Mothers day

Mother's day is a lot of things to a lot of people... depends on country, culture, commerce.. etc.

All said and done a day where you thank Mom's with an open gesture. It was conceptually new to me because as a kid growing up in India, do not remember any special plans for mothers day or my dad deciding to kiss my mom or buy her special gifts or cook breakfast for her while she woke up late or do a special archanai in the local temple on that day just like he would on her birthday (the archanai of course).

When in Rome, do as the Romans do is what they say (still don't know how the Roman's celebrate Mothers day, but we do know how Californians celebrate) and that means we should have been on the program and schedule.

As fate would have it, I fell sick and pretty much blotched any semblance of plan or schedule.

Woke up this morning with a terrible stuffy nose and painful sinus. Told the little one "wake up.. we have to wish all the moms on mothers day"

LO : Let us go wish mommy

Me : she is still sleeping. don't wake her up. I will call Madras Paati(grandma) and wish her.

LO : why should you wish Paati for mother's day?

Me : what do you mean? She is MY mother. I have to wish my mother on mother's day!

LO : it is MOTHER's day. Not GRANDMA's day!

Me : we have to wish all mothers we know. especially our own mothers. you go wish Amma. I go wish Paati. Amma will wish Bombay (San's mom goes by Bombay Paati or just Bombay in our house)

LO : Now I get it. should I wish Madras Paati too?

Me : yes. and every mom you meet today!

at that point we decide to call Madras Paati.

Me : happy mother's day

My mom : (very hesitantly) Thank you

Me : enna pannindu irukkeL ? (what are you guys doing?)

My mom : silence.....

Me : Enna maa.. pesave maatengare? (what mom.. you are not speaking?)

My mom : was trying to figure out who was on the other side. You must have a really bad cold. what is wrong with your voice? I cannot even recognize your voice? have you been taking care of your health? is it the job? etc. etc.. she almost went to "are you drinking your horlicks every night or not?" we just stopped shy of horlicks and the ennai theichu kuliyal (oil bath). You know you are in trouble if the oil bath makes it into the list of questions.

Me : Please let me talk. I DO have a bad cold. the weather keeps changing outside. Yesterday we went to a birthday party at a local park. it was very warm when we left and walked around in a T-shirt. Suddenly it got very cold and chilly and by evening I had a stuffy nose. It will get better.

Mom : what is the point of wishing mothers day when you are somewhere and I am somewhere and can only see you in pictures? and cannot even recognize your voice?

Me: you have a point there. will come home soon and we can talk, okay?

that cheered her up, at least temporarily...

the sickness kept going. An afternoon nap that was more than a nap. Then we decided to go out and have a drive. San pretty much said "come on now. just sit in the car and I will drive. let's take the kids and my mom out to eat someplace"

so off we go to do some errands and then hit Baja Fresh for an early dinner for the four of them (just had to watch as my stomach wasn't food ready).

We are waiting for San to come out of some store. There is a huge banner on Saratoga Avenue for Lumix Point and shoot camera's.

Jr. : Daddy, when can you buy me my own camera?

Me : I told you that I will buy you one before your next birthday and if not will give it to you as a birthday gift, no?

Jr. : Amma cannot take pictures with your camera anymore. the lens you have there is too complicated for Amma. she doesn't know how to use it.

Me : stop. I can teach her.

Jr. : NO! you cannot. It is very complicated. I have seen it. It has many rings and you keep moving buttons on it and she thought about it that other day and told me "it is too complicated and I don't want to break it and get in trouble with your daddy". We need to be a "camerologist" or something to use your camera. Can you buy me something easy where I can just see the picture on the screen and click?

Me: A camerologist? don't you know a word for someone who takes photos?

Jr.: (sheepishly) Oh yeah! Photographer!

Me : okay. we will think about it.

by the time this conversation was over San showed up and we were off to Baja Fresh..

we were happy, mad, silly, sad and all of the above over a 45 minute period.

Somehow we were all happy that we had each other.

Then we got home and Jr. and the little one insist I sleep with them for a few minutes.

Me : cannot lie down now. Nose is completely blocked. have to inhale vicks

LO : otherwise you will die?

Me : no. I won't die. will feel miserable.

LO : okay. we were worried.

Me : don't worry. everything will be fine.

LO : When is father's day?

Me : Don't know. But don't do anything special for father's day. just pray that we will all be healthy.

Mother's day went with the true realization and appreciation of what Mother's do for you and why they hold such a special place in your heart..

Here is to moms, who make you feel better, who support you when you are up or down and teach you constantly it is not a bad idea to listen to them...

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Like mother like Daughter-in-law??

We have all heard of
"like mother like daughter"

for the first time, we hear "like mother, like daughter-in-law"

San got this movie "Thotta" from the local Indian grocery store.

The first opening in the title credits is a picture of Indian Congress Party Suprema (female version of Supermo.. I am using my Spanish skills here!) and the caption

Baratha Annai
Thirumathi Indira Gandhi avargalin
maru avataram

Thirumathi Sonia Gandhi avargalukku
iththiraippadaththai
Apranikkirom.

Translation :

India's mother
Mrs. Indira Gandhi's
alternate avatar

Mrs. Sonia Gandhi
this movie is our offering.

We live in interesting times!

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The ties that bind!

When it comes to binding two surfaces together, there are many approaches. In fact gluing two surfaces or nailing them together would probably result in a much better bond than just using some form of rope or thread. However, when it comes to bonds that last, they always have "tying" associated with the bond.

Caveman probably used rope like material long before he came up with nails or glue! Maybe that is the historical reason ? But in retrospect, humans have associated permanent or long standing bonds with a tie.

The earliest and strongest is the umbilical tie ! Somehow even after the bond is broken physically, it leaves behind an imaginary connection that allows a mother to remote control her child, when he is 13964 Kilometers (or 8678 miles) away. A mothers ability to make a grown up child cry over a few words during a phone call, and the even more amazing ability to restore the same grown up child and make him wipe off his tears within a few minutes by calling him back, has to do more with the imaginary connection than the phone connection!

Then of course comes the tie that follows the umbilical tie. The "aranakayaru" tie! A black thread that the dad ties around a baby's waist on the day the kid is named as an attempt cast off the evil eyes! Hope this tie works as well for me as it did for my daddy!

The third tie that I can remember is the tie that initiated me into culture and religion. I am refering to the Upanayanam ceremony and the sacred thread that has been slung across my shoulder since I was thirteen! Although I have not been as faithful to all the duties and daily prayers that I agreed to perform, I still have not forgotten them. Just do them at my own terms and have come to accept it for what it is worth!

The fourth memorable tie is the tie that binds me to education and my profession! Well, I am talking about the colorful sash that my co-advisor tied around my neck during my Ph.D. graduation ceremony! Something to remember for the rest of my life. I have been studying all my life, but that moment stood for a milestone along that path. It was almost like stopping in Coalinga on a long drive from San Francisco to Los Angeles and smelling the cows, except much nicer!

The last and most important was the knot I tied around my fiance's neck to get her to be my wife! Of course she was my fiance for a total of one week before she became my wife! Cannot put my finger on it, but was it the knot, the circumstances under which it was tied, the audience at the event, the rituals ? Guess it does not really matter because somehow it gets etched deep down into your head and can still resurface from that depth real fast!

The same ties keep going over and over again, generation after generation, binding people in an inextricable way.

Ah, the ties, they do bind !

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