A very special birthday

The last time I was in India for my birthday was three years ago. It was a memorable birthday spent with my collegemates at a reunion in Varanasi. 

The last time I was with my parents on my birthday was in 2003! 

Recently my dad fell down (again) with his Parkinsons and stubborness both advancing more or less equally. So I decided to come spend the thanksgiving week with my parents in Chennai. 

Was welcomed shortly after midnight by the immigration officer who was nice and greeted me but missed the fact that it was my birthday. 

Had a short nap after three back to back flights and went to see Kabali early in the morning. My mom gave me some money to go buy a shirt. She insisted. I happened to be the first customer for the store. They were delighted to have a very happy smiling temple going dude as their first customer and I got to pray with them again as they did the prayer to start business for the morning. 

My dad is definitely doing better, but I think he is going on some adrenalin rush in the happiness of seeing his son back. This is a happy post, so I will stay positive. He is walking a 100 steps today. That is a big deal given he was not moving three weeks ago.

Then my mom insisted on some mini vadai and payasam to celebrate.. pre-diabetic label be damned, I promptly dug in. 

This was followed by a whirlwind trip from old Cupertino to old Fremont (sorry.. Mylapore to West Mambalam)  with an auto in waiting to see San's grandparents.

This is definitely a more adventurous ride.. see the two timelapses below..

The day is still not over but I am happy that my parents are smiling today. 

Have a few more temples to visit and relatives to meet. It has been a different and great birthday experience this year. Thanks to everyone for the wishes on social media. 

Blast from the Past

No. we are not talking about my childhood here. We are skipping a generation.

During the recent India trip, my dad handed me some old photos which I had mailed him 16 years ago. Photos for which there were no negatives left because like an idiot, I had sent the negatives to India also and they were lost.

As a bonus he also handed me something from his shaving box (metal box which was his equivalent to my shoe box) and gave me things which he had preserved. Thought I should have it, because of my being internet and media savvy, this might be preserved in some form somewhere. Felt honored to receive his box!

One of those things in the box, was this old postcard he handed me, the only sample of his father's handwriting in his possesion. A letter written by my grandfather (who I never met! he had passed away when my dad was a teenager) in 1957.

It is tough when you lose your mother at 4 and your dad at 18 and all you have is a photo of your mom! My dad did have a tough hand dealt to him as the youngest of 12 kids but he made it through to lead a good life.

Now, here is the letter..

That is one bad handwriting!

Here is to dad. The letter has been pieced together to the best of my ability and is now digitized.

Tomorrow will be spent in zooming into the letter and trying to read it.

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Check List

Thanks for all your comments!

A follow up to Wish List...

A day with my dad where he gets to talk and I get to keep quiet for once

Check

Although it was a very emotional and tired dad who mostly gave me the "life is short, make sure you do this after my time... blah .. blah.." bit and I listened and then gave him a retaliatory lecture on why life is what happens when you play with grandkids at this age.. Yep Sujatha Ramesh was right on the previous comment. I do not stay quiet for long.

A day with my grandpa and grandma, put my head on her lap and sleep for a minute, even if only a minute, just like when I was a small kid, put my ear to grandpas tummy and listen to rumbling noises and giggle
Check

I could not say bye to my grandparents this time. It was too difficult. My grandpa keeps falling down into his imaginary chair and hurts himself one too many times a week. He has good days and bad days. Happened to catch this on one of his good days!

a trip to kapalishwar temple in mylapore with grandparents, share a goli soda with my brother, a paalgoa for each of us with a transluscent paper with the kapali temple on the paper in bright red, some kaara sevai from the ambika appalam depot, a stop at RUBY stores to buy a chandamama or champak, watch grandma bargain with the vegetable vendors

Check check check check .. . hmm lets see.. went with my mum and aunts, uncle , different people, different days and times (10AM, 4AM, 8 AM, 9AM) to see the "utsavam" where they carried the gods on various vahanams. You will get the complete Kabali Kovil Utsavam series over the weekend! here is a sample ..

a trip to the marina with my brother and sister and some soan papdi from the cute bell jar

No beach trip. Did buy some Soan Papdi from grand sweets for Jr. and the little one though

a jackie chan movie at alankar with my brother

Right now the only thing my brother is watching is angio scans on a CD. this has to wait for better times or just wait for time...

So do the next three things. Mom walks and stands enough in hospital waiting rooms. She was sooo tired after the trip to the utsavam on the "ther" day, it was hard to watch.

walking around the srigery mutt temple behind my mom

perform topaz blade surgery on my sisters dolls with my brother as assistant surgeon

watch my dad bargain with an autorickshaw driver for 15 minutes for a trip that might take him only ten

Dad does not have his bargaining voice back yet. He also cannot pull off that brick walk away from the auto with the "if you dont come down to my price, I am walking.." dialogue. My dad almost tangos with the auto driver.. it is a dance and the drivers do the sequence of negotiating in this weird way almost to humor themselves. This time every auto driver in the stand told me "enna saar.. appa-vukku attack vandhudche..avara romba miss pannarom saar!" and I went WTF? he is my appa, you guys talk as though he is yours! Guess the man touches peoples lives in ways I cannot understand.

fold clothes from the clothesline on the terrace and watch the kites

Check . No kites in April. fold clothes I did!

eat pori kadalai from Kapali kadalai Nilayam and savor it one rice grain at a time, and marvel at how some pori tastes a little bland, some a little salty and once in a while that single grain of arisi pori just tastes perfect!

Check. A full post on that later..

etc.

etc.

etc.

Some of these might come true soon in some form or other. The rest will be retreived from permanent memory, savored in otherwise sad times, and be neatly tucked back in, for the sights, sounds and smells of a time long gone are still in the head, with definition better than any blue ray disk can offer, better than any photo or video ever stored.

Life takes you places, but sometimes when it takes you to the same place, there is a certain magic to it!

At one point when the plane was half way across the pacific ocean, it felt like a "trishanku sorgam", neither here nor there, halfway from parents, halfway from kids.. too many words, too many emotions, tears that came from nowhere while sitting in the middle of a sea of people at 35000 feet, tears that could not be put in words or in the right context, because every thought as a parent came with an instant contradiction as a child and it all stopped after letting go of the whole thought process and just giving into the fact that not all questions have good answers. Not everything is right, or wrong.

Some decisions take you far physically, others take you far mentally. Have known people staying in the same house without as much as saying a word to each other for decades and people who care for each other very much living on opposite sides of the globe. All of us make choices and live with them and find brilliant ways to justify our day to day actions, from brushing or not brushing our teeth to deciding to have children to relocating to far off places.. and to everyone and nobodys bewilderment, life does go on.

All said and done, felt the magic. Still feeling it inside.

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Dad will be okay

Thanks to all for your wishes and prayers.

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