Marghazi singing

Paadarivom Padipparivom has this wonderful idea to give a platform to students to sing one song each during Marghazi season. There is a lot of encouragement from this community for learning Carnatic music as well as Cine music.

Most of the fellow adult classical music students I have talked to, started learning in hopes that the knowledge here will improve their Cine music singing. It has been two years and two months since I started learning Carntic music again after a long break, from Koushik Ramchander.

He has been an epitome of patience!

For a novice like me, the support this group gives is just phenomenal. If there is one place where the Dunning Kruger effect is in full display, it is while learning Carnatic music or singing Tamil movie songs. 

When I started singing, my knowledge was very limited.. not that I could not identify ragas instantly or have a concept of what "right" sounded like. When my own voice was producing the output, my ears somehow selectively decided to be very forgiving when I was off. It takes a lot of "listening", very careful listening to understand that you are off. 

If a song had 600 notes total, I would be off on 400 of them two years go. Today I am off on 40 and going towards 4. My MIL has been my one constant judge and supporter while my mom has been my strongest critic. 

Two weeks ago, they agreed for the first time after hearing me sing a carnatic based movie song. My MIL told me my voice has finally adapted to sing SPB songs. My mom actually said this and I am saving this for posterity! She prefers if I stick to slokas and bhajans instead of movie songs, which is expected. 

My teachers at PP of course gave me honest feedback on every line of that song on where I was off in the notes, pronunciation and execution. The DK effect does play mind tricks, once you know finer details and appreciate what is actually required vs. where you are. You know what has to be done, but it needs a lot more effort to get there and it cannot be done in a week!

Not one for giving up, have been trying impatiently. That is the truth. 

Singing with just a Tanpura in background and your own hand to keep the beat was a lot more challenging than singing along with your teacher or fellow student on Smule with a familier fixed backround track! Almost came to the conculsion that Smule singing isn't singing and was downright depressed two weeks ago. This song is usually sung in the ragam Naatai (for most of the instances you find on Youtube). He taught it to me in Gowlai ragam. Asked my teacher why he thought I could do this and he said "You can do this Sundar! you already sang every line after me very well in class. you just have to do it at a stretch and on your own!"

Thank god for teachers. They tell you to buckle up, keep your head high and get your confidence back, one step at a time. Koushik Sir as I call him has been my music shrink as much as my music teacher. When you start learning at 49, the psychological challenges in learning need to be fixed as much as the skill gap. What he says between singing notes and making me repeat is the other half of the lesson, probably the bigger lesson! After many attempts, voicenotes feedback on whatsapp, he finally gave me the equivalent of the Oliver Cromwell look.. that made my day!

A heartfelt thank you to this platform and the folks who make it great!  

Carnatic music folks (especially family), this will not meet your standards. The good news is that I am okay with where I am today and tomorrow WILL be better than today! 

Thanks again to PP for this experience! It feels good to participate in the Marghazi season remotely!