when it comes to knowing your body...

It has been more than three days since I've logged into blogger or Facebook or twitter or any social stuff...

I have gone to work from Tuesday to Friday, and made it back in one piece. It has been very tiring, but it has been a very rewarding experience.

One thing did not expect, was how much I underestimated the power of the Vicodin.

the second thing I learned in the last one week, was how much I overestimated the ability of my own body to take the stress, in the absence of the drugs.

A couple of good things have happened in the last four to five days.

I have managed to go without a tablet for the last twenty-four hours. I have also purchased a voice recognition software and I am mastering it, albeit slowly.

I am in fact, using this software to write this post. It has been very slow going, but I have made tremendous progress in the last twenty-four hours. Over the next two weeks, if this techno-geek manages to understand the software to the full extent of its abilities I will be typing faster than anybody I know in spite of doing it without my right hand.

I'm also practicing to take photographs by holding the camera in my left hand alone. I will post a few photographs of the sky from my street, tomorrow evening.

If only I could drive......

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Trying times

Had many a funny thought in edit mode over the last week, but somehow, never could get in the mood to post anything. No matter how busy at home or work, have always managed to post something here at least once a week.

Yet, once in a while things happen, so fast and in succession that you are just reacting at every level. Last week was one such week.

A colleague died of heart failure. He was 51 years old. Have not managed to get over it. He is already cremated and the funeral service is done and all we have is a plant at home which is now somehow associated with him. His family had requested that we give a live plant instead of flowers! When this was explained to the little one at home, she now points to a plant and goes "is that him?". I guess it is him, now that she constantly keeps reminding me.

Then San's aunt passed away. She was my MIL's closest cousin. San's uncle happens to be my FIL's cousin. As two brothers from one family marrying two sisters from another, they were all very close. San's aunt was struggling with kidney failure, had a transplant, and was living on dialysis for 15 years! She was an inspiration to all of us. She was only 54 years old! The very next day after she passed away, MIL flew back to India!

The kids have now come up with a song which they were singing on their own. (it would make one depressing videoblog). It goes something like this..

Bombay is in India
and we are so sad
Bombay is in India
and we are so sad
Bombay is in India
won't you get her back
1,2,3
she will be back again..

Jr. is a genius. She knew the last line didn't rhyme, and so made a real sad face to compensate for it. The sisters also sing the first two lines in chorus to give an added pleading effect. Maybe she was trying to cheer us up with her antics and song, sensing that the adults in the house are just brooding!

Just when we try to get things going again, open Google and see that Randy Paush passed away as well and that somehow seemed to be the straw that broke the camel! Not that we know Randy personally or anything, but the fact that we have been following his blog and his determined fight with pancreatic cancer and how the words "passed away" would keep resonating in our heads for a straight week! just sent the mood spiralling down.

Last evening, San realized that we could not stay in the house anymore. So we decided to cheer ourselves and the kids by taking them out to the beach. Thanks to the cousins, who came up with an idea to go to the Pidgeon Lighthouse on route 1, we drove for almost 2 hours, saw the lighthouse, let the kids play at Gazos creek and had dinner at a small but beautiful restaurant in Gazos creek.

That was definitely a turn around point. At least it took our minds off the departed for some time and got to see the kids smile and get back to ground zero.

This morning, we went Bike shopping. Yes, Bike shopping.

There have been a couple of new resolutions passed in the house after attending the funeral service.

1. Daddy is giving up his addiction to curly fries. Almost every day when he is at work in the lunch table, he orders a plate of curly fries and puts them in the middle for everyone to share. But fact is that he eats the lions share of the fries. Many a time his dead friend would remark "those things can kill you, you know!". Now that the warning is as real as it can get, no more daily curly's. Maybe, once a month, or at a restaurant....

2. There will be exercise! Hence the bike shopping. The whole family went and visited every bike store in the santa clara, sunnyvale, san jose, cupertino area, found out what daddy needs, and got him a bike. (Jr. has threatened not to get in the van if we ever visit one more bike store. She got really tired at the end, especially when she realized that the whole exercise was for daddy and none of the bikes being selected by her or the little one were being taken seriously by either parent). We now have a Diamondback Insight which daddy already tested in Shoreline park earlier today, and is very very happy with the bike.

3. The per capita potato consumption of this family will be reduced by 50% over the next quarter. Most of it is being consumed by daddy today and he will have to do the brunt of the reducing. Considering that daddy lives on potato, cooked in various shape or form, mostly involving a lot of oil, this reduction might send his body into potacalyptic shock! Maybe my system is a well "oiled" machinery and one fine day when we decide to take the oil and the grease out, it might start squeaking a little.. Only time will tell.

It has been one roller coaster week.

The most profound realization of the week was NOT things that cross my mind in passing like

1. Here today, gone tomorrow
2. We are here for our kids
3. It is important to stay fit
4. Stressing out over little things is not worth it

etc. etc.

These thoughts constantly cross my mind, but somehow subconsciously, I have succesfully learnt to put them in the background and keep moving.

The one thing that I did realize was how much I put San through by not taking care of my health. Somehow we have gotten used to our fights over my health that it feels like a rerun! This weekend, saw her face go really pale, when I mentioned that it has finally dawned on me that "I" should take better care of my health. For once, she did not go into the usual "I have been saying it since the day we got married. blah blah blah.." speech. She just sat there with a look on her face that said "Whatever. If you have realized it for real, I am happy for you!". It was a face that was tired of telling me, again and again.

Here is to hope, less potato, Sundar turning a new leaf.

May all those departed souls rest in peace!

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Did you even notice ?

Came home from work last week, think it was a thursday. Thursdays are usually very busy days at work and I usually come home in zombie mode.

The little one came running when I opened the door, and as usual banged into my crotch. With a yelp, trying to conceal the pain and still showing extreme happiness at seeing her, I picked her up. My face must have resembled that Malayalam actor, who is capable of showing two different emotions at once, on his left and right side of his face!

Picked her up, went into the kitchen and saw San washing dishes. She had her hair clip way up high and her hair was falling down on either side of her face, giving her a poodle-ish appearence. Thinking, " Oh, Poor thing must have just had a bath and no time to even dry her hair properly" I focused on other things that were on my mind.

My stomach was making the usual rumbling noises and I picked up some stuff from the countertop, started eating and the following conversation started.

San : "so how is it?"
Me : very tasty!
San : so you didn't notice anything ?
Me : The salt and chilli are perfect. No.. nothing! Very tasty actually. Your mom outdid herself this time.

and the conversation was left off..

A few minutes later, Jr. walks to me and says "Mom had a haircut!"

I then put two and two together and went to San and said "I did see that there was something wrong with the way you put that clip all the way up there, but didn't want to make a big deal out of it!"

After being surrounded by women and being hailed as a ladies man, I must really be going through some kind of midlife crisis. Oh, the folly! The folly, of making such a comment..

For those men out there who come home hungry and get generic questions like "so, how is it?", I will spare you the trouble of finding out certain things the hard way.

When you get such questions, always switch the light (or all the lights) ON, take a good look at your wife and notice :

1. hair
a. length - even if short by a few millimeters
b. color - a few hair may be red or brown (she has done some henna work)
c. texture - if they are swaying in the breeze from the exhaust fan, some other hair work has been done..
d. parting - it could be center today and side tomorrow..
2. eyes - notice sharp eyebrow lines (must have threaded it!)
3. New Jewelry - any subtle changes (this includes "did you see how the pendant has 1263 stones instead of the 1262? I like it!")
4. Facials, handials,legials - (you may have to go behind her, give her a hug and touch her arms in an attempt to see local surface roughness changes. With practice, you can actually compete with the best in class Atom Force Microscopes, when the time is right).
5. New clothes, any colored threads she has tied in her hand aka Rakhi style, or after a viratham (vrath) etc.
5. Weight loss - this cannot be noticed, considering you see your spouse everyday, but you should be able to perceive a constant weight loss. This might violate all laws of conservation, but it does not violate the "law of conserving yourself".

I am glad to say that after a week, I have sincerely (yes, my wife can detect my % sincerity to the 5th decimal place) agreed that her new hairstyle has grown on me. Told her that it is an acquired taste and now I am fully used to her new hairstyle. Hell, I even like it.

I could have saved myself the trouble if I had instantly liked it, but the past, as they say, is past!

Now that Jr. and the little one know, how I get treated when misreading appearance changes, they come to me and go "How do I look?", after every dressing session.

In case you didn't know, the default answer is "Pretty as a princess!"

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