To have or not to have Pongal ?

Pongal is a festival that gives us a chance to thank the Sun for shining down on us and giving us food to eat!

2006 was great!

2007 Pongal was spent in Bombay with the in-laws (We had just reached, and were starting to go out)!

2008 brings us some questions. My aunt passed away a few weeks ago in India. My dad, who is the only sibling left of what was a dozen kids, could not even go to the funeral as he is tending to my recently operated mom in a city that is alien to him! I know that he shed a silent tear or two and moved on because of his current circumstance. That said, my mum told me over the phone that this year, there is no Pongal for us!

I do not know if this is a custom restricted to Indians? south Indians? Hindus? Brahmins? a sub set of Brahmins? etc. etc.

It is possible to understand the sense in the one year mourning(yes, it is a no festival celebrations rule, till the anniversary of the death), to remember the person who passed on. It might make that person's soul happy, when they are looking down and they see their family is toning it down when the rest of the townspeople are painting the town red, but no one can actually verify this.

The thing that gets me is that this is very hard on the kids. Many a year, as a kid, when my parents would declare no Deepavali due to the death of some older relative we have hardly met, we would actually curse that relative! If kids are closer to god and we were actually cursing the dead relative, the parents were doing more harm than good by not celebrating! They could have cut down the prayer and given the kids the sweets and fire crackers.

However, I do have to add that when two of my uncles (dad's brothers) passed away within a three day period, I really did not feel like celebrating anything for a long long time... I was also not a kid anymore! That was 1993 and those two back to back events left my dad and his elder sister the only two left out of a 12 pack!

On the one hand, I am torn by what my dad is going through. None of his generation is left. He might be feeling lonely for all I know. I do feel that my aunt (who I knew) could be remembered by a toned down pongal!

Not fair to Jr. and the Little One though. They do not know my seventy year old aunt. Jr. spent 10 minutes with her three years ago, and the litte one has never seen my aunt!.

I have decided that there will be no prayer, but there WILL be Pongal for the kids to eat. Planning to make the Pongal myself, with a silent prayer for my aunts soul to rest in peace.

In the event I do not make the Pongal, we know at least two local Indian restaurants that will have free Pongal! for all who eat there...

Here is my grandmother's recipe, in case you are interested in trying...

1. Take 3/4 cup rice+ 1/4 cup moong dal + a few spoons of channa dal, roast in pan in low heat to make them dry. Then, put in pressure cooker, add two cups water, one cup milk, cook partially (let your cooker whistle once if it normally whistles thrice) and set aside.

2. roast cashewnuts, raisins, cardamom seeds in ghee (clarified butter) and set aside

3. soak some saffron in a few spoons of water and set aside

4. In a big vessel, add 1 cup jaggery (or 1 cup of molasses liquid, if you are in a place like Troy, New York and Jaggery is not available! works the same) and 1 1/2 cups of water. Stir till the consistancy of the liquid is such that when you take it on a ladle and drop the liquid back into the vessel, the liquid does not break or spatter. Remember the ad's you see on TV where the cough syrup smoothly coats the inside of your throat? That consistant!

5. At this point, add the contents from the rice cooker to the sugar syrup and start stirring. Add some more Ghee and the saffron water and keep stirring. When the ghee starts to segregate, add the roasted Cashews etc.

6. Finally, sprinkle some pachai kalpooram into the pot (literal translation is green camphor. don't know where this is available in the USA. we have a small box, which I got from India in 1998!) and give it a final whirl.

You are now ready to taste something that is downright Divine!

To all those out there celebrating, Happy Pongal!

"Iniya pongal nal-vazhthukkal!"

May your year be as sweet as the Pongal you make!

A footnote: it is spelled pachai and not pachchai!! Here is the Wiki Link to the edible camphor! Got to go find out if this tree is available in the US! and plant one in the backyard right away...
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Comments

[Anonymous]

sundar:

happy pongal!

here's a http://parmanu.wordpress.com/2007/11/18/the-opposite-of-life/#comments" REL="nofollow">related read on some of your thoughts in this post.

- s.b.

[Anonymous]

hey sundar,plz dont publish your kids photo online...kannu pada poguthu.- A long time reader of your blog and well wisher..

[visithra]

there r 2 reasons 7 we restrained from celebrating

- in respect to the person
- to give us time to stabilise emotionally

that said its basically a persons emotional state to determine how long one should mourn - i believe children shouldn't be subjected to this - theyre too young to understand loss - n they have many years to learn that