Hands free

As most of you might or might not know (there, I have covered all options) starting midnight, no driving with a phone to your ear in California!

The rule is simple. You can use the phone to dial out. You just cannot talk while driving, unless you are on speaker phone, or you use a "hands free" device!

Apparently the wise powers that be, in the Great state of California, have decided that this law, is going to make the roads safe, or at least, safer.

Word on the street was that the local electronics stores and Costcos were seeing long lines, with the hands free "bluetooth" devices selling like hot cakes. So, checked out a few options today and bought devices for myself and San. After the purchase and during the drive home, the mind wandered "free", and asked a lot of questions, aided by the various things observed in passing.

1. Why would it be okay to dial a phone (when you are hands and eye free) but not okay to talk?

2. Why would it be okay to drink "Starbucks" coffee and drive with one hand, but not hold a phone and drive? Could it be because promoting hands free devices, forces people to go to the store and buy a product which otherwise would be a novelty? and starbucks has not yet come up with a Handsfree drinking mechanism?

3. Could I come up with say, a hat that has a lining where you pour your starbucks coffee and there is an automatic straw that goes into your mouth for "hands free" sipping?

4. would I make a killing in the stock market if I patent such hat and straw?

5. The girl who just nearly missed the signal, being busy with her makeup and hair brushing (and who also pissed off half a dozen drivers behind her on the left turn only lane) would still be a danger on the road. How can we do "hands free" makeup?

6. Based on an average device making 30% gross margin, with the average device selling for 40 bucks, someone out there is making a lot of money this week?

7. How much did those guys pay, to get this law passed?

8. Why are there so many cops on the road today? Are they practicing for tomorrow?

9. If 1/3rd of the drivers with cell phones are safe, and 1/3rd have purchased the devices and paid their dues, the other 1/3rd will pay the fine to the highway patrol and the state government. How much will the State make?

10. Who the hell makes these rules anyways? We are supposed to work more, be more efficient, multitask to the point that dudes are talking to themselves in restrooms while peeing! No seriously, saw this today where it appeared the guy was talking to his thing.. because he looked down and was talking! Then when he was washing his hands, noticed that he had this earpiece on his right ear (which was not visible to me, when I was standing next to him).

For some reason, he thought it prudent to lower his voice in the restroom, which it made it all the more spooky. Thought he was whispering terms of endearment to his little guy! How then in a world where this happens, are we to stay away from cell phones?

11. Already Brahmin boys have to deal with pulling their "poonal", put it around their ears when they go "pee pee". What would happen to a Tambram boy who is wearing a poonal, spectacles, and a hands free? What if the whole thing gets into one tangled mess around his right ear and it all rips loose on the urinal?

12. Why didn't I buy stock in handsfree device companies a year ago? Why? Why? Why? Could have at least made money there, to compensate for what was spent today!

13. Will they actually collect impartial data over the next month or so and publish it to show if this rule actually reduced accident rates?

14. Will they actually share information, on how much money was made in fines and hands free earpiece sales over the next month?

15. Does the I-phone Junta have some cool out of the world device, that makes the cyborg looking thing I bought, look out of date? Is there an I-Free?

etc. etc. etc.

Came home grumpy, knowing that yet again, the average dude is still an average dude. A person who can only feel powerless against a law making machinery that takes ones tax dollars and finds new ways to screw him.

As soon as I entered the house though, the little one and Jr. cheered me up, with their "hands free" hugging. The little one jumped on me, clung tight like "boots the monkey" and said "Don't hold me daddy. Don't hold me with your hands. Keep walking. I keep huggy-ing you!"

Now that is one hands free, that more than makes up for all those other thoughts.

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