Music and me.. the past

Given I have been singing a lot recently, thought of sharing my contact points with music in the blog. Things got to a point where this needed its own section in the blog. So after many years, opening a new tab, just for music!

To understand why I am where I am, it might not be a bad idea to explain things from the past. 

My grandmother, who is in her nineties, is a great Carnatic music singer. She had a lot of promise as a youngster and was noticed by many talent scouts (or whatever they were called in those days in Chennai). She got married young, had my mom at 15 and then her kids kept her busy. She still tried to sing after her kids grew up. Then I was born! At some point she became grandma daycare center and singing took a hit. There would always be whispers about how somehow my arrival had something to do with her singing expectations ending. 

My grandmother never mentioned anything to me ever. She always sang to me and would say "edhavadhu vadhyam vaasikka kaththuko.. ungamma appavala moonu kuzhandhaiya Engligh medium schoolukku anupparadhe periya vishayam. Ippo illattiyum ennikkaavadhu sandharpam kidaichcha, kaththuko!" 

(learn to play some instrument.. it is a big deal for your mom and dad to send three kids to English medium schools. Even if not now, someday when you get the opportunity, learn an instrument!"). I remember it like yesterday. 

Given my impatience, I rolled on the floor, cried, threw a trantrum and got enrolled in a Violin class at Shringeri mutt. It was a 1 hour group class in a small room in the office building attached to the Saradhambaal temple, near what is now Mandaiveli Rail station, and the monthly fees was 5 Rupees! However, there was no violin at home! I got to learn there and the teacher, a very old Iyengar thatha would let me stay back and practice for 30 minutes. Managed to learn the very basics, and did Sarali and Jantai Varisai there over a few months. Then things changed, school got busy and that was that!

Then I ended up in Varanasi. My classmate found out that the music department under Dr. N. Rajam had a beginners one hour violin class every Saturday. The teacher, yet another old Iyengar thatha, would teach four of us students and none of us had a violin! All three of us would practice the finger positions without a violin and play there on Saturday. It was also hard given Saturday noon was feast in the mess halls and this class would be at 2PM. We would fight the "undamyakkam" and try to concentrate in class.  

On top of that, it went swimmingly well as this thatha told me "You have to undo everything from the past and re-learn the right way". So over 5 months, I went from scratch (Sa-Pa-Sa) to Alankarams. Then the teacher got sick and the classes stopped. We became third year students and memorizing new English words on the Baron's GRE guide took priority over any other attempt to pursue learning Violin in Banaras!

In the last two months before leaving for the US, my moms school violin teacher taught me two geethams. Still no violin, but I did practice with her violin for a few days. She was a really great teacher.  None of the "Undo this and redo that.." business. She smiled and encouraged me to adapt as she was teaching me. Then I came to the US and given the two suitcases where my packing would have rivaled that of astronauts, it was amazing that the music book made it! Later I learned that my own sister was a student of the school from the very man who wrote that book! She sings well, but sticks to Carnatic music in select functions. Have not heard her sing otherwise or share recordings.

A few months into grad school, our senior and guide Vish Vadari organized a music class for a bunch of interested grad students and post docs. This was also a once a week, evening class on campus, where we would block a room and learn from a local teacher. She did something interesting. She taught us the basics (from Sa-Pa-Sa to Alankarams again) but also taught us music appreciation (as we were all adults) by teaching us Rama Nama Sankeerthanams by Thyagaraja. These are songs we have all heard in social functions like weddings etc. We even went as a group and sang at a local Thyagaraja aaradhana in New Jersey in a Church converted to a temple. This was my first attempt at singing carnatic music! 

Two years in, I moved schools and as a farewell gift, my grad school buddies all pooled in and bought me an antique violin! It was beautiful. They had it refurbed, new strings and all. Started practicing on my own whenever the mood hit me. It was always the sarali varisai to Alankarams. The one finger stuff Kalyani teacher had taught me before coming to US, was sadly forgotten.

It is around the same time that I started dancing and the music I played was almost always dance music. A heavy Latin influence to the point that my PhD thesis was dedicated to Julio Iglesias and Carlos Gardel. The only songs that came out of my mouth were in Spanish. 

Eventually ended up in the bay area. Got married, stopped dancing and tried to sing again after my wife encouraged me to go find a teacher and learn. The one place which was the go to music school in those times was in Fremont, a good 45 minute drive. Used to drive 45 minutes one way for a 45 minute music class.. Again from Sa-Pa-Sa.. unlearn.. relearn.. this time again, there were some small songs, taught occasionally.

Then jr. was almost on her way into this world and she became my music. 

When Jr. was in elementary school, I started to learn the guitar. That went great for a year, till my accident where my right arm was pretty much out of commission. It almost felt like there was some divine intervention that stopped me from learning music every time I crossed a six month period! If it happened once, it is a fluke, but this happened over and over again.

This time wanted to keep at it. Once my hand healed, thanks to yoga and another surgery, continued with the guitar. Learned for almost four years till my teacher said "You have graduated and I have taught you everything I could. The rest is up to you to practice and perfect!" . Then my job changed and ended going to Austin every alternate week and eventually to China and Taiwan every third week.

The guitar gently weeps.. still.. (here are  some old videos from the blog!) 

this video pretty much sums up my attempts at playing anything at home.. "Appppaaaa" would come the scream!

While I paint this as a bleak picture of me never getting to stick to music and being in the wrong place at the wrong time, truth is I was always close to music.

Here is the upside..

As a kid, I was always listening to my grandmother sing to me. My fathers elder sister was also an amazing singer and she used to sing whenever we used to meet or spend time together. She would tell me "Murali, unakku kural nalla irukku! Nee paatu kaththuko!" (Murali, you have a nice voice. You should learn to sing!) . Have never heard my mom or her siblings sing though, during my childhood.

Here are my dads older sister and my maternal grandma doing the aarati and singing. They would always be the ones to sing in any family function! (that grainy photo is from my Poonal)

My dad decided to splurge and get a Phillips gramaphone record player when I was around 4. We had only 5 records early on and we used to play it at bedtime almost every day in rotation. They were and I kid you not..

- Soundtrack of Ayappan movie

- Soundtrack of Adi Sankara movie

- MS Balaji Pancharatnamala

- Ayigiri Nandini by Anantharama deekshadhar

- MLV hits

Then my dad got a three disk MS set which had a black ODEON sticker in the middle. There were like 30 songs in those. A year later my uncle got a tape recorder after he came back from his first trip as a new employee. The whole family would be around this tape recorder. Tapes were becoming cheaper and more tapes were available. We could also "record" what we heard on All India Radio and our own voices. My grandmas voice was on a tape! My voice was on a tape somewhere!

We used to listen to music on a Phillips Transistor radio that had an antenna that went across the entire room. It was a copper coated mesh, that much I remember. We had it always set to AIR and listened to concerts and some film music. That was largely thanks to my last three aunts who were the younger generation and were fans of the movies that were emerging. This was the time where Rajni and Kamal were replacing Sivaji and MGR at the box office. Ilayaraja took over the airwaves. ( you can see that radio in the top shelf.. the TV was the first TV that we got. Doordarshan was our only channel and we would mostly listen to Carnatic concerts and the odd Hindi and Tamil movie they would play on Saturday and Sunday nights). 

When I was in 5th grade and suffered from severe Jaundice or when I had a skin infection and missed out on school for three months, would listen to whatever was playing on a small pocket transistor radio all afternoon with my eyes closed. That was my only solace during a miserable period. 

When I was going to college, my dad got me a Sony walkman from Burma Bazaar. I would spend most of my college days listening to all kinds of music on it. My collegemates, gave me a window to pop music which was also interesting!

The first thing I got after coming to the US was an RCA tape player and radio. Music was there in the lab all the time. On the plus side, I never had stage fright. Somewhere, there is a photo of me holding a mic on stage and singing at a TAGDV (Tamil Association of Greater Delaware Valley) Tamil New Year funtion. There was also another picture of me singing on stage at the Thiagaraja aradhana in NJ with hippie hairdo and all. Sadly, I cannot find those photos. Spent a day searching!! This is a photo of the Carnatic music group! Still in touch with Vish and Vatsan. The rest, I have no clue.. Hope they are all still singing!

Then the RCA player just started playing a different language. The feet were always moving, the heart was just beating to a new rythm! 

As a dad, would sing to both kids at bedtime. There was a nightly quiz for them called the "Tamil Mirugam Raagam",  which was questions about Tamil translations, a quiz about animals and identifying Carnatic music Ragas.  Had to practice a little bit, just to make sure they did a good job of identifying.

Jr. would guess about 20 ragas and the little one about four or five. This was when Jr. was ~5 and the little one was ~2. Still remember how the little ones answer to all clues were always "Is it Shanmukhapriya?" and when I would actually hum that, she will say something else!

We would play music on the radio or CD's all the time with the kids.. Learned to sing the entire collection of Rafi songs thanks to Jr. and the little one. The Boowah and Koala collection, Barney and Friends, Elmo hits. The musical taste just changed a lot. Wish there was a recording of my rendition of "down by the bay" or "baby beluga"! You would be proud of my effort!

Music was always there, in the periphery,  just not in a way I could sing and get better.

As the kids grew older, everytime I would start singing in the car, or sing along to something on the radio, the instant response would be "Appa, can you please shut up?!" . They would say "Please" before the shut up. 

Jr. learned to become a really good Saxophone player and the little one learned to play Western classical Violin. We wanted the kids to have music in their life. The amount of time I spent driving them to their class, sitting outside their class, hearing them learn and play, went by fast. Watched Jr. learn music for a few years, then decide to dance instead and do her Arangetram. There was a lot of music. The blog has videos of their journey with music and dance over the years! So we were surrounded by music and again it was just a different type of music. 

The antique violin still is in good shape. I just haven't gone to it regularly!

In the last 10 years or so, I had not opened my mouth to sing anything for fear of the "please shut up!" shout from the wife and kids. So shut up it was! 

Till earlier this year...

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