Celebrating Deepavali in India

It has been 25 years since I was in India for a Deepavali ! You can celebrate all you want in the US of A with family and friends, but somehow nothing comes close to being in India on Deepavali day!

On a whim, got last minute tickets to go to India straight from my business trip and spent the weekend in Chennai. I have spent 3 days with my parents in the last two years and made a promise that will go see them even if it was a solo trip without wife and kids and even if it was only for a weekend. Glad that I made it.

San got me tickets on Air Asia. That was an interesting thing in itself. These guys take the Airbus flying quite literally. It is like a local "bus" ride in the "Air". They take this "low cost airline" concept to an all new level. An unnecessary security check within their own gates to throw out my water bottle and then charge for water on the flight! It was an all time low on my flying experience list. Once I reached Chennai and got a bear hug from my niece, that was temporarily forgotten. 

Then I got to see my dad, which was one main reason for going. He has tremors now and is conscious of it. So he doesn't come to the phone or skype often. That said, he manages it pretty well. He knows when he cannot talk and stays silent and is very meditative. When the tremors subside, he is normal and goes about his usual activities. 

He asked me to take pictures of him this time...

Then there was our second failed attempt at recreation of the old picture routine.. 

Lots of fireworks! 

Lots of fireworks.. 

I taught my nephew how to hold an oothubaththi to a Kuruvi vedi and that experience alone was priceless. The poor kid had fractured his arm and was just out of his cast, but was so hyped up that he was running around the terrace with me in all that excitement. 

He reminded me of someone all the time... me!

My niece did my hair and make up as part of Diwali and I sat through it patiently thinking "my sister used to comb my hair for hours, then my kids did it.. you are probably the last one to get the experience of combing my hair as there is not much left to comb these days!"

Fireworks are not the same anymore from when we were kids.. They sell these fireworks where each piece is like a long tube and they are like 4th of July fireworks, expensive and fancy. 500 rupees for just one piece but very nice. The entire city was lit up with these things! It was non stop from every roof top. Just an amazing sight to watch. The smiles on the kids faces.. it is something to see when every kid you walk by is just all smiles! 

Here is a video composite of the whole fireworks experience.. this doesn't even come close to being there!

(WARNING : the background noise in this video is very high !) 

Then there was the sweets and savories. My mom made sure that 177 yoga classes for the year were nullified in 177 minutes. To summarize "she kept me well fed" for the three days. By day two, I started saying "enough" before she even put anything on my plate, because she would continue to pile it on my plate for a good two seconds after my saying stop! Some things never change. Had just told my brother to lose weight and go do some yoga and he gave me a look and a smile that said "if you live with mom in the house, no amount of yoga is going to get your weight down". He was right. Have put on a good 5 lbs in 3 days!

If you are wondering how come I have eyes only for San.. look no further.. think there is a gene for that which gets passed on.. 

It has been one hectic but memorable trip! 

Heartfelt wishes, belated as they may be, for everyone's lives to be filled with light and happiness! 

Portraits

My new favorite Portrait place?

If you still have not guessed it, it is the Chuck E. Cheese. The kids always have fun.

Even the adults get to have fun. Take portrait sketches! Which look much nicer than the real portraits from the studio!!

The kids are missing my brother already. We are now fielding 20 questions a minute on "why did he come here?", then "why did he leave?", "when will he come back?" "when will we see him next?", etc. etc. It is always tough on the little one because just as she warmed up to my brother, he went back to India.

Guess we can't have our cake and eat it too!

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Conversations with my brother

My brother is here! He came here for just three weeks. Before you know it, his trip is coming to an end and he is going back to India.

The best part of his trip was that I got to talk to him for 40 mins in the morning and forty minutes in the evening while driving to work and back (he became my carpool buddy, as his client was just 0.5 miles from my office!). Have not had a chance to talk to him this long in the last ten years where during our India trips, there would always be a lot of background noise, interruptions and just plain lack of opportunity for us to talk. After I got married and he got married and started families, it was pretty much impossible to talk.

There are only two guys who have that kind of rapport with me. The kind where you can finish the other persons sentence. My brother and Dr. Durga (who is currently absconding).

My brother does not read my blog. He thinks it is an abomination that should be stopped. "How can a person put such personal thoughts into free space?" he asks me. The only answer I give him is "Because, I can!". He nods his head in disbelief.

We have had our share of jokes. So here are some things that lightened my day.

Apparently they are opening a new saravana stores in Adyar which has the potential to clog the entire area. His fear was that it would take him 40 minutes to get from the steet to his house via Saravana Stores. When I asked him what this is all about his response "Do you know you can get anything, anything in Saravana stores? Their jingo should be "komanaththilirundhu Koorai pudavai mudhal anaiththum kidaikkum". ( கொமணத்தில் இருந்து கூரை புடவை முதல் அனைத்தும் கிடைக்கும்!) ie., We sell everything from a loin cloth to a wedding sari . That cracked me up.

When I picked him up outside his office, he kept waiting. A car was also waiting. Finally he crossed the road. I asked him why it took him so long to cross the road and he said "I was waiting Indian style for the car to go. He was waiting American style for the pedestrian to go! I still cannot get over the fact that people in cars wait for pedestrians here! It is just unbelievable." I just smiled.

Then we had a long long continued discussion over my being the only Ph.D. in the family( maternal) or the only one who is not in the IT field! He had an interesting concept that definitely did not strike me, till he put it that way. We did an analysis of the professions of our parents, uncles and aunts, and our professions and our cousins. In effect they are all doing the same jobs. Here is my excel spreadsheet summary..

If you notice one thing on my parents generation, everyone gravitated towards a Government Job! (My mother, her brother and four sisters all work(ed) for the government!)

My grandfather was a finance clerk and my grandma was a homemaker. They had six kids! They grew up in very difficult circumstances. They studied, and tried to get placed in the one job that guaranteed stability and financial security, a government job! When I graduated and wanted to come to the US to do my Ph.D., my uncle gave me a long lecture which started with

"Sundaram.. akkadannu oru bank exama ezhudinoma, sivanennu oru bank udhyogaththa paathundomannu irukkama ennaththukku da inda America Gimerica ellam? Avan chandra mandalaththukku aal anupparanam. Inge jananga sOthtukke vazhi illama thavikkaradhu! PaNatha vachchundu enna pannaradhunnu theriyaadha alayaraanunga, ange poi nee enna da panna pore! etc. etc." and the entire family pretty much pitched in with a "thatasathu" (which is along the lines of an Amen or Insallah or "so be it"!).

For those of you Tamizhs and non-Tamizhs here is the verbage and its english translation..

சுந்தரம், அக்கடானு ஒரு பேங்க் எக்ஸாம் எழுதினோமா, சிவனேன்னு ஒரு பேங்க் உத்யோகத்த பாத்துண்டோமானு இருக்காம என்னத்துக்குடா இந்த அமெரிக்கா கிமேரிக்கா எல்லாம்? அவன் சந்திர மண்டலத்துக்கு ஆள் அனுப்பரானாம்! இங்கே ஜனங்க சோத்துக்கே வழி இல்லாம தவிக்கறது! பணத்த வச்சுண்டு என்ன பண்ணறதுன்னு தெரியாத அலையறாங்க, அங்கே பொய் நீ என்ன டா பண்ண போறே ? ......

Sundaram, instead of simply writing a bank exam and settling down in a bank job, why do you need all this America Gimerica stuff? Americans are sending people to the moon, while people are dying of starvation here! They have a lot of money and don't know what to do with it. What are you going to do in a country like that? .....

It would always drive me nuts when people hold the ability to blend in with the crowd and being average, as some kind of virtue! As it so happened, I did not write a bank exam four years after getting through the IIT entrance and graduating with a B.Tech in Metallurgy, although it would have made the entire family proud. Thank god for small favors!

Lets come back to my brothers observation, which has to do with the N+2 generation. We were all raised in a lower middle class background where at least one or both parents were government servants, but the paychecks were not big, the houses were rented and anything that you did not need absolutely, you just did not get! We were trained to understand the financial circumstances of the family and were taught that if we wanted to at least have the standard of living that our parents had, we better start loving that big fat Bank exam book that our uncle and aunts used to use as pillows!

The funny thing was that there were people around us who were way more well to do than anyone in our family. They would never be used as role models or examples simply because they were in "risky" professions, were "probably" not earning an honest living simply by the amount of money they made, or branded as people who had "no respect for the right combination of money and values"!

Save for me, the rest of the siblings and cousins all got nice degrees in everything from BITS Pilani, REC Trichy, Venkateswara college, Crescent, Meenakshi, St. Josephs, etc. and they all write code for a living!

The bro's point being, given a choice my uncles and aunts would pass on their hard earned government jobs to their kids, were it not for the fact that most or all of their jobs are being replaced by Computers! In effect the N+2 has taken the job of the N+1. The bank tellers son is now writing the Log In screen for Citibank and the Auditors son is writing code for some International Auditing firm! Today's version of a teller job is an IT job! (this is strictly in context of the examples in this post. I am not generalizing all IT jobs as the logical evolution of the Clerical job from the previous generation).

If you think about it, it does make sense. In India's current job market, a job with Infosys, TCS, CTS, Wipro or HCL gives you the same sense of stability and financial security as the government jobs of State Bank, Indian Bank, Canera Bank, Syndicate Bank, Dena Bank of yore! In those days a "government job" meant a better mate in the arranged marriage system. Today the "IT" job has the same effect!

As for a Ph.D in Materials, it still sticks out like a sore thumb! The conversation now veers to "See, we can get jobs anywhere in the world. But can you have a semiconductor fab in India? Maybe in another 20 years. Maybe never! What is the use of doing all this work, if you cannot come back to India?" and I respond with "I am very happy with what I do here and have no plans to come back as of now! We will cross that bridge if we ever come to it."

It almost appears as though, yours truly doesn't speak the same "language" as the rest of the family!

If only I could converse with them in C++, assembly language or Java?!

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