To Boldly go..

We are not talking about the new job here.  True, most of you expected me to take a break. Staring at an iPhone with 0 work emails and 48 gmails in 4 hours gave me a jolt! That is not the work life balance yours truly has become used to..

Promptly jumped into the new job and have the brain overload going again.

This post is about "boldly going where no man has gone before...."

On Saturday we went to the Olive Garden for dinner. There was a power outage in the entire area to the point where the parking lots were dark. So I went in first with the kids. Waited for them to come out of the restroom and the minute they came out it was my turn to go. So rushed in..

Come out and see a lady standing near the mirror! That is when I asked "Are you in the wrong restroom or am I?"

First of all, she was too zapped to see a guy walk out of one of the bathrooms! Then he actually coverses with her and has the audacity to ask her if she is in the wrong restroom? She gave me "the look".

Having been surrounded by women for the most of the last decade, she didn't have to open her mouth and say anything. Understood from that look that I was in the wrong place. Said sorry and walked out and her husband and son were waiting outside.

Then it was their turn to give me "the look". Mumbled something and came sat down at the table we got near the bar. My daughters were laughing out loud and my wife who didn't get what was going on kept looking at me and the kids. She thought it was one of our inside jokes!

Men folk. Here is a tip.. If you ever have a doubt that you are in the wrong restroom, just get the hell out..

Daddy I wanna go ....

Dadddy I wanna go .....

The sentence that is every parents nightmare at various locations and occasions, in the first four to five years of raising kids! After the kids can go to the restroom on their own, this is less of a problem, unless of course you have two girls and you have taken the kids on an outing and

1. there is no family restroom
2. your five year old will go only to the ladies room
3. you have to beg some strange woman outside the ladies room to help your daughter!

Sometimes you long for the days where you could change the diaper in the back of the van and keep on moving.

Here are my top five "I wanna go's" (No, nobody tagged me or anything! I just thought of writing about this..)

5. 2005 - Bombay - We are stuck in traffic on the way back from a short day trip. There is no way for the FIL to manouver the little Maruthi 800 out of the rapidly deteriorating traffic situation. A just potty trained Jr. declares it is time. Finally after 20 minutes on a ramp near "Baikula?" we make it to a restaurant.

4. 2006 - Cathay Pacific Flight - Somewhere close to Jakarta - A long line of passengers outside the restroom (probably the half cooked poori's were doing the job). Jr. is near tears, standing cross legged and after a point she cannot even stand. Daddy pleads and cajoles his way to the head of the queue to the restroom door only to find that all three people inside are taking forever! We almost have a disaster in our hands when what appears to be the door to heaven opens.... We go inside and in an instant Jr. declares "This potty is dirty. I cannot sit on it!".

Daddy is now near tears. How can cleaniness be a concern at that stage?! Then he realizes that she is a girl and probably takes after her mom for this type of stuff... So daddy props up the baby changing board, sits Jr. on top and proceeds to use his knowledge from the Ph.D. that he never got. The Doctor of Janitorology finally got the approval from a pensive Jr. who got down from her high horse and used the potty.

3. 2007 - Disneyland - a line of more than a 1000 people for one of the attractions! Jr. wants to go, and we are halfway into line. I carry her back, wading against all those people rushing past in the line only to find that the nearest restroom in the map is all the way on the other side of Frontierland! The horror of it is that the queue to the restroom is almost half the length of the queue to the attactions. Daddy makes the mistake of just taking Jr. to the mens restroom...He comes out deciding "No more daddy taking you to the restroom".

2. 2007 - Sidhi Vinayak - Bombay. We should have just been content watching the proceedings inside on the TV monitor outside and returned. MIL and grand MIL insisted that we get up close and personal with Lord Ganesha! It was a line through a metal rod maze, a security counter, and then into a mad crowd. Jr. of course was desperate as usual. This time I could not blame her because even I was desperate! We had been in that line for almost 2 hours. After that instance, have promised to never stand in a long line to meet any god, especially when no restrooms are around. These days we stand in line only to see cartoon characters!

1. 2006 - Blaine - US Canada Border crossing on a long weekend. We had gone to Seattle to spend time with my BIL. The plan was to go to Vancouver for a day. We did not anticipate that a gazillion other people would plan to cross into Canada the same day. The checkpost was backed up for at least 2-3 miles. The cars had come to a standstill. Some of the older kids were heading for the trees (we could see that).

Jr. was alien to the "potty behind the tree" concept. So a gruelling 30 minutes later, we found ourselves crawling past a restroom on the highway! Everyone was cursing themselves, turning their anger against the other adults and kids, all that drama inside a confined space. We probably enacted the automobile version of "Lord of the flies" in that hour. Now we have a policy of not being stuck near border crossings on long weekends!

Hope this serves as learning for other parents out there who have 3-5 year olds! It is a lot easier with the Little One because she can always join her sister. No more pleading strange women. No need to teach her anything either because she learns everything from her big sister. Thank god for little favors!

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