Please sleep with me

It has been a while since daddy slept in his bed.

Let's say that it has been since the little one was born..

During the recent India trip, San had somehow made sure that the LO went to bed on her own. I never believed it. When I got back, the LO tried her "daddy, please sleep next to me!" puppyface routine and without realizing what a mistake it was,(and being guilt ridden for leaving her and going to India), gave in and slept next to her two days after I got back. She promptly used my hand for a pillow and went back to sleep.

Then we tried to say things like "remember how you slept on your own in your bed when daddy was in India. Do that and make us proud ! " etc. and it seemed to work. Still, she would wake up at 3, 4, 5AM and come to our bed and say "daddy , you lied. you are not next to me" or "I have bad dreams" or "my tummy hurts" or just plain wail for 30 minutes till I relented, afraid that she would awaken everyone else in the house.

That went on for 2 weeks.

Yesterday, she slept on her own. Cried at 4AM for 15 minutes and I came over and gave her my hand to sleep on.

Tonight, while drinking milk before bedtime, she asked me

LO : "daddy will you sleep with me"
me : No. sleep by yourself and make me proud
LO : but, but, I will cry!
me : why should you cry? you are a big girl. your akka sleeps on her own in her bed. You want to be like your akka right? go sleep on your own.
LO : but I am going to wake up and come to your bed.
me : If you wake up and have bad dreams or something, I will come sleep in your bed later. But right now, go sleep. I have work to do.
LO : I am having a bad dream
me : (!!!???!!!) what do you mean?
LO : I am having a bad dream right now daddy. will you come thacham(tamlish kidspeak for sleep) with me?
me : But you aren't even sleeping yet!
LO : I know. I am just trying to see if you will come...

so much for the deviousness of a three year old.

If the little one was a three year old boy, would he be this devious? the eyelash batting, the puppyface, the devious logic... somehow this has to be part of her being a girl and don't think anyone is even teaching her this stuff. Mommy doesn't do anything like this.. at least not in the last four years...Mommy just glares at daddy if she want's anything done! So where IS she getting this stuff from? Has to be in-born right?

I know.. I know.. that last paragraph is going to spark something somewhere, but cannot help thinking that!

This is like making a four month old baby to sleep through the night.. all over again.. except this time making her sleep through the night on her own!

I need to be strong
I need to be strong
I need to be strong
I need to be strong
.
.
.
.
.
Okay will write it a hundred times in a notebook somewhere.. and yes, didn't cut paste it 3 times.. actually typed it! and that should show you how serious I am about the being strong part.

.