with "high decibel noise". When the kids or wife spoke, daddy listened. When they raised their voice, it was filtered out. Same thing at work in meetings where folks got all hyper. Invariably, you realize that when it gets to that point at work or home, filtering out does not change anything. The people who scream don't accomplish anything anyways and only when they calm down themselves do we get to a solution. The only times in the last six weeks this control was not exercisable was when someone lied and my face and ears turned red because blood rushed to my face. Most of this may be commonsense and things regular people do all the time, but it is a new experience for me.

For a person who was always "hyperactive" and quick to get excited over technical things, this is a big change. In other words my signal to noise has gone up by orders of magnitude. This is perceived by people around me as "operating at a higher level", "separating the wheat from the chaff" etc. etc.

Right now, the reaction to anything that is touted as a major problem is "okay, think. what next". There is a deep breath that is being taken before making any serious decision or before opening ones mouth in meetings or at home. Sometimes it is better to leave things unsaid and when you take that breath you realize it and stop yourself.

Controlling your anger is more difficult when you start yoga. The first week was tough. It was like you became a women and were going through PMS. There was a lot of frustration, anger, and happiness. Was really emotional. This went away after the first week.

This change might be perceived by some as a "he doesn't care anymore" or "is he going to quit?" or sometimes your kids might make statements to your wife like "daddy doesn't listen to me anymore" and your wife might think you are going to leave the house and go to the mountains. You walk away from situations where you would have stood and fought and the other person just goes "what happened? you don't want a fight?", "you not man enough?"..

Have realized that this aloofness is not a good thing right now at this stage of life, especially in light of the man enough part, and have corrected it in places.

Now for a sensitive topic. Internet sites, "Bikram quotes" from people who are writing negative articles about him, say that your drive to do things in bed is supposed to increase with yoga and this is something to brag about. On the contrary, the first two weeks after doing yoga, that was the last thing on my mind. All those pretty people you see in the studio and nothing stirs inside you. You go to Santa Cruz and there are good looking women frolicking in the beach and you don't get excited in any way.

Skimpy clad women are not new to me, even from ballroom dancing days. There it was all about blocking out that from your mind and focusing on the dancing. Here the issue seems to be that there is nothing to block. You expect your brain to work on blocking out a thought but it is like the thought didn't arise in the first place. Again, this is a personal experience and maybe something is different with me. If you tried yoga and went through the same or similar experience, please do drop a note in the comment box. There is not much out there in terms of experience from a guy's perspective. Probably guys are not outspoken when it comes to this topic and guess most guys would not want to talk about this, leave alone blog about this.

Have to admit that I have tried to think about this a little too long. Was this a reflection of how doing things in bed were in the past some way to feel alive or feel good about yourself and now that Yoga makes you feel good, you are okay with all that taking a backseat? Or is it the fact that sleeping earlier and focusing on your breathing taking priority over everything else? It is likely that the sleeping hours before the wife comes to bed and leaving hours before she gets up is the root cause and not some mind thing. Hence the request for others to share their comments. You might be perceived as self centered and selfish by your family if you went through similar things. Guys don't play "hard to get", girls do. So when a guy is perceived that way, something has definitely changed.

One theory (self analysis of course) is that even for a guy, there is a lot of hormone changes possibly going on what with compressing parts of the body and extending them and having blood flow to parts that have not seen such flows in ages. Maybe a side effect of those hormone changes? If you are touching your own forearm and go "wow.. this is smoother than my wife's hand" then maybe you have an issue. Even had a weird dream of me becoming like Lord Shiva in his ArdhaNarishvara form (half of his body is man and the other half is Parvathi).

Internet searches tell me that yoga by default reduces chemicals produced by body in stress situations (cortisol). It also stimulates all the glands in the body. From day 10 to day 30, could not care less about anything. Over the last ten days with some experimenting and self analysis, have come to the conclusion that :

- nothing wrong with me physically
- nothing wrong psychologically with respect to being turned on either but you have to willingly turn on a switch in your head and make it say you want it
- somehow the default setting for sensuality is turned off and you have to turn it on at will

So there again, if you feel your drive is gone and you don't seem be bothered by it, it may not be gone. It is very much there if you chose to go for it.

Having had no training as a doctor or a yogi and not having much data go with from the internet, this is the best I could do to summarize the last part. Yoga is supposed to make you realize that the "you" or "my" is not worth it. Guess you get there through a process where you first realize what the "you" is all about.

Recently the body and mind seem to have reached a steady state and the changes are not drastic. They are all gradual changes in strength, flexibility and the ability to focus or defocus on things and ideas. There is no more weight loss either. It has plateaued out.

Not going to add more posts on Yoga. If anything, will update these two posts or add things to the comment section. The real goal was to put these things out so that other folks looking for info. will at least see one persons perspective and add more data to their decision making process on continuing with Hot Yoga.

Life, just got interesting!

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