The end game..

A yoga post that was long coming.

2018 started with getting over the Flu. I was drinking Delsym at a minute before midnight on New Years eve. The last time I came back from Beijing, two days before X-mas, some bugs hitched a ride back with me or so I thought. So it took me till the 6th of January to go try Yoga again. Even on the 6th I was pretty weak and my plan was to go to anything but the front row and pace myself. There was a new teacher who keyed me in on the 6th and she had no idea it was my "come back class".

"A leopard cannot change its spots", or some such thing... Once I go through those double doors, I am like a new born that has been temporarily put back in the womb and I start kicking in my happy place. Put the mat in the last row and a second later move it to the third and after looking around the room and seeing there is a spot in the front row, moved it up to the mirror. My thoughts during those 90 or 100 seconds of mat moving cannot be summarized in this post. That could be a book in itself. You guys read this blog and you know I am good for it!

Came back the next day and my friend and teacher Jessica gave me a big hug and said "welcome back". She knew I was sick last two weeks but did not ask me anything more. That was probably her way of saying "you know what to do in the room, so I am not biasing you". At the end of the class, Jessica asks "60 day challenge?" like she was asking me if I would like some Gulab Jamun after a meal, and without giving it much thought, wrote my name on the sign up sheet. After that we didn't talk about it. I just came every day as usual, went to China as usual and did doubles on every weekend as usual, heard the sighs from wife and kids when they realized I was doing the challenge, as usual, and finished the Challenge.. and hopefully that becomes "as usual".

(there are better pics on BYSJ's Facebook page)

There was a Challenge party and we had some testimonials from folks who finished 60 classes in 60 days and they were all inspiring. We had to leave the party after an hour as the kids had to be taken to dinner.. as usual but this year we got to watch the other folks tell us about their journey on Facebook Live! I was telling the kids what Multiple Sclerosis was and after an inspiring story Jr. said she will come join me for classes again. Okay, she said "a class", but I am hoping it is going to be plural.

This year I am kicking out regularly in the standing head to knee pose and it is my new favorite pose.

There are alwasys graphs and charts for a 60 day challenge post..

There was a possibility of an earlier China trip, so I finished the challenge in 58 days and eventually did 61/60 when the trip was not pre-poned. If you think going to do Yoga more than 3 times a week is difficult think again. Coming back from a flu, going to Asia and back for a week in the middle of this, those were easy because I had done those before. One of the days, I had to drive past Sacramento area startign at 6AM, attend a meeting, come back at 5PM, chaired a meetign from 6 to 8 PM and still did yoga from 8:30PM-10PM just to keep challenge going. It is all doable. There are people who have debilitating issues who do the challenge and mine are nothing compared to those. Even if you don't do the challenge, it is okay. Come to the party to hear some really inspiring real life stories! 

Still tracking weight.. 

The excel file was started almost a year after starting Yoga and so far it has close to 2000 data points... (some of them blank)

Here is weight since 2012..

 If you notice the excel file there is a total class tracker. Have crossed 1500 classes and the best part is:

- Still suck at this

- Have not given up on it

- Even though my self assesment and self esteem take a beating in that mirror, the end result is positive because every day is usually better than the previous day

- this yoga keeps me grounded. Every now and then I get reminded that sooner or later gravity will win and I will be ashes, but till that day, going to fight gravity every day, every set.

- my teachers and fellow students seem to believe in me and root for me. they see more in me than I see myself and that is a blessing

- learn something new every day, be it class 1, 100, 1000 or 1506..always something new which brings me to class 1500

Have already posted about this special class with Yoga Professor Emeritus, Mary Jarvis. One class can sometimes change your view and attitude to things. This one definitely did for me.

It took me 4 classes after her talk, to give up water during Yoga class. The last one week have left the water bottle in the car. Sometimes I drink a sip or two on the way home. Mostly now I drink water a good 40 minutes after class is over. It is interesting.There is a sudden cool over my face and body and even on the insides while driving back after class. Kind of like what you feel when you drink regular water after chewing mint gum but it feels like ice water. Same thing except all over the body and this is new. Most likely has to do with the "no water during class".

Have also stopped fidgeting during class. No more subconscious wiping of sweat. No moving around mat with the bullshit excuse of trying to make it easy for people behind me who are also moving around, etc.

Currently trying to keep tummy sucked in from beginning of class till the first pose, and failing at it miserably. Confident that sooner or later that will change and can then go to other things that were taught.  

One funny thing Mary Jarvis mentioned during the special class which is replaying in my head?!

"the whole goal of doing this yoga is so you can sit in lotus pose without moving and meditate for long periods of time. This pose is almost a half lotus and this will eventually help you get to lotus!". She was telling the entire class that and I was thinking "What?! I can already sit in Lotus pose for long periods of time! Why am I doing this Yoga then? Shouldn't I do that instead?"

Maybe my Lotus sucks.. should make a bumper sticker that says "my lotus sucks" ? Maybe there is a market for it?  As a kid we used to sit in Lotus pose all the time. My kids here struggle because they are not used to sitting on the ground all the time. They have "criss cross applesauce" issues. Everytime we go visit the Livermore temple, I sit there for at least half an hour in silence before walking out. Used to do it at home also and manage to sit for 45 minutes. Two years ago I tried to time myself and made it once to 54 minutes. 

Maybe the key words were "long periods of time"! How long is long?!

After Mary's class, I wanted to try and see how long in lotus pose but with eyes closed and "no fidgeting". No movement "whatsoever".  Turns out it was 44 minutes 11 seconds as caught on timelapse video..

Technology is good. Daughter's iPhone for timelapse, my iPhone for timer, a clock in the background that catches the time "lapsing" and my legs that pretty much went blue after this time. Took me 3 minutes to be able to get up and walk again as the blood returned to my feet!

Doing 1500+ classes of 90 mintue Yoga and cannot even sit in one place without moving for one single hour! If that doesn't put things in perspective for you, don't know what will. There are folks who have stayed in the same place without moving for 1-3 days. I have been fortunate in this lifetime to meet multiple people who have done that and have heard from my grandpa that he has met people who have done the same. Folks who can slow down time... is how he put it.

Going to try doing this to see how long it takes to cross the one hour mark and eventually the 90 minute mark.

Yoga has helped me immensely this year. My stress at work is through the roof and if it were not for the Yoga to supplement the support from my wife and kids, I would not be functioning normally, or even functioning. 

A big heartfelt thanks to all my teachers at BYSJ for keeping me sane. You know who you are.. and if you don't know.. there is a graph for it also.

We have a lot of teachers, some are new, some traveling and teaching us for a month or for just one special class and the regular teaching staff. Every teacher gives it a 100% when it comes to doing the right thing for folks in class and all teachers who knew me, showed me no mercy during the challenge!

Well, it is almost time to go to one more Yoga class or as my wife would say "Kazhudhai ketta kutti suvaru!" ("if he is not home, he will be in Yoga class" is the loose translation).

Writing this post made me cheer up. Hope is you read this and are inspired to try a 60 day challenge!

Against all odds...

This is a Yoga post. Now that you know, it is also a 60 day challenge post.

Bikram Yoga San Jose (BYSJ) has a 60 day challenge every year in January through March. Recently we have a summer challenge as well between July and September. 

I have had the opportunity to take this challenge since 2013 and have finished 5 January challenges. I also tried the summer challenge two years ago and made 46 classes over the 60 day period with 3 international trips thrown in. Last summer, I didn't even bother to sign up. The same three trips were going to happen and doing a 60 day challenge in 42 days with 3 sets of jet lag thrown in was not practical. 

This year, I signed up. You could start any day from July 1st to 15th and from your date of start, you had to do 60 classes in 60 days. Before starting on the long Asia trip, put in my name on the sign up sheet and said "start date : July 15th". Came from India on 16th afternoon at 3PM and promptly went to the 6:30 PM class. Two 12 hour flights with a 4 hour break at Frankfurt on the tail side of the plane was killing my back. It was a good class from my French teacher who has a dark sense of humor. He cracked some joke about the challenge and I was not sure if he was being sarcastic or just practical. Came home thinking "let's put stickers on that board and see how far this goes". 

As it turned out, my family was still in India. So I went at 5:30AM and 8:30 PM almost every day and stocked up. Within a week, work pulled me back to Asia. This trip had a hospital visit in China thrown in thanks to a swollen eye. Managed to come back here without getting quarantined somewhere and my Kaiser doctor said "heat will actually help subside this swelling. you can go to hot yoga if you want". So kept going back to Yoga.

We were half way through and work pulled me to Asia again.

When my wife asked me "you are actually doing the challenge?" I sheepishly told her "I am already done with 45. I have 15 more to go. Currently 4 ahead, so when I come back next week, will be two behind. With your blessing over the next two weeks and a few doubles, I can actually do this!"

They were in disbelief. Given I did a lot of yoga after they went to bed or just before the kids went to bed or before they even woke up in the morning, they didn't realize how much yoga was happening!

Another week in Asia, but this time came back in one piece and healthy.

Once you are at 45 classes, the family roots for you and gets you going. So they let me get away with a few more doubles. Then came a shocker. I was 5 away from finishing and there was a chance that I might have to catch a plane over the weekend on day 58. Was definitely not going to stop with 57/60. So I did a few back to back classes on Friday nights and over last weekend and finished the challenge with two days to spare.

60 classes in 44 days, if you exclude the travel days and having to finish ahead because of potential travel. Odds were definitely slim, but there was some odds, no? When you thinks the odds are stacked against you, take those odds. Challenge it. Who knows, you might actually make it. If you give up before trying, you never know what is possible. That was the big lesson for me. 

Doing the yoga, working hard in class, breathing etc. are not the challenge these days. Balancing work, home, yoga is the challenge. Once I go through the double doors, I kill myself at every opportunity and try to find my new edge.  Have lost all shame when it comes to falling down.  Just focus on listening to the words and reacting with my body. I really don't give a shit what others think about my balancing anymore when I fall out. Just get up and keep going and tell myself two things:

1. I am there for me

2. every day is different

Getting to the yoga class is the hardest thing. Have done 195 yoga sessions this year by September and this has been the worst travel year so far in my career. It is true what they say. If you have time do yoga for 90 minutes a day. If you don't have time, then do yoga for 3 hours a day, because you need the yoga more than you need the time. It keeps your co-workers safe from your insanity. At least it does for me!

This time most of my classes were 8:30 PM. A quiet group of people who come to the last class of the day. Most of them tired and looking beat. Did make a few new friends at 8:30PM and we chat about the challenge and the Yoga few minutes before class. There is no "after-class" chats at 10PM.. everyone just rushes out, including me, which is understandable. 

Also had the fortune of meeting two new teachers. One of them told me in a class "be kind to yourself. don't be too hard on yourself. the one person who can take good care of you, is you!" That stuck with me. So these days while I do push myself, I back off if there is sharp pain of any kind. The other teacher said "you survived my class" and that was interesting. "I survive in every class"  was going to be my response. Turns out she survived breast cancer last year and the yoga helped her a lot. Was listening to her story and on my drive back home was telling myself "SHE is a survivor.. you are hanging in there after a long day. There is a big diffrence! Just go back tomorrow at 5:30 AM and get this done!" Both these teachers were amazing because they made the group work as one. They really focussed on everyone starting and stopping the poses at the same time. When you do that as a group, your energy level goes up and as a collective we do much better than when everyone is doing their own thing. 

While doing 60 classes in 44 days with multiple international trips thrown in, looks like a big deal because it is a "time management" issue, there is a lady who did it in 30 days. She just came every day for "back to back doubles" 30 days in a row and said "I finished". Apparently she also had a time management issue. 

It is doable if you can manage to push yourself. To all those people who are thinking of starting Yoga, or getting back into Yoga class, will tell you this. Just start and try a 60 day challenge. Put that first sticker on the board (we now have smiley face ones instead of stars!) and another one and another one. Before you know it, they add up to 60! 

The nerd in me has to do graphs and charts.. so here are three that summarize what a successful summer challenge looks like for me.

Weight.. the weight.. over this challenge and over the entire data tracking history..

it is stable over 60 day periods. other than that, someday will do a much more detailed analysis on this data to see what else is there to find. 

On a final note, this time I had to miss the 60 day Challenge party. Given it was my first time making it in summer, it was a hard thing to try and be at two places at once. My niece was doing her first solo performance in the bay area after her Solo debut in India over the summer and I wanted to go take pictures of her performance. She did not disappoint. Sometimes you are torn between two things and the yoga actually helps you come to terms wtih your decisions, even if that decision is to skip a yoga class or a Challenge party!

This morning I got my T-shirt for completing the challenge from Michelle..Michelle seems to have figured out how not to age! Have a picture with her almost every year since 2013 and she seems to be frozen in time while the rest of us age gracefully, but still age!

This was 2013! 

This was 2015.. (I have to find the rest of the pictures) 

 and this morning!

Have to learn how to do this "I care and I don't at the same time" thing she does. Sure it is her secret to not aging!

Next challenge is Januray 2018. If you read this and are intersted in doing the challenge with me, let me know. We can sync up class times and go cheer each other through the 60 days! It doesn't matter if you finish. Sign up and keep putting those stickers up.

In the meantime, the Yoga journey continues.. as do the travels!

The day after...

This year saw another 60 day challenge at BYSJ and I did finish it. There was a time when odds of finishing the challenge looked bleak. There was an international business trip for a week, then San went to India and was gone for 10 days and there were days with meetings in the morning, noon and night that made it very difficult to wake up before 5AM and go to class. 

There were a lot of doubles over weekends that enabled the count. A nerd has to do his nerduty! So here is a typical 60 day challenge in our house.. (you have to click to see the comment clouds)

It almost always has the same highlights as far as our reactions. This year started with me picking an "angel card" at BYSJ. It said ..

Harmony gave me some thought. The idea is to remember this word and try to think of this word when you are in tricky situations, before walking into the yoga room, and keep it in your mind for the entire year and see if it makes a difference in your life. 

A few days after picking the card, made it a minute before class started. I always make sure that people behind me can see at least a sliver of themselves in the mirror. This time given I was going in front of folks, looked back at the lady in the last row and she gave me a thumbs up. A yoga mat is still 2 feet wide and one can move within the mat to accomodate and I was constantly making an effort to be on mat's edge. At the end of the class another woman comes up to me and says "you should not do that. even if she says she is okay with it, you need to give her more room".. or something to that effect. For a second, I was going to tell her all about my mat edge exercise and how the woman got a lot more than a sliver etc. etc. Then I remembered "Harmony"! So I said "thank you" and came out with a win-win feeling. The harmony thing works at home in a lot more situations with the wife, but not with the kids and it definitely does wonders at work. I have significantly curbed my urge to do bad things to some of my colleagues. 

There are many things I learned during this challenge, thanks to my teachers and friends who pushed me and taught me things that go beyond the poses. During my "I am not sure if I can keep going through with this phase", one of my teachers comes up to me while I am breathing and touched the place where my stomach starts and says "tuck your tummy in". After class I tried to correct him by saying "this... is my tummy!" and he laughed. He said "no my friend. you need to tuck here!".  

A picture is worth a 1000 words.. this one is worth a 1000 classes.

Yes. After making it into that hot room for more than a 1000 classes, I was working hard and sucking up my gut.. but not in the right place! The next 10 days was a real struggle to "undo things in Live mode" in every class. It is incredibly hard to breathe when you pull that part in, once you figure out how to do it in the first place!

My best poses became non-existant and some other poses became a revelation. A lot of my teachers were wondering "what is up with this guy. He is in the first row and struggling". I wanted to move back to the last row just like in my beginner days and slowly move back up to the front, but my teacher said "No. That would be a bad move. Stay in front of the mirror and do your best!". So stay I did and watched in agony as I failed and failed for almost two weeks. Then I got it!  Maybe I did not have certain muscles to do it earlier and they developed in two weeks.. who knows! That was the big revelation over this challenge.

There were many things that kept me going during that phase in the hot room. A 74 year old wheel chair bound grandma with Parkinsons, started coming to class. At first she was outside the room, then she was wheeled inside the room for the first half of class, soon she made it 90 minutes in the chair, then she started bending her hands down while in the chair, and after 30 days she was able to stand up and hold the wall and try poses.. now she walks! The support she got from her son, family and teachers was incredible. There were so many times the entire class clapped and cheered when she did what we all thought was impossible!

Yet another miracle, right in front of our eyes. Every day I see that grandma, I wish my grandma or my mom could have come to the hot room instead of undergoing surgery after surgery for replacing joints! If DNA that I have inherited is any indication, chances are my knees and hips are going to give out a lot earlier than the average person and I might get the shakes like my dad. My sincere hope is that doing yoga will postpone the inevitable.. 

The last thing about any challenge is to go do Yoga outside the room. When I packed my mat on day 61, my wife and kids were saying "What?! we just let you go 60 days and accomodated you a lot and cheered you. Can you take a break now. Why do you want to go today?"

My response was "do you see the guy who runs the 5000 meter race in the Olympics? after he wins and crosses the finish line, someone hands him a flag and he keeps running another two laps with the flag, all happy and smiling! he is not going as fast, but he is still going strong and keeps running! Today is my victory lap. I can go in without worrying about finishing the challenge and smile through the class, have a great time!"

They actually understood that. I also had a great 61st class.. and 62nd and 63rd class, and will keep going till travel catches up again. 

They always tell you "the real yoga begins when you walk out of that door". Both our girls went on one week trips as part of science camp on different weeks. 

Jr. went to Yosemite and the litte one went to Santa Cruz. We were really worried and thinking about the kid that was away a lot.. They both came back exhausted but happy and it was wonderful listening to them talk about their trips. The little one picked up knitting and is now making everyone scarves and beanies. 

Here is the arabian beanie meanie.. 

and yes.. I tried growing a beard over 20 days during the challenge, in an attempt to get the girls to get grades in return for shaving it off. The blackmail exercise did not work as they showed me that they are better at blackmailing me! It was three girls against the beard and they won!

The yoga does begin after we step out. Harmony is all about wearing your kids pink blankie and the beanie she just made for you and feeling on top of the world that there is so much love in your life!

Resistance is futile

Recently, one of my favorite yoga teachers told the class "what are you resisting right now? find out and let it go. it is like driving. you see the red light. you want it to be green, but it is not. it is red. you are all tense. if you accept it is red and relax till it becomes green you are much better off. I used to tense up at red signals.. now I acccept. whatever it is you are resisting, be it the fact that your water bottle is almost empty, something at work, some local tension in your body.. let it go!" 

At first I was worried for the teacher because this dude is very happy go lucky and for a few seconds I saw a side of him that I have not seen before... a very philosophical deeply introspective person. There was a seriousness in his eyes when he said it that was a "I have been here, done that and I am not saying this to be taken lightly"

The very next day, another favorite teacher of mine comes back to the hot room. Have missed him the last three months because every day when I start doing the standing bow, I will start wrong and correct myself and would think of this guy. The last two three weeks, there is no correcting, but that tells you that any changes to the practice over the last many years has a 2 month plus time to take permanence. It is not easy to break habits. 

So "El Fuego" shows up and is watching me.. he even remembers what he told me before leaving and at that moment I get "teacheritis". It is a condition where the fact that the teacher is watching you makes you conscious, and you try to do the best you can be, over do it, and fall off in a small heap on your mat.

After a few attempts I pulled off what was the best standing bow to date and he comes and pulls my leg and hand "up" and says "you have fixed the hand to chin and the kick, but now you are too down and you push your hip out in the last moment.. start working on that"

It is going to be another two months to get that one down!

As for resistance, that part is absolutely true. You can go from San Jose to San Francisco in the same car and spend different amounts of gas depending on how you drive. If you drive without constant braking, you get better gas mileage and don't wear off your brake pads. If you speed up and slow down with minimal use of the brakes, it is a much more comfortable ride.

My recent experiences in the yoga room are all about the brakes. I can do the poses. Have significantly improved over the last year. Can also do the class without sighing or any heavy breathing. So the breathing is getting better. The real issue is to focus and be in the room instead of having the mind wander.

Takes me 20 minutes sometimes to forget work, home, the guy who tailgated me for no reason etc. before the class. Then when we get down on the floor and are lying on the mat looking at the glass or ceiling, it is the little corrosion behind the mirror, the one tile that is slightly off on the ceiling, or an ant that is about to die when my 747 lands on it (we fly like planes in the yoga room at one point). 

Have been working consciously to reduce this 20 minutes down. So far it is ~5 minutes.

If that 5 minutes can come down to a few seconds, that would be awesome!

Hathayoga Mathayoga…

2015 is almost done. Today I updated the excel spreadsheet again to review how this year went compared to previous years, as far as Yoga goes..

This year it was 209 so far. That is the best in the last three years! This year also saw 87 travel days. Very happy with this years push to do more Yoga personally and with the way my family pushed me to keep going. 

 

4 days a week should count as "regular" attendance..

and finally the weight tracking... something seems to be off.. I still track my weight after class every day but the weight is now stabilzing around 148 instead of 142. Either I have a new normal or the weighing machine that is ten plus years old has an issue and we need to buy a new one. The wife and kids are thrilled at the prospect of the new machine theory.  

Well, Jr. was supposed to take videos of me doing standing bow and toe stand.. which are two of my favorite poses, but she took pictures instead of videos.

Chin to dimple in shoulder contact works magic compared to cheek in dimple of shoulder, but when you take pictures, the truth always shows! 

The leg seems to be up a lot more now. Calling that as a response to "get your body parallel to the ground" is an insult to my 8th Grade geometry teacher! 

This one though, I like. Can lift off 3 to 4 inches off the heel now and have also managed to have the thighs parallel to the ground and the spine straight. Working on doing this on the right side to match the left.

The one thing that no graph will tell? Kicked out my leg (only left leg) to go from step 1 to step 2 in the "standing head to knee" pose a total of three times this year. Locked the knee for a full 60 seconds only ten or so times.

2016 resolution is to "Lock the knee" for a full 60 seconds and kick that leg out! 

Have become a true believer in the concept of "eventually"!

There are a lot of things that happen in the hot room that were really "not me" five years ago. Based on that, have realized that things happen if one keeps making incremental progress. So there is confidence on locking that knee... even if it doesn't happen in 2016, it will happen...

eventually!

ps. Jr. and the little one would actually like to see me do a standing split. Even that can happen.. eventually!