Radical

I keep hearing the term "radicalized" and "radicalization" in casual conversations with people these days. Can only imagine what it must be like listening to news. So what is all this about being a "radical"? 

As a kid my definition of radical was a group of atoms that was free to attach to another group of atoms. 

The other definition is "affecting the fundamental nature of something, far reaching or thorough" and apparently that is what is being talked about, "Far reaching".

For lack of a better analogy, let us say there are multiple folks who want to go from various parts of the bay area to the golden gate bridge. If I had to go there I would take highway 101. Sure bet in my opinion and have been driving on it for many years. Know when to change to which lane, where to expect traffic, know I will get there.  If you ask anyone else in our house, chances are they will also say "take 101. best way"

There may be others who will bet on 280 for their own reasons. They will also get to the golden gate. Might be faster or slower, but they will get there and to them it is a safe bet.

There might even be a guy who says "I have a jet pack. I can get there much faster by going up to 2000 feet and going down". He may be right, he may be wrong. The jet pack might work for him, who knows?! Hopefully he does reach as well.

If a new family visits us here and they have never travelled to SFO, we might recommend them through 101 while a different family might suggest 280. Or they might just say "let me use Google maps to decide which route to take based on traffic info. that is crowdsourced"

Where am I going with all this?

Religion mostly provides some kind of route to a destination which most of us are worried about or cannot necessarily deal with until we die. Salvation! 

We will all swear by our religions as a sure bet to reach the other side based on our own lifes experiences, experiences of others we take for granted that are passed on through generations. Most of the time it is information that we cannot rely on as it is embellished over time and it seems to be a very rare event when someone seems to have died and come back to tell us what is on the other side. There is no dearth of smart people on the planet who can explain things by making us look here, there, inward, outward, etc. etc.

At the end of the day, there is no problem with people picking a comforable route to reach their destination. 

The problem is when one says emphatically that "my route is the only route. all other routes are false". It would be great if everyone got to go on a rotation program with different religions, much like a new college grad goes through different departments in a company before joining a particular group. It would be like we all get to try 101 and 280 or that jet pack if we can get our hands on it and see which route we prefer. Unfortunately, that is not realistic. 

What we could do is to acknowledge that different people will have their own comfort zones and let people go through their own routes. While this seems to be simple enough to say "live and let live", it may not be the real problem. It is all about money. That is a bigger problem that is beyond salvation of any kind. However, live and let live is a good place to start.

When I hear someone say "all muslims are terrorists", that person has been radicalized to believe something that is not true. It is as radical as folks who are chanting "death to America". 

There was a recent conversation with a friend who asked me "Most of the Indians I know in the bay area are so far right that they will put the tea party guys look like Bernie Sanders, yet you are preaching live and let live?" 

In all honesty I told him "the average american kid today is not getting an education on the world. they won't know the difference between India, Pakistan, Malaysia, Iran or Syria or for that matter a difference between different religions. My kids might know their world history and geography but that is not enough. It is like being a safe driver on a freeway where a drunk guy is coming in the wrong direction. End result is not going to be good for either driver. There are folks teaching their kids to hate, based on the fact that other kids are of a different skin color or wear a scarf or turban of some kind. My kids could wear a dupatta on their head and could be the target of a hate crime. I want to make sure that I support a live and let live policy and counter this hate"

I also acknowledged that islamophobia is very high among Hindu households that we interact with here in the bay area. Even on the recent India trip, we had many conversations with folks who belive that the Muslim population in India is increasing dispropotionately, not because more people are believing in Islam or converting to the religion, but because the Muslim folks are on a drive to increase their population where they are a local minority, irrespective of the quality of life they can give their kids.

A relative told me "while other communities are stopping with one or two kids, Muslim families are having four or five plus kids, the families tend to be poor and the kids are not educated and this in turn, feeds a dependence on their religious links to sponsor them and in return they are willing to do anything for their sponsors who are invariably people from the middle east with an agenda to create supporters in India". 

I am not sure if that is what is going on, as this sounds like how things were in Indian villages post Independence irrespective of religion. More kids meant more income and it could simply be that the poor folks are living in the past and economic and religious demographics are being mixed up.

What was clear to me after those conversations, was that the problems are not all about whose route is better. It is about the thought that there is strength in numbers, money and power! 

We are all pawns in an elaborate game played by folks who control the money. Most of what we hear is one side of a story that manages to reach us and the stories with money behind them invariably reach us better.

It is going to take the parents of today a herculean effort to make sure that their bigotry is not passed on to the kids. Our kids don't need to learn to hate. They could learn to love and accept diversity and differences. We need to educate our kids better. Not just our kids. All kids! Yes, I sound like an ad for "no child left behind!" that too for an education on social sciences in a world where math and science are being ignored to accomodate spreading more bigotry.

When I hear what is happening in our kids schools based on the stories they tell me, my stomach churns. In spite of what we teach them at home, they are becoming who they are based on the sum total of their experiences in and outside the house. They are smart and inquisitive and will absorb everything like a sponge. Sometimes I just cry because there are no decent answers to their questions. 

Think it was Deming who said "In god we trust. Everyone else bring data".

The way the world is going, we might have to ask God to bring data as well.

As for "radicalization", for anything to reach far, there are two forces behind it. A push and a pull. The pull for radicalization is there in every shape and form with every over zealous preacher saying "only route xyz can save you!". In spite of that pull existing, not everyone takes a radical view.

It also needs a push. Either the push is a mental defect of some kind in some individuals, or a society that creates a situation where people around the person push that person closer to what is pulling. The youth of today don't need that push. The more we teach our kids to hate, or fear people and things that are different from them, the more the push.

Actually like the Chinese folks I interact with in Asia. They work hard, play hard and religion doesn't seem to be a big part of the day to day life and they are doing fine. They think they are all going to a nice place after thus life and don't seem too worried. The Chinese folks in Cupertino though, seem to be very much like the desi folks when it comes to religious prejudices. The melting pot that is the US of A does seem to do strange things to folks when they melt in.

As we close down on 2015, it is my sincere hope that we all spread a message of peace and do our best to educate everyone around us on going after facts, instead of made up stuff on FB and Whatsapp! Teach your kids to be nice to all their classmates. We are working on it at home.

Ishwar Allah tero Naam...

Top on the google news tonight!

As a child was taught Raghupati Raghava Raja Ram and that Ishwar and Allah are all "god's names"!

Now if a person who was raised in India goes to Malaysia believing "Ishwar Allah Tero Naam, Sabko Sanmati De Bhagwan" chances are there will be violence..

Mahatma must be slow roasting in his grave

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Those three days - Where is all this headed?

For previous posts by Sundar hawking a serious topic with some humor, see:

1. The Unified Theetu theory: Definition, rules and boundary conditions
2. A brief history of "theetu"

This last post on the topic is about why people follow these customs, perception of people who follow/don't follow them, in the eyes of others.

When little Sundaram was all but a boy of 3-4, he would rather be naked and sit next to his mom in a corner of the room for three days a month and still enjoy the "freedom" of running around the rest of the house than be confined to only one side of the room at any given point. After a little scolding from older folks, he just figured out that if he had two chaddis, one of which resided with his mom and another which was outside the "theetu" boundary and he changed as fast as S.Ve. Sekar changed shirts in the stage play, his total exposure time would be drastically reduced and he still got the best of both worlds. As an added bonus, this made him understand the concept of electovalent vs. covalent bonding in ninth grade very quickly.

The scheme came to a quick end when great grandma declared that as per the spec. documents, section 7.2.1.1.1 which would be

7 kids
2 greater than 3 years old
1 clothes
1 boundary
1 cross contamination

any kid touching mom during theetu, is theetu by induction, naked or otherwise unless he has a shower! You can change underwear fast enough, but squeezing in a quick shower, now that was not possible. Not happy with the rules which didn't have any written proof or basis, the little boy picked what was his first of many fights on unwritten rules that did not make anyone happy.

My mother used to tell me horror stories of how she was treated badly when she was just a teenager. Most of these stories involved older widowed womenfolk in the house taking it out on the younger girls in the name of "thooram vilagaradhu", "aacharam" etc. etc. and the middle aged women not backing the young ones and siding with the oldies for fear or retaliation. I am sure the men played a part in this by looking the other way. Decided that when it was time for my sister to go sit in a corner, I would fight for her.

A decade went by and in what would have made Abhimanyu proud, I fought the entire family tooth and nail so that my sister would not go sit in a corner when it was her turn. Initially my sister was proud of me, but after seeing the way everyone ganged up on me, she thought it was better to end the fight by going to the corner. After that, whose fight do you fight?

Told myself that someday when I got married, will make sure that my wife will never go and sit in any corner. When San and I got married, she came here within days after our marriage and the first time we had to decide on the rules, told her that my preference was that she do not go overboard with theetu. She had the right to choose whatever restrictions she wanted to follow as long as it did not affect us both. In other words, I wasn't going to take any extra showers because I gave her a hug after coming back from work. She was very happy. San would not touch the prayer shelf in the kitchen, would not touch items in the kitchen that were associated with any prayer, would not go to temples during those days and that was it. If she was tired, I would take over the cooking or we would just go to Bhavikas, not that we needed a reason to go to Bhavikas. I was also happy with that arrangement.

There was no one from either side of the family visiting us till just before Jr. was born. In those 4 years, there was only a self imposed "theetu-lite" in the house. Then Jr. came and we did not have to worry about any rules for almost another 6 months.

We did declare to the parents and in-laws that our house will have only these conditions. One funny conversation that happened with an elder relative when they came to our house:

ER: this carpet, is it cloth?
Me: it is synthetic, but has natural fiber mix in it.
ER: Hmmmm. . how do you clean it.. can it get wet
Me: they have this amazing concept called steam cleaning. They wet the whole carpet with steam and vacuum it, makes it come out like brand new. The carpet stays wet for a day but after it dries you can really see the difference.
ER: Appo "theetu" aache!
Me :!!!!!!!

Small problems like this did arise every now and then and one tries to use his limited knowledge of science and technology to come up with clever workarounds, like they came up with the vinyl covered pillows!

These days, the number of restrictions has taken a slight increase. As we grow older and have kids running around the house, we tend to gravitate more towards religion, belief and faith. Part of this is because we believe that if we raised our kids the way were raised, they will turn out okay. This of course is because we have usually turned out okay in our own eyes. There is always a hope that we would transfer at least what we perceived as the good part of how we were raised on to our kids.

Take me for example. A couple of weeks ago, the girls were so impressed when they saw me recite pages and pages of scriptures from memory. They wanted to know how to do that and said "it is too hard and impossible for me to do this daddy". They also wanted to impress daddy by doing what he does. So we started working on some slokams, by breaking them into small pieces and then putting them together into one long piece. They can both recite many slokams fluently with the original sanskrit pronunciations.

There were two reasons for my doing that. The first one being my own perception that my good memory having something to do with all those hours spent on my grandpa's lap every morning and evening as he recited scriptures. Maybe the ability to hear and remember and recite was what gave me ability to be a "star Maggu" in school and college and eventually helps me everyday in my job. Then again, my memory could simply have been inherited from my father who is a walking phone book. In either case, the logic was that the kids could have inherited a good memory from me by chance or they will improve their memory by reciting slokams.

The second reason was to teach them how to learn that complex things can be broken down into simple pieces and that practice makes perfect. The whole thing was an opportunity for me to teach them how to learn all those things and of course realize that they can do things they thought were impossible, if they listened to their daddy.

That last sentence is the bane of our existence. We so believe that what we pass to our kids will make them like us and that is the best we can do. We teach them to choose wisely and train them to choose like us.

I write this post with hope that eventually when the girls get older, they will make a choice that makes sense for that time and place and environment. There is a very good likelyhood that they will follow some lighter form of "theetu-lite". So far they do not know or even realize that something like this is being observed and that is the basis for the guess.

It is very difficult for every generation to accept drastic changes that the next generation makes. Gradual changes seem to have open or even reluctant acceptance. Hopefully the girls will not be judged for the choices they make. To a large part that depends on how the older people in the family (we are growing older and that means it includes us and our generation) will accept their choices for what they are.

Cleanliness and godliness are both relative terms and there is always a balance between the two that every generation arrives at. Wish the girls will choose things that they are comfortable with, for their own reasons.

One thing is for sure. Just like my decision to defend my sister and wife at some point with their choice, my support will be there for Jr. and the little one, when they make choices and want someone to help them defend their choice. Hopefully that situation will not arise.

Here is to hope!

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