The only thing worse than PMS, is AMS

After a recent enquiry by Jr. and the Little one along the lines of "Are you okay daddy? Are you still bleeding?" and the snide comments from the wife and MIL about how women have periods a days a month while daddy has periods almost every day!

Of course, they were alluding to the nose bleeds and the one thing that has gotten it this far is the AMS, my abbreviation for the American Medical System.

At the risk of boring the gentle junta that scrolls past this space, this has to be explained!

A typical conversation with the appointment nurse is:

Me: (nasal voice, coughing) I need to see a doctor. I have blah, blah, BlaH and blAH! I think I am dying!

Hospital person: Do you want to see your "Primary physician?"

Me : Yes. That would be fine!

HP : Who is your primary physician?

Me : I dont know. I have probably met him or her once. I usually go to Urgent care. (this is true because, I get to go to a hospital only after 5 or on weekends and the regular doctors work 9-5!)

HP : Let me look up your primary care physician. Ah, there it is.. it is Dr. Azer-Chen-maniam!

Me : Oh! Can I see him today?

HP : I am sorry. The earliest appointment I have for him is on July 32nd!

Me : But it is June 20th today and July 32nd is like ....

HP : yeah! He is very busy and is very heavily booked!

Me : Are you telling me that people actually know when they are going to fall sick in advance and booked appointments in the future?

HP : (has probably been trained to answer this in front of a mirror without flinching a hundred times, as part of qualifying for the job). Sir, people usually schedule advance appointments with primary physicians for regular checkups, post checkup after they have gone to urgent care, etc.

Me : Is there any other doc. in the facility I can see today?

HP : Let me check.. Can I put you on hold?

Me : (about to open mouth and realizing that HP was asking a rhetorical question.. I was already listening to music that would put any elevator to shame!)

HP : Thanks for holding. Actually we have doctor David-Rama-Park with an opening at 10:00 AM day after tomorrow. Will that work?

Me : I dont think I can wait that long! (by now reminded of great grandmother and her saying things like "saavukku vaadanna paththukku varan" which literally means, we invite him for a funeral and he shows up for the 10th day ceremony)

HP : In that case I suggest you go to Urgent care again.

Me : Is there ANYWAY I can see a doctor, with an appointment, as soon as I am sick?

HP : Yes. There IS a way. You see, we have some appointments reserved every day with rotating doctors in the out patient department called "same day appointments". They are not movable to other times and are first come first served. So if you call in at 8:30-9:00 AM, you might get a same day appointment..

Me : thanks for letting me know that!

HP : Anytime. I hope you feel better!

Except for the last four lines, this has been the typical conversation for the last few years! Only this time I burst out and found out about the "same day" stuff. Not great, but still better than nothing.

Now, why is this dude complaining like this about the system? Why can't he learn to deal with it? you may ask!

The answer lies in a small name board on a single story building, that used to be on St. Mary's Road in R.A. Puram, Chennai, which simply read:

Dr. S. Jagadeesan
M.B.B.S

Just five houses away from ours, Dr. known in our family fondly as "Jaga", was a towering personality (probably because he seemed huge and most of my memories of him are from when I was a kid!). With his big face and even bigger cooling glass / spectacles and his booming voice he would make me cower either out of respect, fear or both.

He was in true sense our "family" doctor. Grandpa, grandma, parents, uncles, aunts, siblings, cousins, a total of 20+ people in our house alone, were all Dr. Jaga's patients. He knew everyone, their history(not just medical, but real history), hereditary problems within the family tree, family gossip, etc. etc. He was pretty much the only doc. we visited unless he recommended us to see some specialist guys like ENT's, Dentists etc.

He would take one look at me and go "Enna Sundararama? patta padaikkara veiyalla vilayadittu gold spot kudichchiya?" (did you play in the hot sun and drink a cold drink right away?) and I would be thinking "How the hell does he know that?" and he would read my mind and say "I just saw you yesterday drinking gold spot in the store across the street, as I walked out of the clinic and thought I would be seeing you here soon!".

I have so many memories of how he "cured" me of things, be it Jaundice, Madras-eye, chicken pox, etc. etc.. Let us just say it is a long list!

After I came to the USA, my parents called me one week out of the blue and told me "Jaga" passed away. I cried for two days just thinking about him every now and then. Just before my first flight to the US (which was also my first flight!), he spoke to me for half an hour and told me to carry a bunch of medicines with me, just in case. Then he gave me an MMR vaccine almost last minute, because people in the US are picky and insist on it. He said "unakku than ella vyadhiyum at least oru daravai vanduduththe.. you have built up good immunity by now!" (you have got all the major ailments at least once..) and continued "So I never gave you an MMR. Also it is not normal here, but I think they require it there. You will have a mild fever and feel sore for a day. Better here than just after you reach US!" So thoughtful....

It is possible that I keep complaining about the system here, because I miss Dr. Jaga! I was pampered by a doctor who knew how to fix me in a few minutes or within a few hours with the right threat, advice,and or medicine. The fact that he knew me was definitely as much a factor there as how much he knew his medicine!

That perhaps was the magic "Jaga" touch!

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