The perfect aftershave..

Yes..

Yours truly.. Dudeji Beardybaba, as I was affectionately called by friends and family alike over the last few months have had a setback of sorts in prepping for my next career move. 

To put it simply, the beard is gone. It just got to that point where letting it go, became an appeling option.

The beard survived for 7+ weeks and it was no longer patchy. It was an "official" beard that could enter into a beard competition.. it made it to Asia through multiple airport securities without being the cause for "random" security screening as was expected by the rest of the face.

It made it through multiple meetings.. it made it through rides in the Shanghai metro where it was the only beard on the entire damn train.. well I was the only Indian on the entire damn train, but the beard stuck out to the point where kids were staring at me non stop and their parents were politely teaching the kids "not to stare". The beard become a social education tool for Chinese parents.. it had value!

Having finished work in Asia, gave up on biz upgrade chances and flew back early on "premier economy", just to beat jet lag by sleeping in my own bed. The beard became "itchy and scratchy" during the return trip while attempting to sit and sleep by leaning on the plane window!  

It got completely messed up.Could have taught homeless hobos, how to look like legit homeless hobos after getting out of SFO. My Uber driver was not sure if I was the passenger or some guy trying to get a free ride, and was checking twice. Even that believe it or not, was not the last straw.

My lovely wife of almost 20 years, always greets me with an unreserved hug when I come back from Asia.. she is glad to see me because she knows the next pickups and drop offs from classes for kids,  will all be on me at least for a few days post my return.. Today she gave me a hug that said "yes, I would like to hug you, but without getting anywhere close to your face".. it was a hug that one gives their boxing match opponent or a hug your nurse gives you at the time of discharge when you are the huggy type and she too is the huggy type based on her other patients, but you are being discharged, after being treated for rashes.. 

That was it..a line was drawn and I decided to shave. It turns out that shaving a 7 week old beard is not easy. Having had no such prior experience, it was tricky. First you have to use a trimmer to cut it down and then shave, or you can cut yourself pretty badly. (note, if you need additional tips, will be glad to give you some).. 

After 15-20 minutes, the beard was gone.. but it is not easy to get used to its absence. Did not realize that I got used to the beard.. it kind of grew on me!

After coming home, had a severe migraine and stomach pain and did the only thing I could think of under such circumstances.. Go do Bikram Yoga. 

Went to the first class that was available after coming home and the class was awesome. Somehow my symptoms after shaving off a 7 week beard was similar to what folks describe after getting their limb amputated. It was weird. Standing in front of the mirror and breathing made my nose all hot. It was like running an airconditioner without the filter.. 

Then halfway down the class, while doing leg stretching head to knee pose, a few gallons of sweat just went straight into my nose. The whiskers and beard would not have allowed that.. It took me a few minutes to recover from the stinging in my nose and sinuses before rejoining the class. 

There is one good thing about having a clean face. I can actually see myself smile better in the mirror and it makes for great positive reinforcement. 

Also the yoga class did me a world of wonders. When you sweat like crazy, that skin smoothes itself out and all the itching and scratching is gone! 

San took before and after photos..the little one hasn't seen me yet and will possibly be thrilled that the beard is gone. She was not a fan..

Same smile, but one gets trapped in the beard. Now when the teacher in Yoga class says "with your happy smiling face..." there is a visible happy smiling face!!!

The beard did have the best run this time..who knows when it will come back?!!

If it does not serve you, let it go!

Heard this once too often at the beginning of yoga class. Take a deep breath, and when you exale let go of anything that does not serve you... all your negative thoughts.. etc. etc. 

I let go of shaving, just to see if I could grow a beard for 40 days. Given there was no travel in February thanks to Chinese New Year, thought I could pull it off.

In spite of looking a good 20 years older than San, was still smiling.. 

It was coming along nicely to a point where I could pass for "his holiness, the beanie baba".. even the family got used to it as did my co-workers. 

Then the beard turned into a nightmare. It started itching. You try doing a 90 minute yoga class or stay in a 3 hour meeting without constantly trying to scratch your beard ! This beard experiment has been tried before, but never did it reach this critical point..

Then I heard the teacher say yet again "if it does not serve you, let it go!" and decided to let the beard go..

As usual, there are before and after pictures for this social experiment.. 

The itching and scratcing is now over! Funny thing was that after I shaved, it took the kids sometime to even realize the change. 

There is a blatant double standard in the house. I am supposed to notice tiny changes in them.. (refer to this post) and they can't notice the change in the photos above for a good 30 mintues!

A social facial experiment

It has been a month since I deleted the folder on my iPhone that said "social" and also deleted the entire history and autologin for all sites on my laptop.

The accounts are all there, but with two easy steps I cut off the urge to go click on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Linkedin etc. 

This is not the first time I have tried this, probably the longest in recent years though..

Still kept blogging and am reasonably sure that deleting the cross post into Facebook/Google Plus for the posts made sure no one actually read any of my posts! Blogging is pretty much dead and other platforms have taken over. Those of us who still blog, do it for their own reasons. . . 

The world is doing what it is doing, my work kept me more busy than usual and I managed to do another 60 challenge, the first time in summer, against all odds. The absense of social media helped. 

Still had to check gmail and everyday would be getting emails from FB and Linkedin etc. saying "have you seen so and so's comment on so and so's picture?", "we miss you. please come back and login" etc. etc. Even my mom was not that concerned when I stopped calling her during my Ph.D qualifying exams in those days!

Given no one was going to see my face in pictures over this month absence, I decided to stop shaving. Everytime I try to grow a beard, there will be so much negativity from parents, inlaws, friends, not to mention San and the kids trying every trick in the book to get me to shave.. the pouting, the "dont kiss me with that beard" routine .. 

Also given the travel to Asia every three weeks, my face has to resemble my passport picture or I am sure there will be some "extra checks". Thought there would be a longer break between travels this time, but that was not meant to be. 

The beard growing was going reasonably well, till this morning. You see there is an activation energy for beard growing. It takes at least 21 days for me to get the beard looking like a real beard instead of patch facial hair. Once it crosses that point, there is some chance of making it with continued maintenance. It is my face, but apparently I have no rights to it per wife and kids! 

This morning I had to shave it off. It was a good experiment while it lasted. It is interesting to watch how people react to this.

Most people at work thought I was mourning something or someone. 

Most people at Yoga said "look different. it kind of suits you, but learn to trim it"

Most friends who saw me said "mid life crisis?" followed by "this too shall pass" or something to that effect.

Then there was one person who assumed I was a muslim because of the beard. That one was interesting in a funny way.

Asked Jr. to take a few snaps, with and without the beard this morning...

Apparently I look a lot better without the beard and look younger per the little one. I am allowed to kiss the family again and that is a big plus point! 

Now it is back to the routine. It is time to login to Facebook again and see who has been born, who has died, who has changed marital status, who has gone where etc.

Will be like visiting Chennai after three years! 

Tides change

We had a very fun filled and happy fortnight in early August with the festivities and as if by some voodoo, things took a nosedive.

My jaw locked up and started making clicking noises. It hurt when I opened my mouth for anything more than a straw and yawning sent electric shocks into my brain. After going back and forth between the doctors who diagnosed the symptoms as TMJ (and they were not wrong), going through jaw movement exercises, taking lots of Ibuprofens vs.  going to a local dentist who did not do due diligence because my dental insurance was maxed out (he did not even take a new x-ray and told me the same thing the doctors told me!) things were going from bad to worse. 

In the last two weeks I ate such wonderful things as Tomato rasam sadam with Vendaikaai curry smoothie, Poondu rasam with beans paruppusili smoothie, etc. (Rice with tomato soup + okra curry blended into a smoothie..). Was mushing up everything! The taste is okay, but the texture of some of these smoothies, if you could call it that made me lose my appetite. 

My two attempts at shaving also end up in aborted missions and I started to look like this..

The little one agreed to that pose as a "pity pose". She hated that beard! 

Finally we decided enough was enough.. well truth be told Sangeetha decided enough was enough of my moping around and found a dentist through a friend who had a reputation for fixing the problem and not worrying about the insurance! So went there Friday. At first they took an x-ray and called me back to say "you sure there is no pain in this area?" and my response was "pain? what pain? I have been in so much pain that my threshold has moved!" 

So they called me back for more x-rays which confirmed that there was a big area of pus in the place where my wisdom tooth used to exist. They "extracted" the pus and said "you don't need ibuprofen, what you need is antibiotics to fight this infection!" and they were right! In two days the pain was almost gone. The clicking came to a minimum and I could eat solid food again!

Today I made a long and slow attempt and shaved. The whole family rejoiced. Never knew that a little stubble could cause so much sadness in a house. 

Krishna ummachi teased me with all the crunchy stuff at the worst possible time but Pilliyaar ummachi was not going to disappoint. There were no Kozhukattais in the house today but San did make some yummy vadai and paayasam! Was able to eat that just fine.. 

Wanted to take a picture with the kids after eating the vadais! Was reminded that we took a picture just after this moment many years ago and dug it out!

and now..

I can still carry the little one for a little while! 

The only downside is that the molar will be removed tomorrow. I plan to hang it on a necklace as a reminder of the last 17 days of stuggling. 

The jaw seems to be one of those things that literally falls in "no mans land". Doctors send you to dentists and vice versa.. it is in the perfect "punt zone". I also learned the hard way that dental insurance works differently from medical insurance. With medical insurance you hit an out of pocket maximum (2000$ or 4000$ for example) and after that you don't pay anything for that year on anything that is covered. The insurance pays. 

With dental insurance, THEY have an out of pocket maximum. Once the dental insurance has paid their part to a total of 1000 or 1500 $ a year, they stop paying for anything more complicated. So god forbid you end up with two root canals in one year, you pay out of pocket for everything else!

I don't know why we cannot have our regualar insurance cover dental procedures also. Last I knew, the gums, teeth, jaw etc. are all part of the body!

It was not like I was asking them to cure me of baldness! 

The little one did think I looked "cute" even with the beard if , IF the sunglasses went with it! Something to contemplate as a "look" when the hairline goes beyond the horizon on the head..

They say all is well that ends well. Sure hope that this saga comes to an end once the tooth is gone!