If you read this blog, you will know that I tore my right knee and have been recovering slowly for the last 4 months!
Intiially was just upset that I could not do every pose I am used to in Yoga class. Did try three classes in the last 40 days but every time I would push myself a little too hard and come home and go back to icing and set myself back. It was not the yoga. It was me not doing what I was told which was “listen to your body”. This happens to me even after a two week break from an India trip. I come back and see that my flexibility is not what is was two weeks ago and the first class back is a disappointment. Thought this was the same thing. It was not. The MRI showed a cartilage tear.
I weigh a 154 lbs. That means most of it is on my knees and ankles. 1/2 of it should go through my right knee at any point while standing and the entire weight when it is on one leg. When starting physiotherapy, was asked to have my feet flat against a plate and leg press 40 lbs and that made me cry.!
That surprised me given I stand and walk okay for 30-40 minute stretches without pain. Then it was explained to me that there is one weak point in my knee and if I stand walk or drive, I avoid putting pressure on that point by moving my weight to the outer part of my knee and feet. But even a small weight on the weak spot is enough to create intense pain.
Maybe all those years of ballroom dancing made me practice that weight distribtuion.. My dance teacher used to say ballroom folks have tendency to put weight on the outside of their feet while figure skaters put the weight on the inside of their feet. The dancing days are long gone but maybe it is a habit. Also have a tendency to walk with my leg like a V rather than a H and that was to be corrected slowly to help improve.
Week after week, slowly doing stationary cycling, leg pressing from 40 lbs to now 180 lbs with the leg flat, sitting on an imaginary chair with the back to the wall for 30 seconds at a stretch and doing that 30 times with breaks, clamshell exercises, walking and driving with a special knee brace etc., the leg is now slowly coming back to “normal”. Climbing stairs and driving still aggravate it, but there is no more swelling of the knee. No more stiffness that needs post care. I am also able to climb stairs and drive by using muscles all the way from my waist down to my ankle instead of sinking my weight on my knee all the time. Looks like the only time I was doing that before was in Yoga class when standing on one leg! Now I have to do that all the time.
My physio told me “for 98% of the people, what you have is more than normal”. Keep doing what I have taught you and come back end of November. The guy has grown on me. Initially I used to hate him for torturing me. He is a big man and he “puts my leg in some positions” even if I didn’t want them bent that way but he knew what he was doing. His promise to me was “you will go back to doing yoga in a few weeks once your leg is strong enough around that knee and you learn to redistribute your weight the right way consciously”. He also told me I was very flexible but not strong. He said “you have toned muscles but not enough muscle on either side of that knee”. Have been working on it for two months now. The whole of last week I walked and drove without the knee brace.
Today was a blessing with a holiday in the middle of the week. Went back to yoga after a long long break.
Talked to my teachers and told them that today was going to be the real deal.
“Start from scratch once again!” just like it says above the double doors we walk through every day at BYSJ.
Practiced yoga where I was not “taking it easy” but rather “moving gracefully with whatever I could do” just like the teacher adviced me before class. It was a fresh start with a new perspective. Came out feeling great physically and mentally.
Felt good to be back. Did all but three poses where I just stood there internalizing the dialogue for what I was supposed to do.. The right knee is still not ready to do a lateral bend. That is still a challenge while doing Tharpanam (realized that Sunday). Sit cross legged on the ground for an hour and cannot get up without help from someone. I would sit down and get up without using my hands before this tear. When I can sit down cross legged AND get back up without using my hands, that would be “normal’. Told my physio the first time I met that doing a toe stand was normal for me and showed him a photo.. and he just shook his head. “you can’t leg press 40 lbs and you want to go back to a toe stand ? and do Bruce Lee stuff!” .
Believe with all my heart that I will do a toe stand soon and maybe better that that one where my right knee is not low enough and my hands are not right. Hopefully by Jan 1st. Just have to work slowly every day and do Yoga and keep doing the squats and leg press business and bend that knee ever so slowly to the side a few millimeters a day.
The real yoga begins now!
If ever I am in a coma fighting for me life at any point, just drag my ass in that hospital bed by wheeling it into that hot room and let me listen to a teacher saying the dialogue. Thinking of doing yoga in my head is sometimes enough to revive me. At least that is what I feel.
Feel great just writing this post.
I am baaaack!!
ps. I weighed 154 when starting physio. Now I weight 163. That tyre around my waist has to disappear soon. The Deepavali savories are not helping. Think 20 grams of Badam Halwa become 40 grams of fat around my waist.
