The not so little one gets her first degree

San and me went to India for two weeks to perform my dads passing anniversary ceremonies and then did a pilgrimage to a bunch of temples and came back. Right after coming back we had the little one’s graduation.

In my eagerness to finish clearing my iPhone photos and writing blog posts about the Japan trip, never got to post this important event!

The little one followed her sister in the deal making process and finished her 4 year degree in 3 years. We were obviously happy because she gets to work from home for a year before she goes to medical school like she has planned.

Her opening experience at UCSB was a tough one, as she caught a virus the very day she started dorm life and ended up in Urgent care. Three years later she actually liked the place enough to miss it. Guess it was the friends more than the place.

Was happy with the way her friends all came together, including her two childhood besties. All of them are growing up. All three are “little one’s” in their houses and it was tough to see them talk like adults. All those three kids think their dads and the uncles are probably idiots and they have their respective dads wrapped around their fingers.

We drove the morning of the graduation, cleaned out her stuff from her apartment, attended the ceremony, hung out at the beach for a short while, walked around campus for an hour, had an early dinner with her friends who could make it and drove back same night. There was a caravan of three cars from UCSB to the bay area with Jr. driving a van full of stuff and coming back solo. San and me were mostly silent and staring at what seemed like an endless freeway, occasionally reminiscing about the last 27 years!

This blog started when Sangeetha was pregnant with the little one!

We announced her birth on this blog!

Now a blog post about her college graduation! How 20 years flies by!

Here are some pictures from the days events..

The top photo was after high school.. we can complete the series with the next degree..

and a video highlights reel

Now we pray to all the gods we know and all the gods we don’t know ,that she gets her wish to do what she wants!

I am just happy that she has what no degree can offer….

Lifelong friends!

Irony

Every year, around this time, the thread ceremony is performed. This year, I was in airports and planes on the two designated days. 

Called my mom to tell her that work just trumped "Aaavaniavittam" and she told me to do it Sunday morning instead. 

So this morning I got up (never slept thanks to Jet lag is more like it), changed the thread, chanted the Gayathri mantra a 1008 times.

Funny thing is that when you sit in the same spot for an hour and you still think you are 25 years old.. one forgets that the lower half of your body is numb from lack of blood flow.

Tried to stretch my legs and get up and just fell down in one swoop. It was like I had no legs.. took me some time to realize what had just happened. Eventually the circulation returned and wrapped things up. Don't know that this is telling me other than "you need to do this more often so that you can recover from sitting cross legged for an hour and a half, sooner" 

Amma, this one is for you!

Given my mom is "worried" about my hair loss, this angle perfectly avoids the bald spot.. so going forward, going to make this the default angle! 

Now why Irony? Well, as part of the thread changing ceremony we use rice and sesame seeds in water as an offering.

 

Given my allergy to sesame seeds, playing with that water is like playing with fire for me. Maybe there is a hidden lesson for me in that as well. 

All said and done, there is a new thread and I look forward to explaining this to folks who ask about it over the next few weeks, from new yoga buddies to TSA agents!

While searching for previous links on the thread changing cermony, found this one.. someday the little one is giong to see what she puts her daddy through!

Another year.. still learning.. still searching for answers!

A thousand moons

Last week was eventful for the family. My in-laws visited us. San's uncle from Australia also visited us. The big event?

My MIL's dad's brother crossed a 1000 moons! It is a big deal in South India and there is a grand celebration

- when a person crosses a 1000 full moons

- is still married to the same person 

The couple get to perform a prayer that is a mix of "thank you god for the 1000 moons and the happy married life" and a wish "for many more moons". Once they finish the ceremony, they get some kind of rock star status and everyone gets their blessings. In Chennai (Madras) where I grew up, this function is so auspicious that once the couple finish the prayer, folks who were not invited to the function just show up in a long line to fall at the couples feet to get their blessings. 

Used to see a few of these ceremonies as a kid. They are rare events in a place where life expectancy for men was 62 and women was 64 twenty years ago. A thousand moons is approximately 29,501 days .. and happens close to the persons 80th birthday. 

Given most of the folks who are in their 80's got married very young (some of it was child marriage), the ladies who survive this ceremony should actually be the rock stars.. at least that is my humble opinion. Putting up with any guy for those kind of periods deserves a lifetime achievement award. 

In recent memory, I have attended three of these ceremonies. 

First in 2005 (San was pregnant with the little one then and Jr. was a toddler) we attended my maternal grandpa-grandmas function. Still have great memories from that one.

Then in 2007 when the little one was 14 months old, we went for San's paternal grand parents ceremony. Was mostly inside a dark and dingy room in the marriage hall taking care of the little one, who was very cranky and almost missed most of the happenings. (have only a few photos from that event on my camera rolls!). It was a great party of sorts again with a large family.

Then there was last weekend. San's maternal grand-uncle celebrated it. Given he is local, they celebrated it here instead of in India. How they managed to get enough folks well versed in the Vedas to do the recitation and prayers was in itself impressive, not to mention them going through a long ceremony with a smile.

They reminded me a lot of my own grandparents. When a guy who is 80 can make his lady smile for his jokes and make her blush at times, after being married to her for what appears to be a jillion years, it is more than an example for the younger generation.

You get a glimpse of what it takes to have a long and happy married life.

I realized there is a lot of work to do on my joke list!

The next generation (my parents, in-laws, uncles and aunts on both my side and Sangeetha's side of the family) are all getting around the 70 year mark.

Our sincere hope that a lot of them make it to a 1000 moons and we get to see more such ceremonies in this lifetime.

We also got to see Jr. dress up in her half saree for this occasion. She is the same height as her mother now and has declared herself a teen, even though she has a few months to go before her 13th birthday.

Now the in-laws and Uncle have gone back, the house feels empty, save for the occasional fighting between Jr. and the little one.

San and me have only another 36+ years to go.. just typing that out made me want to go to the bathroom.

I plan to interview these people in detail and find out more about their winning strategies.