Chuck Norris for President

This post is about "A tale of two countries", USA and India -the perspective of a F1->H1B->NRI->OCI

Before we barge into the perspective (of What? Why? When? etc.), let us get some definitions cleared.

F1 - the student visa on which the fresh off the boat Narayanan landed in the US of A, fifteen plus years ago

H1B - the work visa that changed the economy of the still single, but doctoral graduate ten plus years ago

NRI - Non Resident Indian, a change brought about by taking up permanent residency in the united states, also known as "getting a green card", seven years ago.

OCI - Overseas Citizen of India, the latest change that came with American citizenship two plus years ago, which defaulted the Indian Citizenship to an Overseas Citizenship.

Based on the last weeks news, you have won, if you bet that this post was about the economy, the reaction to the Lehman collapse, etc. Considering the way things are going, it should be obvious that you have not "won" anything, except the bet.

There should be one fact that will be out in the open before anyone judges this post as a meandearing, from a person who came to the US of A with exactly $ 1,050, and is now "living the American Dream" (as one of my Israeli buddies puts it). Since that fateful day fifteen odd years ago when I entered this country to the present, I have been a liberal democrat. I may not have known it by that name, but rest assured, those set of "values" if that is what one calls those, have not changed much.

That said, this post is more about, how my opinion of the USA changed and is continuing to change, based on how intimate I get with the day to day workings of this great country.

The last part was not sarcastic. I do believe that the USA is a great country. At the end of the day, as a collective people, they somehow get policy right. Was so sure of it, in my naive grad school days.

Granted, my view of America was not all that great in the early nineties and Hollywood did not help much. Like in all those Chuck Norris movies where four hundred and thirty five international bodies fall, so the special task force, can rescue that one American hostage who actually looks like his only contribution to his country was to improve the economy by eating a dozen donuts a day. I wanted to be Chuck Norris, and if that was not an option, at least be rescued by Chuck Norris after I ate a dozen donuts and was trapped in an airplane!

All the Americans around me made me feel that being American was like being born again. No, not "born again" as in the Christian sense, but rather "special" like in Tamizh when they ask you "Nee enna rendu thadavai pirandhiya?" ("Are you so special that you were born twice?"). You almost got the feeling that your strength would increase by a factor of 435 if you became American overnight. This theory especially gains momentum after you have read way too many Asterix comics which involve a certain magic potion.

Towards the end of my school days, a lot of things reshaped my view of America. There was talks of restricting immigrant workers, which did not go through, the one person who practically was looked up to by every desi graduate student turning out to be just another liar in the oval office, a simultaneous change of government in India with a nationalist party bent on testing nuclear weapons, a sudden surge in the bank balance thanks to a full time job, having as much fun doing R&D compared to being a not so well paid post doctoral researcher, being respected for doing what one likes to do, tasting "freedom" in a sense it had never been enjoyed before, owning a car, filling up at a gas tank on a regular basis, learning to fill more complicated tax forms than the 1040 EZ, and the list goes on.

During this time, America was the "in thing"! It was a sure bet. A place that held me in awe, simply because I could do what I wanted to do, as long as it was legal and no one would care. It was also a place where a "go getter" attitude was a plus and there was no run in with policy! To top things off, Chuck Norris was now "Walker, Texas ranger" and would grace our screens twice a week, not to mention the reruns. We were introduced to Texas. In a way Chuck gave us a preview to GWB in ways that only we could imagine.

That is when we got married and had dependents, bought and sold property, started accounts in stock trading houses to understand "quick money", lived through black tuesday and learnt some valuable lessons which were already available to us for free, had we only listened to people who had been there before. We were NRI's going through some questions on where to live, raise family, citizenship, voting, taxes, schooling...again a list that goes on and on.

One thing that was a surprise was 9/11, GWB and the rise of religious fundamentalism in the USA. After you get a dozen forwarded emails from people you know and work with, which talk about the "wrath of the eagle" mentioned in the Bible and how Iraq had it coming etc. etc., you start getting cynical, frustrated and then just plain astounded and ask yourself "How come I never saw this side of America before?" , "Was it always there?" or it is just coming out of the woodwork after Cheney runs his proxy dictatorship? not to mention other questions like "what if I dont like this war?", "How come no one has the balls to stop this?" etc. etc.

That is when a profound realization hit me!

When on trips to India, I complained about the local cop who takes a bribe for no reason by stopping you on some non existant pretext, or questioned the medical shop guy who would say "no change" and give me unwanted candy instead of the three rupees he owes me on the 20 I gave him, people around me (mostly family) would attribute my contention to my "American-ness"!

and now for the big realization..or realisation if you prefer,

This so called American-ness is only limited to showing some temper and gall at localized injustices at the everyday level with people who do not make as much money as you. You still do not get to question MK or Jayalalitha or Ramadoss (local politicians) for fear of retalliation. This option is not available to us in the USA if you make money and are above the poverty line. You don't get to see such things in your day to day life. The guy at the store hands you back a penny when you purchased something for 79.99 and you hand him eighty dollars. The cops here flag you, hand you a ticket, and off you go to court. For the most part, you know the law and try to stay within it.

When it comes to bigger things like the Iraq war, government spending, EPA, oil drilling, defense spending, security, freedom, bailouts for irresponsible people, etc. one is left in much the same boat, be it in India or the USA. Your voice is pretty much drowned. California, considered the fifth largest economy in the world (sure it is in the top ten at least) has been going without a budget for months and the common people who were hit by this have not been able to do much, with officials "they" elected!

At a much higher level, the machinery of politics is oiled by the same grease, irrespective of India or USA.

Only, the currency is different!

Now that we are American Citizens and OCI's, we do not think that commandos will be storming in to rescue us anytime soon from any impending crisis.

The day to day life, although a little more stressful, goes on with the knowledge that somehow the people who make way more money than us will get hit more and they will have the money and power to plug this hole! I know, I know. We are being selfish here. But is that not what got everyone to the point we are in now?

It is high time Chuck Norris took over as president of the USA. He can kick the crap out of the bad guys on Wall street and Main Street and put his "star" on the US dollar!

Being born and raised in the great state of Tamilnadu in India, which has been ruled by movie legends for the last thirty plus years, it is in my blood now, to hope for Chuckie to come and solve all our problems with his high kick. If we can expect MGR to solve all problems with the same ease with which he won swashbuckling swordfights with Nambiar, why not Chuck Norris?

I will say it again, Chuck Norris for President!

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