Combining two interests

Yoga and Photoshop..

call it what you want, but these two pictures were a good time pass.

Jr. volunteered to take the individual shots. She said it was more fun to keep clicking and watch me do yoga than have to do the Yoga herself.. also she got to yell "body down, stretch forward" a few times. (had taught her to repeat the right keywords at the right times to motivate me). 

One of my teachers Matt always tells me "Sundar, you have to take it one millimeter at a time. Trust the process. It is a process. Go for progress instead of perfection". Every word is etched in my head. 

Being a process engineer by background, this Process is asymptotic and can be imperceptible on a day to day basis.. but, a millimeter a day adds up to 36.5 centimeters a year.. that is more than a foot! That assumes you come every day. Sometimes a weeks break can reset you more than 7 millimeters.. but that is another story. 

If you keep going and practice routinely, you can see the millimeters add up.

Will leave you with these two pictures of the half moon pose backbend 

and standing bow pose

both of which were incredibly difficult for me to do as a beginner and as a regular student in every class.. Was probably going back or forward only to the first step you see in the pictures. Today can do slightly better than the lowest bends in these pictures given all the poses we do prior to doing this (in heat) compared to directly jumping into it without any warm up at home. 

Matt was right.. those millimeters all add up over the years. 

All that said summer is always a tough time to keep up the regularity of the practice. So the process takes an erratic path and some semblence of regularity is regained in fall.

Was originally going to spot the 10+ things wrong in every pose, but today has been a good day. So instead I took a different approach, admired my handiwork on photoshop and decided all those things can wait. 

They are going to take a lifetime to fix.. and I am surprisingly okay with it!

Hope all of you got to do or try some Yoga on International Yoga day on Thursday. If you tried it for the first time, hope you had a lifechanging experience and you keep coming. If you got your regular yoga done, go you! 

It takes an inner will to be absolutely selfish to go do Yoga on a regular basis. The only way you can take care of others if you take care of yourself first. 

A very special day

Last year, the kids made me choose between spending time with them for "Father's day" or going to the usual yoga class. 

This year, thanks to the UN and Narendra Modi and a billion other folks, today is International Yoga day. So the rest of the world called me to wish a happy father's day, my MIL called me to wish me a "happy Yoga day" and we knew that there was no skipping yoga.

After class the dads get roses! First kid to hug me (after I showered of course) was going to get the rose.. but they were both very quiet. Apparently they had just made the cards and the cards were still wet!

Loved the cards. They are both doing great in the arts department.

Then we had lunch and we saw a note from the yoga studio that said "post pictures of dads doing yoga with their kids". San lined up the camera and initially the kids were reluctant and conscious of their poses.. but then they opened up nicely and were all smiles!

We have many pictures of these two trying yoga poses from years ago.. 

They decided to try the Triangle pose 

 Yes.. we have a few pentagons there.. but they can be fixed in time. The little one has had a growth spurt of sorts. Even after explaining the difference between a triangle and a pentagon, the little one goes "I am doing exactly what you are doing! so stop correcting me!". 

If there is one thing I have to teach her in life, it is "how to learn".

Step 1: Listen to your teacher

Step 2: Don't say "I already know!"

Step 3: Follow instructions to the best of your ability and understanding

After many an aborted takeoff...

We finally flew together. San did a great job and kept clicking in hopes that there will be at least one photo of these poses that will have all three of us doing the same thing. The girls kept joking, laughing and giggling throughout 

Their smiles made my day!

Finally Jr. suggested we try to sit in lotus pose and lift our bodies off the ground. Have been trying to get them to sit in lotus pose, even if for a few seconds to a minute, few times a week. 

They did it with a smile! 

Wishing everyone out there a very happy Father's day and Yoga day!

Another year of yoga

2014 saw me do three (or two depending on who you ask) things

1. Travel a lot for work and figure out ways to cope with that schedule wise

2. Do yoga whenever possible while home and figure out ways to adjust that into the schedule

3. Do the usual things at home when possible (San would give me a D- for that this year.. the kids might give me a B- given they are partial to me)

Travel for work is not a topic for this blog till I start my next gig whenever that might be. The usual things at home do get a blog post or two with a lot less frequency.. that leaves Yoga!

This is an engineer trying to summarize yoga stats. So this post has to have some graphs and charts!

As usual the goal was to try and do Bikram Yoga at least 200 times this calendar year and yet again, I fell short of that goal. Yoga is a process and one gets the benefit as long as one tries in all sincerity. So from that standpoint, will give myself an A+

Can honestly tell myself that I went to the Yoga room at every possible opportunity this year. Given my travel days, the 50% attendance this year is like a 80+ % attendance. It was better than last year.. (just realized that the graph for last year was overwritten by mistake).

For those math geeks, the reason for the double lines is that on some days I did two classes and that messes up the graph.. 

This year it was 181 classes since Jan 5th.  Last year it was 194.. Next year.. again the goal is to go 200 times.. It may be time to find hotels close to Bikram Yoga studios in my travel locations. 

Now for the weight tracking..

Started off flat. After the India trip the weight that was added on seems to have stayed permanently! Either that or the weighing machine had some midway calibration issue when we came back from India and we replaced the battery. It is now holding steady at 149+/-1 lbs when last year it was 143+/-1 lbs for the most part. 

Going to keep collecting this data. Someday someone who decides to do research in Bikram Yoga and weight stability might use this data! 

This year, there was one special "posture clinic" class that I got to attend in October. When I walked into the studio that say and saw that there were only five people who had shown up for that special 2 hour class with the head teacher at BYSJ, was expecting to have the class cancelled. Michelle showed up inspite of her busy schedule organizing the California Yoga Championship and spent more than the alloted 2 hours teaching the five of us little things to remember that improved our postures. 

Something she said that day stuck with me. She said "look at yourself in the mirror. You might not like everything you see there. Some of you look conflicted all the time. It is time to let go of things that you don't like and improve on the things you like when you stare at yourself!"

Today I went for the last class of 2014. Looked at myself in the mirror and saw two people. There is a nice do-gooder spiritual guy on the one side fighting a vice presidential asshole on the other. One of them has to go or a better compromise has to be reached. 

There is also the guy who is happy to just be in the room giving his 110% who has to reconcile with the guy who is perpetually unhappy with falling down, losing the breath or have a symetry mismatch.

Sharing two pictures taken by Jr. this year. (It is good to take pictures of yourself every now and then to see little details)

This is my favorite pose. It takes me all my will power to do this pose knowing that within a few seconds we are all going to be flat on the floor. Can only raise by body clear off my right toe. On the left toe, it is not perceptible. 

The other pose that has frustrated me this year is the Camel pose. Have fallen forward and almost hit the ground more than 10 times this year. Something has to be fixed somewhere. 

Jr. snapped three photos of me doing Camel pose from three different angles. This is a collage of those three shots. The symmetry is off. Something that you cannot realize while doing the pose because you think you are doing it right when reality is far off..

The good thing is that there is no deadline to get any of this to perfection as it is a moving target. It is a "process" and "eventually" this body will find the right balance. 

My FIL asked me last week "Sundar, you are going on all these hikes. Has the yoga helped make things easier? Are you feeling younger?"

My sincere answer was "I am growing older and my body is dealing with that. Yoga is maintaining a status quo! It is not helping me get younger.. but it is helping me not feel older. It is relative!"

Not saying this will work for everyone or this is easy. It has worked and continues to work for me. Maybe it is a good match for my personality and somehow improving on the same routine day after day is something that I can accept as a challenge while others cannot. Maybe the SPC charting guy in me with a manufacturing quality mindset is a perfect match for Bikram Yoga. It is possible.. 

but work, it did! 

Thankful that there is a Yoga studio within 10 minutes from home which stays true to the original Bikram Yoga where a guy like me can still get continued encouragement from teachers and fellow students!

Here's to 2015 and the continuation of the "process"!

Wishing all of you a wonderful 2015. May the next year bring you all that you desire that you know in your heart is actually good for you!

Difference in Yoga, a shorts does make!

Two weeks ago, just before walking into Bikram Yoga class, was offered a free Yoga shorts, in return for a review of the shorts! 

First off, when you walk into Bikram Yoga class the one obvious disparity anyone can see is in the clothes (or what is left of it) that the women and men wear. The women have perfect fitting, nicely stretching, colorful clothes thanks to an entire industry that caters to the Yoga clothes for the ladies. In spite of this, the women are not necessarily happy.. No matter what their size I do see that the women have much better apparel! 

The men on the other hand come in their underwear for crying out loud, which you cannot even do in the silence of the Yoga room! The options are horrible.

When I first knew that Yoga was going to be a big part of my life (read third yoga class.. I kind of make up my mind fast on these things and they somehow work, like I married Sangeetha 7 days after seeing her and... okay off topic already.. Take 2)

When I first knew that Yoga was going to be a big part of my life, went to the local stores to find suitable shorts. To my dismay there were no "active Yogawear" for men at any of the stores. Only for the ladies! So when an old colleague jokingly asked me "so what do you wear to the yoga class? pink panties?!", I didn't even have a sarcastic answer ready! Then after much searching, found that Dolfin brand swimming shorts did the trick. Over time have bought 5 of the same shorts with reducing waist sizes with blue, green or red bands on the side (the shiny band has earned the name Jigna Jetty from the Little one). To Dolfin's credit, they make swimwear. When you are swimming, there is no squeezing between your legs at any time! So this review does not to say Dolfin is bad. Those shorts are very durable and have gone to hundreds of wash cycles and are still intact!

After all that, I now had a "sample" in my hands!

Was so glad for two reasons. 

1. Someone made an effort to create a yoga shorts for men

2. Someone thought my opinon was worth it! They dared ask for feedback.

Promptly wore it for that class and the first thing that hit me was the fabric. So soft! The next thing that hit me was the way it looked in the mirror! Remember the blouse that old Tamil movie heroines used to wear? There would be a pocket for their nipples?! Think same thing except for the privates. They had created a webbed pocket so the dudes cohones are free and not squeezed.  I got some funny looks from the folks on either side of me, but I told them "I am trying out a free sample for a review".. In short, I had transformed into an underwear model! 

The class was amazing for many reasons. For the first time I was able to move "freely" on the big backbends and the deep forward bends. After 2 1/2 years, locked me knee for the first time doing Padahasthasana.

You are supposed to have "no gap" between your chest and your thighs on this one. The photos here were taken after a yoga class by the budding Yogagrapher aka Little One. Was not warmed up and went into the pose to the best of my ability with two different shorts and asked her to click. I did lock my knee in that class (you can see me almost get there in the new shorts) and it was only because there was no pressure on my privates from the shorts stretching over. No wonder then that the ladies always ace this pose!

Old (above) vs. new (below)! Touching the floor with your head directly at the center of the line between your feet? Easy, when your shorts is not inducing excruciating pain in certain parts! 

I also did not keep fidgeting and pulling my shorts down after every pose. This one did not ride up and down and that made the class more enjoyable.  The shorts also did not feel heavy after being fully soaked in sweat. 

Also saw a marked difference in doing the Eagle pose which is the worst when it comes to pressurizing your groins. 

The funny part was when I came back home and the little one saw me walk in. She kept laughing at my new shorts because of the protuding front pocket! 

All said and done, these folks are on to something. If they can make this pocket "not so obvious" by connecting this to the thigh area, this is the perfect shorts for men! 

Given that

- it is not my problem that my shorts look funny

- that everyone is there in Yoga class for themselves

- other folks are not supposed to distract you (in theory),

wearing this to class every now and then! 

There, my first review of something I never would have dreamt of reviewing! 

Was told that the maker of the shorts is called Indra Wear! 

Watch out, Lulu Lemon!

The art of letting go...

That by the way is...

what goes by the name of "Camel Pose" or "Ustrasana" in the Bikram Yoga class. Granted I photoshopped it way past my normal limits but the fact that Jr took the HDR snaps and my dad volunteered to hold a white Dhoti behind me to take this photograph meant that yours truly should put in at least a little more effor tinto making this photo memorable for the family!

What has all this to do with the "letting go"?

Anyone who knows me (even through the blog) probably can figure out by now that once my mind is set on doing something, I will keep trying till I figure it out to my satisfaction. Maybe I am obsessive compulsive to a greater degree than a normal person but not enough to be called OCD?! Do not know but it is not easy for me to let go of things. A shortcoming that has helped and hurt me in my personal and professional life. A trait that I consciously work on to match the situation at hand.

Yoga is one of the places where this helped and hurt me. Again this is "me" that has to do with the helping and hurting part and not the "yoga". It is very fashionable these days to bash or trash Bikram Yoga or Bikram Choudury but if I ever get to see that man in person, will prostrate myself at his feet for giving me a second chance in life. That said...

The day we went for our first yoga class, we did not know that we would get hooked to this thing the way we did. It has been a year and a half and my MIL and me still go attend at least 4 classes a week. She attends 5 or 6! Again, see what I mean by letting go?

Why would your attendance matter? What if you went there every day and just sat there most of the time? What if you had 50% attendance but you gave it your 100% every one of those 90 minutes in that hot room? What if..  ? What if..  ?

Well, I did go 250+ days in the first year and thought it was something to be proud of. I also knew that exactly one year into this practice my waist sized dropped an obvious 4+ inches, my weight went down by 17+ pounds and my average sick days came down from 10 a month to less than 3 a month and overall felt happy or at least had the ability to feel less sad in situations where my formal self would have gone into a depression of sorts.

The last six months have seen a drop in attendance. Best I have managed is 5 times  a week and that was 3 weeks out of the last 20 or so weeks. The rest of the weeks have seen 3 or 4 days attendance on a regular basis. This was mainly because of trips to Austin, adjusting to eating times (you don't want to eat anything 2 hours before a yoga class), sickness picked up from sharing the air with a bunch of people in the confines of airplanes and hanging out in airports which should probably rate at the top for the worlds most unhygeinic places.

Still give it my very best in every class and do watch for my limitations. These days I do sit down every now and then to get my breathing back under control, even if I am in the first row. A yogi's got to do what a yogi's got to do, right?  If you cannot breathe right, no point in doing the pose. There is NO benefit.

In the process of adjusting to the reduced attendance (which people tell me doesn't matter) and being a more tamed and timid self than the hardcore type A personality who would push himself just past his limits on every pose, there has been a new found realization.

Yoga is not about being flexible or strong or balancing the two. Yoga is not just about marrying your heart and your lungs. Yoga is not just about having your body one with your mind and breathing.

Yoga is about being comforable with where you are.

If you can blank out your mind between poses to catch your breath in the dead body pose when the instructor says in a soothing voice "Relax your body, relax your mind, let your body settle down into the ground with the help of gravity, let your spine touch the floor from your neck to your tailbone so you can recharge your body for the next pose", then it should be possible to do this with your mind everytime you are unhappy with yourself for not pushing yourself past your limits!

For the longest time tried to "focus" on something while doing the poses and found it to be incredibly difficult. Now there is a new trick. Try to completely defocus everything. Squint your eyes a little bit like you are trying to find the hidden picture in a "steregraphic image" and having everything around you become dull, including the teachers voice to a bare minimum and that seems to help a lot.

Yoga is about "letting go"!

Letting go of the inhibition to wipe your sweat, letting go of everything in your mind so you can completely defocus from everything, letting go of your worst fears (which mostly involve falling down to the ground in those moments). . .

Actually went and talked to one of the teachers who has been teaching for 10+ years and told her "I used to ace these poses and now I seem to have gone backward and at the same time there are poses which were so difficult for me where there has definitely been an improvement. Also seem to have less energy these days so don't know if it is my work or the yoga".

She looked at me for a few seconds, paused and said "Happens to all of us. We all have our good days and our bad days. Also different parts of our bodies adjust over time. Your muscles that were once weak are now strong and that means relatively the strongest muscles that you used to get by class so far are not the strongest anymore. They need to improve new. Just keep doing what you can and you will find out what you can do with your body and mind!"

The simplicity of her logic and her sincerity made me realize that Yoga's greatest benefit is learning to accept your limitations and work with them!

These days I go into the room with no expectations, do what I can, sit down when I cannot and try my best the next day without any misgivings from the past experience.

Do not know if mentality will translate to a more peaceful personal and professional life, time will tell...

ps. Reposting this because all the formating in the previous version of this post was messed up on the WYSIWYG editor. Couldn't let go! As you can tell.. I still have issues with letting go!