all part of life

The vegetarian VP

Over the last year or so, there are friends that make jokes like "How is Mr. Vice doing?" , "What's up with the Veep?" etc. which are all references to my VP title at work. 

The irony of the vice thing is not lost on me. As a person who is vegetarian by choice, a non smoker, non drinker of coffee, anything carbonated and anything alcoholic, there is a severe restriction when I eat outside.

Folks who have worked with me over the last decade know that I always bring my own lunch box and eat my rice with Rasam, Sambar or plain yogurt with a curry or two. A perfectly okay meal that seems to meet my dietary needs and food allergy restrictions. 

The demands on socializing outside of work definitely increase as one moves up the management chain. At some point, it becomes a necessity to go beyond meeting at Starbucks or the local bars to some high end dining locations. 

To the amusement of the others at the dinner table, yours truly always toasts with plain water or a glass of orange juice. The 400$ bottles of wine that are sniffed and then passed around make for amusement from my perspective. Still a value shopper, I can never understand why a bottle of wine should cost 400 bucks and if the folks at the table can really differentiate betwen a 400$ bottle vs. a 40$ bottle on a blind test. Then again, I am probably not qualified to appreciate wine as I lack the experience. 

Recently at a friends place we had a discussion on "If you have a VP title, your job is to do more business and less technical stuff.. even if you are the VP of Technology... so how can you be efficient as a VP if you don't drink or eat meat or go to places where people smoke?"

That question threw me back! It was never part of the job description as a director, senior director or VP! Was it one of things like the "code red" in "A few good men", an unwritten rule of sorts? I started to wonder if my job would be better done if I drank a lot instead of being the designated driver at these dinners! 

Where the meat figures in this is still beyond me. Most of the restaurants I have visited have at least one vegetarian option if in the US. However, I did see disappointment written large on the face of a head Chef at a restaurant outside the US, when our host was translating. He pointed at me to the chef and said "do you have anything vegetarian?" and the response was "we have mussels, clams. does that work?" and I nodded saying "No. those are not vegetarian" and the Chef said "Oh, No!" in their language. They discussed for a few more minutes and finally got a large salad specially made for me. To compensate they gave me a double portion of chocolate dessert! They were extremely happy that I loved chocolate.

It is true that becoming a dedicated Yogi and practicing Hatha Yoga and simultaneously doing meditation on a daily basis makes folks around me think I am going to become a monk any day and walk into a forest. Given that there is a darling wife who cooks for me to remind me of the finer things in life and two daughters who hold the key to my breathing, there are no plans to become a monk at anytime. It is always easy for folks who claim enlightenment to walk away from social obligations, but it is a challenge to have a clarity of mind and still do what matters on a day to day basis.  

The side effect of doing Yoga and meditation is that I now have the resolve to say "No" to things I do not have to do or want to do and still strive on being the best at what is required. The first contradiction to that was the question raised "you cannot be the best you can be if you don't drink!"

Time will tell if success on the job was ever compromised by being a Yogi! So far, I think not. Every person I have interacted with at these dinners seems to appreciate my abiilty to say "no" to expensive food and wine and stick to my salad, bread and chocolate cakes. My colleagues who know of my allergy history have no complaints. 

Someday, when I retire from being the busy technologist, will write a book with this title. There are simply too many funny stories to share. Given the blogs separation of work and blog policy, those stories have to wait post retirement.

Intelligent but not smart

My mother always used to tell me "you are intelligent, but not smart!" and it would usually be in the context of how my people skills lacked a certain element of "guardedness" and a track record of my faith in the fellow human being placed on the wrong beings.

Recently the kids go on a spree, pointing out why Grandma is right!

We had to do passport pictures. San did the usual diaglogue of "you have thousands of dollars worth of camera equipment. take the photos yourself" and the photo session was done. 

When it came time to print the photos, yours truly said "Hey, I can get us all the photos in one print!" and put them as a 8x10 grid and sent it off to print.

It did come out nice and we were in and out of the local pharmacy photo printer area in 5 minutes. 

Then came the realization. Instead of printing it as a 8x10 and paying upwards of 5 bucks for it, we could have made it into four 4x6's and got it for under a dollar. 

The little one is smart enough to figure this out.  Going forward, will have to include her in any of my "projects" to put the smart factor in!

Traditions and Gorillas

In the mid nineties a friend at RPI told me a story (he said it was an experiment, but I am not sure if it was really done or just a story).. so let's just call it that for now.

It goes like this. The scientists put three gorillas in an enclosure which was moated on three sides and on the fourth side was a tall metal gate which was electrified but not locked.

Initially the first gorilla attempts to open the gate but gets a shock so it comes back to the middle of the enclosure. Same thing happens to the other two gorillas. Soon there is a baby gorilla born in the enclosure. They also add another new gorilla to the mix. When these two new additions tried to go towards the gate, the other three pulled them back with a lot of warning. 

Soon the original three gorillas were long gone and new ones were added to the enclosure. The fence was not electrified anymore, but not a single gorilla made it out. If anyone tried, the others would stop them from the terrible fate about to befall them. 

Now there may be many morals to that story or many inferences from that experiment on behaviour, but my takeway is that sometimes traditions are just formed along these lines and we do things out of context to present day just because our parents and grand parents did so.

Now why bring up all this now? This week has a special day in it.. aka Valentine's day. So "tradition" has it that the kids give a "Valentine" to all their classmates, irrespective of wheather they like the person or not. 

This translates to us buying a bunch of cards, envelopes, pre packaged trinkets and putting them in envelopes and getting them to school. They have nicely segregated the Valentines for boys and girls.. so if there are are 20 kids in the class and you have 12 girls, you have to buy two boxes of 20 valentines. 

To make things interesting, the envelopes and the trinkets don't always fit and we cannot seal the envelopes easily with the heart stickers provided. If there is one item on the shelves this week that has no concept of quality, it must be the valentines.

In spite of all this, the joy on the kids face doing this activity is worth the griping over the quality of these things. I am not sure if we will ever eliminate this "tradition", given that it provides much needed jobs to a bunch of factory workers and also given that it keeps the paper and pulp industry going again.. well, one can always try to find a silver lining in this somewhere ?! 

Every year I suggest skipping this tradition for our kids but don't succeed in it. We also have a shoebox for each kid where all the valentines they received over the years are stored.

The good news? The middle schooler does not have to do this anymore. It seems to be like trick or treating. Once the kid goes to middle school, this is seen as an activity for "small kids" or as Jr. puts it "it is for kids", which is a hint to us that she should now be counted with the adults. 

Happy valentine's day to everyone in advance. May your weekend be filled with cards, candies and flowers and at the least, lots and lots of love!