A fond farewell

This blog has not seen a post since May 26th. It has been a 100 days. I simply could not get back to writing.

My dad passed on 29th of May. After going to India and participating in his last rites, something has left me. Do not know what it is. That 10+ days of going through rituals has left some unexplainable void.

There are a lot of things to write about. Lots of songs to sing. Somehow could not get back to doing things I do normally with the same ease. The only saving grace was yoga. Somehow knew that going to a hot and humid room and spending 90 minutes without making any external sound, will help silence my inner voice and bring me much needed calm, and it did. Kept doing yoga as much as possible.

One of my Smule group friends threw a party to introduce his son and new daugher-in-law after the marriage. Many from the group had planned to sing at this meet and greet. Did not sign up, but once there, my friends pulled me in to sing and I did enjoy that moment. Somehow after coming home after the event, went back into a funk.

Work kept me very busy. A young co-worker ended up sick right after I came back and that left another lump in my throat. Kept all my focus on just work and yoga. The writing and singing, taking pictures and hiking went sideways.

Then came the long weekend and we went on a trip as a family. This might have been the one chance to go as a family given the kids are adults now and their schedules are no longer under our control. It was a good week spent but still took me some time, to just log back into the blog site.

This is my online farewell to my dad. I have to write about the man and his influence or the buffer block won’t clear in my head.

Here is to

Shri Hariharan Narayanan of Pudukkottai, Chennai

1939-2025

My dad lost his mom at a very young age and that pretty much left a scar that carried through his life. He got married late and had kids late. He was extremely intelligent and smart. Had a phenomenal memory and ability to connect dots. He was also an emotional idiot with a penchant to romanticize tragedy and nostalgia.

His only bad trait was a short temper, a blown fuse that took its toll on me as a kid. Still when there was a time when no one stood by me, he was there for me. He was always the contrast to everything I looked up to in my grandpa. My grandpa was the biggest influence in my life. I always credit him for my value system, but my dad was there to shape it without intending to. Years later when my dad spent almost 6 months with us, I actually realized there were a lot of things that were common between my grandpa and my dad.

Then there is my reflection in the mirror, the things I do, my fear of going through Parkinson’s… which constantly remind me of him.

There were times I had a love hate relationship with who I was, who I am, but somethings I have not given up, like wearing my poonal, no matter what.. because he wanted me to wear it till I die, so sandyavandanam, change it once a year, so one day perform his last rites, give my daughters hand in marriage (in his eyes it was part of a rite of passage). He being who he was from a different time, was still talking to me about his sadness at me not having a son when I was already 50 and old enough to start thinking of becoming a grandpa myself. Over the years it used to annoy me, but as I matured, learned to laugh it off. There was no changing either one of us on certain things.

He mellowed out as he aged. It was easier to interact with him as the years passed. Not sure how much of that is a reflection of either one of us becoming more accepting. Maybe both of us!

As I write this, I can feel him right here next to me, reading this over my shoulder and suggesting edits, telling me I could do better than this. Wanted to write a fond farewell, only to realize there is no saying bye to someone who is a part of me.

He is definitely wishing me well from wherever he is.

Time is supposed to move things along and even if you sense a tinge of sadness in my writing and singing and overall mood, this too shall pass. We are seeing a steady improvement in my social interactivity coefficient already in 3 months. Maybe in another three months, will be back to being my usual self.

Here is to …

Fall creek state park

The plan for the long weekend was rest rest and more rest, with some yoga thrown in. However, the hiking group decided that the best recovery is to just get back on the trail when I have been declared to be able to breathe again normally.

If the wife says I am hike worthy.. then guess I am..

We left at 7AM to drive to Scotts valley / Felton area to Henry Cowell state park area. There is a Fall creek state park as part of this elaborate complex of parks.

We hiked the big ben tree trail, the lost empire trail and a few other trails. It was interesting. Four plus miles of downhill and an almost non stop climb back up. Not exactly a starter hike for a guy who has been wondering where all oxygen was going after it passed through his nose.

There were Zero benches on this trail. So no bench photos.. I did stop a lot to take pictures..

There was plenty of water in the creek and the waterfalls were amazing!

The trees, the berries, the banana slugs, it was an interesting hike.. and the mosquitos..

standing inside the hollow of a burnt out tree that still stands is an amazing experience. These trees are hundreds of years old!

After the hike we stopped on the way in Felton at Ambrosia to get some Indian buffet.. have not had a buffet lunch in a long time. There was a lot of stuff for non-veg folks. I did not get my money’s worth, but the food was great! The daal and naan were fantastic.

Here is a video highlights reel..

A few things about this hike. It is not 8 miles. It is closer to 10. So don’t believe the comments on websites. The hike is moderately hard at places. It was pleasant and a better me would have had a lot more fun. Finally, there is plenty to see on this trail and it is mostly shaded. No benches but plenty of amazing views and the creeks full of water added vibrant views.

We might visit other trails in this state park area soon!

A weekend getaway with friends to Bodega Bay

For over 20 years we have wanted to visit Bodega bay. An old friend and colleague Kevin kept raving about this place after spending a weekend there with his wife. The opportunity never came. In early April, our friends called us to join them for a weekend at Windor (same area). They had access to a timeshare. We drove the two plus hours on a rainy Friday evening to Windsor. It was a cute apartment. Even if we did not go anywhere outside and were just chatting it would have still been a great weekend.

The trips to Bodega bay, the local estuary walk, telling them about the bench photo tradition, lunch at a Nepalese place in Sebastapol, visiting Healdsburg, spending time at a bookstore there followed by some delicious ice cream, walking in the rain and drizzle through the streets and art galleries there… all of that was just extra. Every family has a crazy person and a sane person.. you would have come to that conclusion if all our conversations were overheard.

We had fun!

More pics.. The late lunch at Namaste Kitchen was delicious! The ice cream and hot cocoa on a rainy afternoon at Noble folks in Healdsburg was out of the world!

Walking in Sebastopol on Florence avenue to admire the junk art was a great exprience. We met Patrick Amiot and thanked him for his creations!

while walking around the place we saw a very real reminder of current events.

A video highlights reel..

We are all getting to a different phase of our lives with the kids becoming young adults. It is great to feel young again.. only friends can do that with effortless ease!

Here is to many more getaways! The kids are probably rolling their eyes as they read this.. but will take that!