Faith Faith Faith

Faith is an interesting thing.. it makes you do things that are ingrained in you from childhood. Everytime I lose something and I have to find it in a time sensitive way, subconsciously say a prayer to Ganesha and say "will light a camphor light(karpooram) for 10 paise at the local temple".. 

a. we don't get camphor lights in the US that easily

b. there is no 10 paise anymore

c. local temple can be anything but was originally intended for Vembadi Vinayagar, a little ganesha under a pipal tree that I have circled with prayers to remove obstacles real and imaginary..

But it gets done.. and we are not even talking about if we actually found the thing on time or not.

In 2014 my MIL was going for a bone marrow test and in pure panic mode I prayed to my family deity (Gunaseelam perumal) that if the test came negative for cancer, will go shave my head in the temple. That was more of an extreme case of the camphor lighting thing.. 

Have made at least 6 trips to India since that time but never got the opportunity to go visit Gunaseelam. Faith is interesting.. seeing your family deity is not up to you, it is up to your deity.. or so the saying goes! Guess on this short trip to see my dad, there was no agenda. 

Three weeks ago, was lying in a hospital bed myself, dreading some worse case scenarios, which fortunately turned out to be something a lot less threatening. While there, the thought of unfinished business with god somehow bubbled up to the top of the already buffering thought process.  What if I died and did not do the "mottai"? After all the bone marrow test for MIL had come out negative! 

The original plan was to just go alone with a driver and get things done and get back. Then my parents said the words "Can we come with you?".. In case you didn't get the reason Faith got mentioned three times in the title, "you cannot say no to someone when they ask to come to a temple with you".. My dad was bedridden two weeks ago and he barely started walking again. An adult in diapers who just started walking, coming on a day trip where we spend 11 hours in the car and 3 hours in a temple is no joke. 

Somehow, we told ourselves, if it was meant to be, we will make it. I did a risk mitigation plan that would make any project manager proud and we left at 3AM. It was still raininig in Chennai but we were off to a flying start.. We had one stop for 25 minutes and were back on the road. 

Given this is my n'th mottai at Gunaseelam, the whole thing was done in 7 minutes.. then came the best part. There was water in the river that flows to the temple! Had a great time taking a dip in the river and have the fishes nibble at me. We were on a deadline and I had to pull myself out of the water to go in and finish the rest of the prayer. 

Our driver and some total strangers helped me navigate a wheel chair through the temple. The priest knows our family and was extremely nice and made sure my dad got to see the deity up close. 

On our way out a puppy came up and lay down under our vehicle. This one knew how to put on a sad face like a pro..

It was time to drive back. My dad is like a kid who just got his tonsils out and knows that his parents won't say "no" to anything... we just got out of the temple and he mumbles "elaneer.. I want elaneer". He wanted coconut water. Was not even sure if this is coconut water season and we were watching the road for it and sure enough we found a vendor selling fresh coconut water. It is not a good idea for a person of his age to drink that instead of lunch. We stopped at an A2B for lunch and it was really delicious. Had a full course meal. As an added bonus this place had a wheelchair ramp!

Then came the bombshell from my dad "I want to use the restroom". That was not part of the plan. It was going to be diapers all the way. But a kid without his tonsils... is a kid without his tonsils. The restrooms here are not typically wheelchair accessible. They are simply not for anyone who is not fit and can manoeuvre around a potty, a door that swishes past the potty with millimeter tolerance and a bunch of taps and buckets on the floor that are trip hazards. In what can only be described as a houdini move, managed to get my kid to go potty and get him diapy changed. That coconut water was a bad idea. Our driver concurred. 

The rest of the drive back was calm and serene. There were cops every 100 feet. So I started counting cops. After 270, I stopped counting. That was only on one side of the road from Dindivanam to Melmaruvaththur. My mind boggled at the efficiency of this whole security apparatus with so many cops just standing on the roadside doing nothing.. then again, maybe this system works, who knows! We actually slowed down to ask one of the cops to find out what the big deal was. He proudly answered "The Chief minister of Tamil Nadu is making his way back to Chennai on the same route!"

We made a dash for it to avoid his motorcade and made it back in exactly 14 hours. For a few minutes after reaching could not find my legs.. had let my dad doze off on me. . . which reminded me of my kids dozing off on me on another recent trip.

It has been another interesting day. 

A picture that says it all..

and a short video of the days experience.. 

It is always a great feeling taking a dip in the river.. mottai or not. Was glad to see my parents smiling again, even if for one day! 

Now the only thought in my head is "the mosquitoes are going to get me good tonight with this exposed scalp.. they will suck my brains dry and I might actually wake up smarter!"

My head feels lighter already, both literally and figuratively...

A very special birthday

The last time I was in India for my birthday was three years ago. It was a memorable birthday spent with my collegemates at a reunion in Varanasi. 

The last time I was with my parents on my birthday was in 2003! 

Recently my dad fell down (again) with his Parkinsons and stubborness both advancing more or less equally. So I decided to come spend the thanksgiving week with my parents in Chennai. 

Was welcomed shortly after midnight by the immigration officer who was nice and greeted me but missed the fact that it was my birthday. 

Had a short nap after three back to back flights and went to see Kabali early in the morning. My mom gave me some money to go buy a shirt. She insisted. I happened to be the first customer for the store. They were delighted to have a very happy smiling temple going dude as their first customer and I got to pray with them again as they did the prayer to start business for the morning. 

My dad is definitely doing better, but I think he is going on some adrenalin rush in the happiness of seeing his son back. This is a happy post, so I will stay positive. He is walking a 100 steps today. That is a big deal given he was not moving three weeks ago.

Then my mom insisted on some mini vadai and payasam to celebrate.. pre-diabetic label be damned, I promptly dug in. 

This was followed by a whirlwind trip from old Cupertino to old Fremont (sorry.. Mylapore to West Mambalam)  with an auto in waiting to see San's grandparents.

This is definitely a more adventurous ride.. see the two timelapses below..

The day is still not over but I am happy that my parents are smiling today. 

Have a few more temples to visit and relatives to meet. It has been a different and great birthday experience this year. Thanks to everyone for the wishes on social media. 

Golu 2019

The last month has been busy.. the kids are both in high school, the travel, school calendars are blocked to a point of exhaustion.. Then comes Navarathri festival. 

This year was a mixed bag. Could visit folks only on three days.. The rest of the days were spent in pick up and drop off duties or in meetings. Also the kids did not dress up even once and visit any Golu. That was a new low. 

There were games to be played, bands to be marched in, or the self imposed ban on attending functions while on periods. In any case, someone had to step up and dress up with San.. especially after day one when I told everyone I was ready to go in my T-shirt and shorts... 

There was a lot of shaming and I decided to match her Sari.. there were a lot of compliments from friends, partly because they were all so used to seeing me in the same T-shirt that anything else was a step up. 

Then I decided to do it the other two days of golu hopping as well. . . the end result .. a photomerge to remember.. 

This year the golus saw a lot of antique dolls that were inheritences for the ladies from their grandparents.. some of them were 100 years old handed down generations.. and they are all making their way to the bay area.. Cupertino and Fremont are the New Mylapore and New Mambalam.. have said that before and will say it again!

There were also a these miniature dolls with amazing detail. None of them are more than 3-4 inches in any dimension but the intricate color work is mind boggling.

My favorite from this year..

For the first time all the photos from the Golus were taking with an iPhone 11 Pro Max.. the new phone came just in time for the Golu season and is still being figured out.. 

Slide shows of the golus..

now for the individual doll portraits.. at least these dolls were unique across the golus I attended this year.. the iPhone has a neat portrait feature and if the dolls are lifelike, it takes portraits and enhances them automatically.. to me that is a measure of how life like the dolls are..

and finally, the photoshop masterpiece..that made the experience a fun one!

This blog has been capturing local golus for almost 15 years now.. hope to keep doing that over the years.. it has been one constant that has held over time for this blog!

Happy Vijayadasami to everyone! May the start of this academic year be a good and fruitful one!

A day sheet calendar and a long time tradition

It was 1989.. and my parents were helping me pack to go to Varanasi to study. In the last minute my dad decided to get me this day sheet calendar that showed the Tamil month and date information.. It was a beautiful calendar with a golden Ganesha stuck on the top of cardboard. 

We had just left Chennai the day of Vinayaka Chaturthi to go to Varanasi. It has been 30 years and almost the same date. 

That year went by and the day sheets were all used, but that golden Ganesha was separated from the calendar and kept in the room. As a teenager, I did not have to do a pooja for Ganesha by myself given by father was performing it in Chennai. I used to go to the local temples in Varanasi to celebrate. That did not mean I would not do a Ganapathi pooja by myself. Would do that every now and then, thanks to the training I got from my high school. We had a Vidhya Ganapathi at the school entrance and I got to do the daily pooja for him including abhishegams. If you want to learn deference and get a grip on faith, doing an abhishegham to an idol that the entire school will come to worship in a few hours is one way to start!

Then I ended up in the US. Again, I would call my parents and enquire how the pooja went and dream of kozhukattais and if lucky some married senior grad student or local professor would indulge us with some kozhukattais (modhaks, dumplings). 

Once I got married, things changed. It was time to perform the pooja as head of my own household. San tried her hand at making kozhukattais and her first experience had her almost in tears. Then she slowly improved and once her mom started coming to visit when the kids were born, things took an interesting turn. She turned pro..

Also over the last 10 years, my MIL has been here for many Ganesh chaturthis and made the usual kozhukkattais as well as my favorite "ammani" kozhukkattis.. which I would come home and roast with some grated coconut and eat. Some years were good and some were bad.. that we almost had no celebration. 

This year we are fortunate to have Ganesh Chathurthi as a national holiday in the US for Labor day. Got to do yoga early in the morning, come home and do the pooja.. to the same day sheet calendar Ganapathy! If it has been your "go to Ganesha" for 30 years, it is now the gold standard!

The photograph makes it look big.. it is only 5 inches tall.. but to me it means something. Was thinking about my dad this morning. As a teen, the one thing I wanted to be after growing up was "not him". He has a lot of good things about him as well as some lousy stuff. The lousy stuff is now long gone.. Once he crossed 55, he was a different person.. maybe because he realized the kids were grown up or he wisened up or realized that no matter what he did, society is going to do what it does. 

For all his faults, I do have him to thank for many things in my life that provide me an anchor of sorts.. be it in a good way or a what not to do in my life way. Was thinking of him in a good way today. 

Was also missing my MIL today. San was at it the entire morning and was complaining of her hands hurting while making the kozhukkattais. Having cut my finger deeply while helping with Veggie cutting, my utility in the kitchen reduced.. San is an Obi-Wan at this.. but MIL is Yoda. Getting visuals of my MIL in a yoda costume saying "kalari it, you must", "hurt, it will".. 

Now it is time to round up the tummy with some good eats... 

This year, we also managed to pack and carry a nice small decorative table during the recent India trip. We got a large Ganesha as part of Jr.'s arangetram decor and were looking for  a nice place to put the idol. This table makes a perfect stand for the Ganesha. Everyone in the house is now placing flowers on it when they get a chance. 

Ganesha is my favorite of all the Indian gods, so it is no surprise that we celebrate this festival the way we do! 

There was a time when the kids used to get involved.

These days, given high school and growing up in a different place different time, they look forward to the kozhukkattai and they come when the pooja is almost done. 

Sooner or later they will realize that unless they learn to make the Kozhukattai's themselves, they will be missing out!

Time to start a Kozhukkattai making class next Ganesh Chaturthi... 

Happy Ganesha or Pillaiyar Chathurthi to everyone who is celebrating!

Yoga challenges

The summer 60 day challenge is wrapping up at Bikram Yoga San Jose. This time I did not sign up to do the challenge. There was travel involved and the family clearly declared that there will be no room for doubles to compensate. I was still hoping that maybe some things will rearrange themselves with some divine providence and maybe a chance will open up to finish.

No such luck. It should have been 48/60. Did not even make that. 42/60 was the final class count. That was thanks to the eye infection that was picked up on the last trip. Have recovered the eyes nicely, but going to travel again. Just have to be conscious and not touch my eyes after touching any of the trays or windows on dirty planes. 

The only good thing was that my MIL was here the last two months and she came to yoga with me. It is always great to have a yoga buddy!

Thanks to my co-sister, MIL and me got a new T-shirt. She saw this in India and it was nice of her to send us these shirts. Love the shirt!

Challenge or not, my goal for the year is >200 classes.. Have 165 for the year and given my future travel schedule, will need to go every day when in town..

It is still a great feeling to cheer my yoga buddies and see them finish. Encouraging people to take this on and see them succeed is giving me as much happiness as finishing it myself. That also is progress in a way!