A very special birthday

The last time I was in India for my birthday was three years ago. It was a memorable birthday spent with my collegemates at a reunion in Varanasi. 

The last time I was with my parents on my birthday was in 2003! 

Recently my dad fell down (again) with his Parkinsons and stubborness both advancing more or less equally. So I decided to come spend the thanksgiving week with my parents in Chennai. 

Was welcomed shortly after midnight by the immigration officer who was nice and greeted me but missed the fact that it was my birthday. 

Had a short nap after three back to back flights and went to see Kabali early in the morning. My mom gave me some money to go buy a shirt. She insisted. I happened to be the first customer for the store. They were delighted to have a very happy smiling temple going dude as their first customer and I got to pray with them again as they did the prayer to start business for the morning. 

My dad is definitely doing better, but I think he is going on some adrenalin rush in the happiness of seeing his son back. This is a happy post, so I will stay positive. He is walking a 100 steps today. That is a big deal given he was not moving three weeks ago.

Then my mom insisted on some mini vadai and payasam to celebrate.. pre-diabetic label be damned, I promptly dug in. 

This was followed by a whirlwind trip from old Cupertino to old Fremont (sorry.. Mylapore to West Mambalam)  with an auto in waiting to see San's grandparents.

This is definitely a more adventurous ride.. see the two timelapses below..

The day is still not over but I am happy that my parents are smiling today. 

Have a few more temples to visit and relatives to meet. It has been a different and great birthday experience this year. Thanks to everyone for the wishes on social media. 

We all have our reasons

A conversation from our recent India trip

Me to the kids : I want you guys to keep your mouth shut and come quietly till we go to Kollu paati's (great grandma's) house!

Jr. and LO : No, we won't!

My dad to me : I know the kids have been very noisy and troublesome all day but it is very difficult to keep them quiet..

Jr. and LO : You always ask only the two of us to keep quiet. You don't ask him (pointing at my nephew) to be quiet when he comes with us..

Me : That is because he does not talk with an American accent and increase my auto fare!

My dad (all pissed off) : And I thought you wanted peace and quiet. Aren't you ashamed ?

Me : No. Why should I be.. I bargain with the auto drivers like I am a local and that makes me feel at home for some strange reason, till one of them opens their mouth and start talking in an accent and there goes all my bargaining! Immediately the guy asks for another 30 rupees over 120! Spending 600-700 rupees a day on auto is not cheap even in $!

My dad must have had very conflicting emotions that day. Should he be proud for raising a son in his true Bargaining parampara, or should he be disappointed that his son is making him look like a spendthrift ?!

It was only a question of time before my nephew also started letting me down by bringing in fresh conversation in Tamil like

"Sundi periappa, Americavula Auto irukka?" (do they have autos in America?)

என்ன தான் வேஷ்டியை மடிச்சு கட்டிநாலும் ஆக்சென்ட் ஆக்செண்டே !

(Enna dhan veshtiya madichhu kattinallum accent accente!)

(Attempted translation: no matter how much you tie your dhoti like a Tamilian, the accent will give you away)

But I did good this time compared to last year in what should soon be an Olympic sport.

When an auto driver said
"Maambalam ponum na suttikinnu dhan sir poganum!" (if you want to go to Mambalam, I have to go the roundabout route) I responded with

"Chennaila engendhu engayaachum ponummna, suththaama poga mudiyaadhu saar!" (you cannot go from any place to any other place in Chennai without going the roundabout route) and he said "okay, let's go"

Another time a guy said "petrol price up saar" and I promptly quoted him yesterday's price and today's price and he was baffled.

He said

"சார், நீ கார் வைச்சிருக்கே , அப்புறம் எதுக்கு சார் ஆட்டோல வரே?"

"Saar, nee car vachchu iruke. Apparom yen saar autola vare?"
(you have a car then why are you traveling by auto with your kids?"

Told him we were from Mumbai and know the petrol prices because every day we were traveling by auto and invariably they stopped at a petrol pump while we are inside the auto and that is how we know the price. He was impressed..

These little wins in the sport of bargaining made my day. At the end of the day we would always give the driver 10 rupees more than what we agreed on as long as it was fair. This whole experience was new to Jr. who is now 8+ and is at an age where she can

1. follow the math (because she now knows how to count numbers in Tamil and english)
2. follow the conversation (she has been introduced to Auto Tamil)
3. she knows the existence and concept of "variable pricing"
4. she understands averages and LCM's

Last year, she would go to the driver and say "sixty vachchuko pa!" in her cute American accent and that would make the auto driver's day because she would quote 60 for something that would cost us only 40 and two the accent would take the auto driver into a

"saar, foreignlendhu vare.. edukku saar beram pesikkinu?!"

சார், பாரின்லேந்து வரே.. என்னத்துக்கு சார் பேரம் பேசிகின்னு ?!

(you come from abroad and why are you bargaining.. the assumption being we are well to do and therefore should not bargain)

By the end of the trip, Jr. realized that her keeping her mouth shut was an advantage for me. She co-operated very well.

Next trip we will make her bargain, in Tamil and make my daddy proud..

or at least make me proud!

.

Traffic

Saw this cover story in the latest Businessweek. The article was jointly written by a person in the USA and one in Mumbai, about Bangalore. So, I am sure there will be debates on the post.

After my recent experience in India, I have started proof reading my posts. Just to make sure that anything that I write that has even a slight tinge of negativity is explained fully in context!

While I was in India, I had mentioned the traffic jam caused by a dead body procession during peak time (5:30 PM!). Had also promised the video clip as part of a long video of the entire India experience. Have to disappoint the readers on that mega video. I recently changed jobs and it has been a very busy month. Posting photoblogs takes only a few minutes but editing 60 or so video clips and making a mini movie is a time consuming exercise. Hope it will happen sometime next month!

So here is the video of the traffic jam by itself:

I wanted to post this because, we typically blame Politician's motorcades, public utilities digging up roads or religious gatherings for Traffic problems. This is a tricky one though! You have to get the dead body out and it has to be at a certain time (after consulting the stars etc.) and the guys have to carry it on their shoulders! That means they need a pedestrian route that does not impact traffic!!

There is a pedestrian walkway on either side of this subway, but it is not wide enough for four guys carrying a body. Guess this is one thing the city planning guys have to take into consideration as part of their overpass (flyover) building strategy!!

Normally, I would have been very pissed off with the whole proceedings, while sitting in that auto, were it not for Jr.'s questions for which I didnt have any answers!

Enjoying India.. especially Singaara Chennai..

Looks like the previous post on Jr.'s little autorickshaw adventure, is getting some flame..

I had posted this in September 2006!! So, all too familiar with pedophilia in US of A, that too right in our backyard !

I wasn't trying to make a spin (positive or negative) of the whole experience. I was trying to caution careless dad's like me, who let go of their kid's hands in the street while bargaining for auto's. If I had to write a post on why we bargain for autos from 120 rupees down to 70 to go from Adyar to Mambalam, it would be too long a post, and it would definitely start a comment war or sorts, so I am not going to do that..

The mistake of letting her hand go was mine and I did own up to it ! The reason for cautioning other dads was,

1. do not let your kids go out of reach, period!
2. or at least teach them a local phone number! My daughter knows her address, my cell phone number and where mom, dad work, etc. etc.. She could even direct you to our house by saying "go right, go left..etc" if she was in the local area. But in Chennai, those dont help. We have to teach her the local phone number and address here, just to be safe !

Hope that clarifies things...

As for enjoying India, we are all very much enjoying India.. We invariably always do.. We come here knowing about the mosquitos, the pollution, the autorickshaws, etc. etc. These are small things which we get used to within the first 24 hours of our stay here. After all, I was born and raised in this city and every street, every street corner brings back a flood of memories ! How could you not enjoy it ? The only reason for quoting the Delhi child abuse, was that after Jr.'s adventure, everyone around me (relatives and friends who live here) quoted it and said "things are not the same here anymore..so be careful"..

Getting adjusted to these things is easy. It takes me more time to get adjusted to "raagu kaalam", "yama kandam", "kari naal", etc. etc. in my house. This morning I was about to step out for a haircut and almost started world war III. Apparently haircut on friday's is bad for your mom's longevity, and considering the main reason for this trip was to speed up mom's post surgery recovery by showing her the grandkids, everyone cried "Sacrilege!". In the interest of helping other dads, I have taken the liberty of compiling this list..

Day Bad for

Friday : mom
Thursday : dad
Wednesday : brother
Monday : Sister
Tuesday : First cousins second cousins aunty
Sunday : First cousins second auntys dog (or cat)
Saturday : Safe day !!

(ps. except for the friday part, I made up the rest..I am sure they are bad for someone or other!)

So, that said, all are happy and enjoying our last week here.. Today, we were stuck in traffic in Doraiswamy road. Reason ? a dead body procession at peak traffic time! Jr. couldn't understand the concept. I have videotaped the traffic congestion caused by this procession and the procession itself, including the guys dancing in front of the body! Will add it to the long videoblog that is in the works..

India is India. You can't beat this experience..

Dazed and confused..

Last night, Jr. decided to sit herself in some local autorickshaw that was outside the house..We were still bargaining with the three auto's that were in the stand, while she thought that our bargaining was done and decided to sit down inside.

The driver had no clue that a little girl had gotten inside and he started driving away. Luckily, some other local auto stand members saw a little girl with her pooh bear blanket and clueless look all by herself in the back of an auto and flagged the driver.

When he made the U turn, one of the local drivers recognized Jr. and brought her back to the stand. My first impulse was to give her a spanking she will remember for the rest of her life! but all I could do was cry.

This should be a warning to all other parents who are bringing their 3-4 year olds to India.
(line removed on suggestion from sane blogger)..

Hopefully Jr. will behave the rest of the trip!

People : I got more flame and support mail for this post because of one single line.. I was judged more based on NV's comment than on my mistake.

I have removed all the comments. If you took time to write those comments, I apologize.