We don't want that!

A conversation overheard...

Jr. : Don't paduththy daddy (do not touble daddy)
LO : (nods head vigorously and says) Ok. I know, If we paduththy daddy then he will die and then we will have a new daddy and we don't want that, right ?
Jr. : RIGHT !!

Daddy is a little disturbed right now!

No, this is not aananda kanneer (happy tears) that the girls don't want another daddy or daddy to die!

This is worry that they take it for granted that they will have another daddy? They have picked a non worthy replacement already ?

That is scary!

ps. (for those of you who saw my facebook entry, you should know that this comes at a very disturbing time..).

pps. for those who do not know, a new colleage at work comes to my desk, looks at the first portrait that San and me posed for 10 years ago and says "Hi, you used to be a handsome guy once!".. she said that without any remorse, not batting an eyelid, just matter of fact!! Had no answer to that one...

ppps. for those of you who are wondering where all the hansomeness went, look no further..(one of the photos from that set is at the bottom of this post)..

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Restrictions

Daddy is allowed to wear one of eight or nine T-shirts, total!

Anything else is not allowed.

The little one screams her head off!! if daddy wears anything else.

Turns away from daddy. One minute she is clingy and the next minute she is absolutely horrified that her daddy has become a shirt, coat, different color T-Shirt wearing monster!

We had observed this once before when daddy took a red T-shirt from the "archives", and wore it for old times sake, and she screamed. So, the T-shirt was changed again quickly, just to stop her. Not much was made of that incident.

At a company anniversary party, daddy decided to wear his old Tuxedo and she would refuse to come to him. To daddy's horror, she never came near him at the entire party and clung to mommy the whole time. Everyone called daddy a horrible liar for claiming that the little one was attached to him at all times!

Today, it was a 100+ degrees here! Came home and removed the T-shirt and stood in the hallway for a minute in my baniyan(in shirt). The little one starts panicking again.

LO : "Daddy, please wear the shirt. Dont be nanga thanga!(naked)"..
Me : But I am wearing a Baniyan! I am not nanga thanga. It is so hot..
LO : Please wear T-shirt back, NOW!!

and then goes to Mom and complains that she is scared of daddy not wearing T-shirt.

Next minute, I removed the baniyan and wore the T-Shirt and she ran back and climbed on my shoulders, smiled and gave me a big kiss.

Strange.. very strange..

Need to find a way to get her used to a multi colored daddy!

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The under age kid

History has a tendency to repeat itself, over and over and over again. I guess that is one reason why it is still taught to people, so they would learn from the past and move towards a better future.

This is also counteracted by the ability of human beings to forget things quickly and get on with life.. the same life that people got on with a few decades ago and by extrapolation a few centuries ago..

It is true that todays Cyclotrons are a lot more complicated that the proverbial "wheel" invented a long time ago, but have we really come that far in learning from history?

People still kill each other, go take things forcefully from others if they lack a certain resource (it used to be gum arabic, silk, spices, gold, diamonds, now it is oil!) and continue to ignore the past.

All that, was the cynic in me talking. This post is more about something happening in our life right now. Jr. who is a November child, just like her daddy, is having attention issues in school. She is an extremely smart and intelligent kid and is easily distracted, just like her daddy and she does tend to walk into the occasional wall, just like her grandma!

We had a meeting with her teacher who gave us a detailed report card for the Kindergardener and said "she has trouble following my instruction. She keeps looking at what the other kids are doing and cannot focus". She went on to explain how she is the youngest in her class and how it is going to pose problems for her because some of her classmates are 14 months older.

San promptly cut in and said "hubby here was in 2nd grade at Jr.'s age". Being the sincere daddy, I went on to explain to the teacher that I had the same problems. I never went to kindergarten and was directly thrown into first grade at age 4 and finished school at 16 and college at 20 and was in gradschool before I could legally drink in the US. I also told her that my social life wasnt exactly stellar because "having no moustache when graduating high school" was an issue, but I never had any problems with academics.

At this point, the teacher must have seen very clearly why Jr. is distracted (talking to her daddy for 5 minutes would explain that) and asked me "so do you have any suggestions to improve Jr.'s focus?".

Daddy said "Eureka! I know exactly what they did when I was in first and second grade". They moved me to the first row so all I saw was the teacher and the blackboard. Nothing to distract me.

The teacher said, well.. in the US, we used to do that only to kids who were troublemakers. In any case we do not have rows in the classroom till 3rd or 4th grade. We have them sit around circular desks in groups of 4 or 5 so they can learn the value of teamwork!

Where do you sit then, and where is the blackboard ? I asked.

Apparently there is no thing like a blackboard and the teacher moves around the classroom as she gives instructions to kids.

Hmm.. let's see here. You are trying to focus on a certain voice trying to give you an instruction and you have to execute on it. This might also involve looking at a piece of paper or an object that is in the teachers hand and you have to do something on your desk based on that. What would be easier. A fixed location for the teacher directly in front of the student or a moving teacher who could sometimes be talking from your right, left, or even behind you..

Bah!!!! I said and walked out.

Really love the teachers, their enthusiasm and their passion.. but I know myself and based on history and some genetic extrapolation, my kid, and there are no surprises on why she cannot focus. First we need to learn focus on stationary targets before we can focus on the moving targets!

Bah!!! Bah!!! Bah!!!

Now I am going to train Jr. Jason Bourne style on how to follow instructions from a moving daddy..

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Happy Daddy's day

To

Daddy

From

Jr.

Sub : Happy daddy's day.

Dear Daddy,

Have a wonderful Father's day. I know you were invited to my daycare for Fathers day function. That too on Friday evening at 4:00. I know you will have to miss the weekend last minute planning meetings and come, which also means your phone will ring friday night and over the weekend and mommy will do "Pilliar eyes" at you all weekend. Thanks for coming!

This year I am surprising you, again! I know how you are really happy with whatever I give you on father's day and act surprised and give me a big hug and a kiss. I have given you trinkets made from paper bits, pieces of cloth left over in the tailors shop, ice cream sticks, old pepsi bottle lids, and things that look like they were picked from the street by my teachers who are hell bent on teaching me valuable subjects like economics at this young age. I also know that you really liked the ice cream stick "I love you daddy" tag I gave you two years ago and display it on the rearview mirror, but the rest of my gifts are nowhere to be found!

This year I am giving you the "#1 Dad" medal. I know you like this one too. You were wearing it even after you came home! But as an additional surprise, here is what I have done with my teachers. We have a brand new mousepad for you with my portrait on it!! Now, now. Stop crying. I don't know if you are really touched by my going the extra mile, or if you are shedding tears for the fact that this daycare actually shelled out money for a gift! Either way, I am happy for you. Now you can finally show your co-workers that you got a commercialized product for a Father's day gift that stands up to those coffee mugs, photo frames, etc. that you will see tomorrow. I know daddy. I know. We live in America.

I give you my usual love and you are still the best!

Love

Jr.

ps. I have another surprise for you. I have taught the little one to say "de da, ove you". I was actually going for "Daddy, I love you", but it is a question of time before she gets the "I" and the "L".

pps. Mommy thinks you are expecting too much. You can't seriously expect to start "onnu vitta mama's rendu vitta marumaan day" just based on the gift potential.

---

From

Daddy

To

Jr.

Sub : Thank you

Dear Jr.,

I actually always love the time and effort you put into the father's day gift. All these things don't really matter. I love you all the same. You already know that you girls have me wrapped around your finger, and you put that knowledge to good use! When I was a kid we never even knew about a special day for father's or mother's. We knew childrens day was November 14th and that too because it was more of Nehru thatha's birthday than anything else. For us every day was father's day. We "paduththied" daddy all the same, on father's day or on any other day. You do the same.

Keep the trinkets coming. Who knows, at this rate, I might actually talk to your teachers on suggestions for next years gift. I also have to go find out if mommy bankrolled the mousepad and is not telling me.

You are a darling.

Love,

Daddy.

Ps. you are doing some great work with your little sister in building her vocabulary. I can also see that you have some strange hypnotic hold over her and see listens to you more than she listens to me. Please remember, we are a team. We are counting on your new powers to help the family.

pps. Mommy tells me that she had nothing to do with the mousepad. I am really impressed wih your daycare now! I will ask for a USB drive with your photo on it for next year's gift. I was not serious when I came up with the other relative's days. It was just to make a point with mommy.

---

From

The #1 Daddy

To

All daddy's out there (with or without the medal)!

Happy father's day!

Sundar.

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Looks...There is more to it than meets the eye!

Warning : If you are not yet married and are considering getting hitched soon, please skip this post!! I really do not know if this will have adverse effects on you.

Was listening to NPR last month on my way to pick up Jr. There was a little piece in "All things Considered" which talked about how women choose their mates!

I have not been successful in finding a link within NPR for this, but here is an altenate link I found on Google which shows that this is indeed an outcome of some research..

Warning : If you have ignored my previous warning and have read this far and you fall into the Ferrari bucket, still actively looking for girls wearing White Salwars, please stop now! If you read beyond this, do so at your own risk!

Enough warnings. Lets proceed with the subject matter. Women select guys who look like their dad. Apparently they not only go for guys who look like their dads but also have similar traits, attitude to work, etc. In short they are looking for a younger version of their father who is not genetically close!

I am going to put this in perspective, on a personal level for the guys! You might have a lot more in common with your father-in-law than you know! Ever wonder how you can share silent moments with your FIL over events that unfold in your house when your wife and mother-in-law are present. Maybe it is not just a guy thing! It is two guys knowing that they share a mutual fate in the scheme of things, except one is going through an action reply, 25 years delayed!

I still remember three guys walking, one behind the other on the pavements of Pondy Bazaar, the day after my engagement, to buy things for my wedding. It was my FIL's FIL, my FIL and yours truly. It was the first time I got to meet and know about these two men! After all, I was going to be the third generation husband, in that family! We didn't speak much. More looks and nods than words were exchanged, on that particular evening. It was almost like a Chinese, Indian and Spanish person trying to communicate without knowing the others language. We still did communicate, and within minutes found that we had a lot of similarities. The three of us had very little in common when it came to physical stature or physiognomy but had very similar views on the few things we talked about! The old man is not with us anymore and I do not know why I keep seeing him in my sleep now, but it was funny, the way he would explain things to the FIL who would in turn explain things to me while we were walking in line!

On a separate note, I do not know if guys look for women who have similar traits as their mothers!! I always wanted to by anything but my father, when I became a dad, and I am failing at it miserably. The older I grow, the more I transform like him! This has set me thinking. I always used to blame my mom for all the things I did not like in my dad. Can I just conveniently blame my current transformations as due to my wife and on a stretch draw the conclusion that maybe my wife has some similarities with my mom ?!

This last line I know, will draw flames from the ladies, might even shut down this blog! But it is worth a thought! Could it be true that you are selected by the woman because you resemble her dad and you select her because she resembles your mom, but she turns you more into your dad than your father-in-law ? This is starting to sound like the story line for a K.B. movie!! I will stop here ...

Like the Shogun says, "Karma, neh ?"

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