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Tuesday
Nov152005

Rekindling the embers !!!

Remember my posts on the "moral policing" in TamilNadu which was widely termed the "Kushboo Issue" ?

Then came the bigotry of the media, which I wrote about on this followup !

The latest in the saga involves actress Suhasini (a popular award winning actress) who supported Kushboo's statements on "pre marital safe sex" and is now the target of the moral police. You can read all about it here..

If you dont care to read all the previous posts, here is a brief summary :

1. Kushboo gives in interview where she mentions that pre marital sex is prevalent among Tamil women, irrespective of wheather it is acknowledged by the public or not and therfore a message has to be sent to these young women to indulge in "safe sex". This is not much different from the "install condom vending machines in high schools!" issue that came up in the United States in the late nineties, that clashed with the "abstinence should be the only message" idealogy. No one said "abstinence is not the best message" , but in the event that message was going to be ignored by the hormone driven youngsters, the liberals were pleading to send home a secondary message to to be safe !! "Better safe than sorry" was their logic.

2. People who built temples to this popular actress, decided to picket her house, questioned her "tamil-ness" and her right to make a statement on behalf of "tamil women" and went on to destroy the temple they built for her and asked her to leave the state because she said "tamil women have pre marital sex"!

3. They also asked her to come to court and apologize to the "tamil woman", and at that point the issue died down, what with the holiday season and the torrential rains taking headlines again.

4. Recently at a film festival, actress Suhasini (who enjoys an even better "goody girl" image among tamil public than our Kushboo) stated that the politicos, public and media are blowing this out of proportion and that Kushboo was only trying to project the "safe" is better than "sorry" message!

5. Now Suhasini's effigies are being burnt, her "tamil-ness" is being questioned and she is being asked to "eat her words" and appear in court.

6. To top things off, the same violent protestors are pissed off that these actresses are being given "police protection" and they want to have a go at these women and are filing a case against the local police for "giving protection to criminals". In their minds, these actresses are "the accused" in the court cases and therefore are automatically guilty !!

I have been forewarned by my parents and in-laws not to write anything about this issue !! But having ignored their advice twice in the past, lets make it three strikes shall we ?

A few thoughts on the subject :

1. We have a thing or two to learn from the venerable Arnold Schwazzaneggar.. If he cannot decide between wearing a red or blue tie to his next party, he does what the sane guy does! He adds the question to the next ballot measure and lets the public decide. Similarly we should try to hold a referendum on the "tamil-ness" of tamil women. Only qualified Tamil women should be allowed to vote on the referendum and they should decide the fate of Kushboo , Suhasini and by extrapolation, their own fate !

2. How do you qualify to get the "tamil-woman" card so you can vote in such a referendum or ballot measure ?

a. answer a 50 page questionaire on your views on dating, sex in movies, sex in real life, dress code in public, dress code in private, talking in public to unknown males, your ability to carry a broom and picket outside peoples houses, etc. etc.

b. Do a catwalk for the political party leaders and followers (who so faithfully burn effigies and come at these actresses with blunt and sharp instruments with equal enthusiasm), so they can judge if you are tamil material.

c. Show that you can speak tamil (non actresses only), or bring in your dubbing artist (this if you are an actress -so you can show how your inability to speak the language is not a problem).

d. Last but not least, sign a declaration that you forfeit the right to voice your opinion on behalf of "tamil-woman" under any pretext on any issue and if you do, you will automatically be taken off the "tamil-woman" voter list !!

I was born to a tamil woman, was raised by so many (grandma, aunts), studied in a co-ed school with so many tamil women, have a sister who is very much a Tamil woman and married a very "tamil woman", but never have I been so concerned for their freedom to just say things that come to their mind, without fearing retribution.

There is a difference between agreeing with a cause or making a statement and actually being the cause or acting out the statement. For example, I think it should be okay for homosexual couples to be able to get married. They are a minority and they are ostracized and they really dont deserve the treatment they get. I have a lot of gay friends and I sympathize with their plight. That does not make ME gay !!

Similarly, Kushboo or Suhasini are not advocating pre marital sex. Kushboo is trying to say "it is out there. so dont ignore it"! Should that message be lost ?

For a culture that prides itself on being so closed when it comes to sex-talk, why have a state subsidized AIDS awareness ad capaign ( remember the Pulli- Raja ads that were on every billboard ?) ? By running an AIDS awareness campaign, does the government automatically encourage un-safe sex ? I am pretty sure that was not the message conveyed by the governemnt. The same yardstick should apply here !!

Problems do not disappear because we choose to ignore the message, or obfuscate the issue with such diversion tactics as "questioning ones tamil-ness", unnecessary court cases, effigy burning, picketting etc.. It is the collective responsibility of any great society to face the facts, tackle difficult issues head on and take pride in their ability to do these things without violating the law of the land !

Tuesday
Nov152005

Sleepless in Sunnyvale

No ! I am not trying to do a rip on the Tom Hanks movie..

Have been going through a tough week at home.

The nocturnal baby is definitely one of gods cruel jokes! She sleeps so peacefully in the morning in spite of the high noise level, high intensity ambient light and all the intense cooking smell that surrounds the house (since we live in heated homes, it is not wise to open the windows and air out the stong spice smell.. your heating bill might double !).

At night, she is up and making all these attention craving noises in spite of nice heating, no smell, low lighting! They say every baby is different. This one might look like the older kid, but behaviour wise, she is far from the first one !

My only solace ? You guessed it.. reading blogs. The little one is very quiet when I have her on my shoulders. So I just put her on my shoulders for almost an hour and keep reading blogs !! This goes on from 10-11AM, 1-2 AM then 3-4AM ..

My uncle used to quote Swami Vivekananda all the time - "Pasiththu iru, thaniththu iru, vizhiththu iru" to get enlightened !(which translates to "be hungry, be alone, be awake" - I dont know if the hungry part refers to "hungry for food" or "hungry for knowledge" ) either way..

I think this must be one of those "all or nothing" ideas. I am awake, I am hungry .. but I am not alone because I have a kid on my shoulder and this is not doing much to improve my current state of things, leave alone enlightenment !!

The only "lightening" that is happening is that my baby burps and poops every time I stare at the screen in the middle of the night with her on my shoulder !

The midnight blogging will continue ...

Saturday
Nov122005

Why I stayed in the US of A !!

We had a Diwali party at my daughters daycare on Friday. It was by far the most amazing party I have ever attended in the US. There are close to 120 kids in this daycare and they are practically from all ethnic, cultural, religious backgrounds from across the globe. They all came dressed up in Indian clothes, lit "diyas" (lamps) and danced to indian music, listened to a "Jai Jagdeesh Hare" prayer sung by the Indian parents, and a description of the Diwali festival. Of course there was Indian snacks served after the dance program.

What struck me as most amazing was that I did not for a minute feel that this was an international crowd. I felt I was back home in India!! At the end the celebration, the daycare director said "this is what we want to promote here ! An openness to all cultures and diversity so everyone gets to learn about every culture ". It really touched me.

On second thought, I should have been celebrating Halloween with more gusto all these years !!

This land is truly amazing and I guess that this openness and cross cultural awareness of the average american citizen is what drew me to stay here after I graduated ! I remember paying 5 bucks a person for a whole bunch of my international grad school buddies to watch world cup cricket in our auditorium, just because they really wanted to know what motivated me to sleep in the auditorium and wait for a game that began at 1:30 AM local time !!

It is an ever shrinking world people and the first ones to shink out of this world will be the people who are small enough not to accept cross cultural diversity !!After seeing kids from Russian and Mexican backgrounds wear mini Gagra Cholis and "pattu Paavadais", not to mention colorful bindis and dance to "Dhoom Machchaye", you realize something special is happening here !!

Remember my 7 Tag ? I am 1/2 out of 7 there.. Had so much fun dancing with my daughter ..

Click on the picture to see video...

Friday
Nov112005

What is in a Name ?

This happened for real.

An operator was heard paging on the public announcement system:

Mr. Liar please call the operator. Mr Liar please call the operator.

Guess who was really being paged ..

Mr. Iyer !!! This guy whose last name is Iyer was very sportive about it. Said it happens a lot becaue in the US, the L is written as a straight line just like an I.

For those of you who are not familiar, Iyer is a very common surname in south India and is one of the Brahmin sects ! (Israeli friends who read this blog, Iyer is like the Levy's !)

Felt sorry for the guy who had to put up with being called Liar on the PA system..

Thursday
Nov102005

SpanTaLish - A new Language

Had done a post in my daughter's Tamlish - her Tamil mixed with English...

She has now created SpanTaLish (Spanish, tamil and english) thanks to Dora the Explorer programs.

Got a interactive DVD from the Library the other day where Dora teaches kids to say "Circulo" and "Triangulo" for Circle and Triangle.

When Dora asked her later to say "Map" to summon a map to find directions my daughter goes :

"Mapulo Dora "

I just burst out laughing.

Her current linguisic concept is very simple :

English -> Tamil you add "uu"
English -> Spanish you add "ulo"

Today she also coined some new relationships after watching Barney's Grand father, grand mother episode. She looked at a family photo and pointed out :

grand father
grand mother
grand brother
grand sister and
grand baby.

GO GRAND BABY !!