Indha kazhudai ketta Manja sevuru

Have not posted anything about music this year and it is May. That doesn't mean there was no music this year.

The year started with learning classical music heavy movie songs and semi-classical songs for the entire January with Paadarivom Padipparivom, and I loved singing every one of those songs. 

We were busy traveling in Brazil and Argentina and I kept listening to "Vedam Anuvilum oru nadham" on repeat even while walking along the beaches in Copa Cabana. Knew I had to sing it as soon as we came back. Had hummed it silently so many times that when it came time to sing it, there was a confidence that the notes were close to where they needed to be! The rest of the songs in the genre were also appealing and challenging but loved it.

Also got a chance to be mentee again after two years and jumped at it. There were high expectations this time from my teachers and hopefully I didn't let them down. Have never tried singing Jathi ever and had to memorize the Jathi portions for a song and sing it. It was a great experience and my teachers were very happy with my enthusiasm. Will write about this mentee experience on a separate post. 

Then we went to India and work caught up and singing took a backseat for a good month. Every now and then, would banish myself to the unheated guest room with the yellow accent wall (hence the title for the post) and try to sing the song of the week from 10-11:30 PM. Given the kids are not here and my wife is busy watching some Korean serial till midnight, can practice till my throat protests. 

One fabulous thing that happened last month was the first US members meeting of Paadarivom Padipparivom in Dallas. Why Dallas? Because two of the teachers are now in Dallas and there are also three members there. One of them is an extremely passionate event co-ordinator and he pulled off what the three members in bay area could only talk about for the last two years. 

Students flew in from all parts of the US to meet and sing with the teachers and the other students. (some are not in the picture as they had to leave early to reach their destinations. there was bad weather and flight delays that weekend to add to our adventures)

The big bonus for us was a crash course on "how to get the most of a dynamic microphone" by the two teachers. Many of us who sing on Smule with our teachers use the mic that comes with earplugs which we hold with our hand (the earpods typically don't work well as they have a lag). When handed a mic in front of a live group the voice simply doesn't sound the same and one has to work too hard.. if you don't know how to use the mic!

Me happily demonstrating how not to hold a mic.. too low and not tilted up enough to suit my throat and mouth!

The teachers helped fix my problem in that one session. Turns out everyone is different and the angle you hold the mic and how close you hold it is something you can figure out easily. One has to practice it though.. kind of like holding the flute at the angle that suits your whistle. 

At the end of it, was able to hit high notes without straining my throat. Given the gain in the amplifiers, we don't even have to be loud. We can sing at a lower volume and sound way better. That was the big takeaway for me. All this time I was "seerghazhi govindarajan'-ing in front of a live audience. Holding the mic but using my real voice to reach.. bummer!

There was also great food and excellent conversation. Met some of these folks in person for the first time but feels like I have known them all my life. These folks are going to be friends for the rest of my life. 

It was great that San joined me for the trip. Within a day and a half, we managed to also visit 3 temples, eat at four places and catch up with friends and see the local area. Traveling with San is always fun for me as I just enjoy watching her be happy! Her face lights up when she is with friends and food.

Will cherish this trip for a long time to come! San also thinks my singing has actually improved. My first song was iffy beacuse I had practiced to a Smule track and was so used to seeing the gray and blue bars move to prompt me to sing and we ended up with a different track in Dallas.

There were two lessons there. First, just sing to the music and avoid the visual aid. Should have actually done that given the song was memorized already. Second lesson is to go before the start and get a feel for the sound of the room. Sometimes it is not easy to hear your voice when singing through a microphone because the amplified voice takes a second to hit your ear and if you are not used to it, you will be late on the beat. Guess this is why people use ear monitor in the mics. However that is not required. Just getting used to it before actually singing the songs does the trick!

San said I did fine after the first song. She even said it to our friends and that made me really happy. She sets the bar very high and we fight every now and then on the topic of "just repeating the same thing is not going to fix it. you have to understand what you are doing wrong and fix it and then sing it".. the repeats for me are to get to a basic level before even attempting fixes. We are clearly at different levels when it comes to singing! 

Now I am back to the manja sevuru every now and then trying to sing. Paadarivom Padipparivom has been a true blessing. The 4th year anniversary was celebrated last weekend. In two months it will be my 3rd anniversary with this wonderful group of people. 

My enthusiasm is still alive, but finding time with changed travel schedules and things at home is making it challenging to do more than just singing one song a week and practising Carnatic music for few hours a week.

Happy to be able to do at least that! 

Tea-iladha naalilaa..oru radiovilaaaa

We used to live in the top floor of a house facing a cemetery in Mandaiveli when I was a kid just starting school. It was more of an asbestos roofed shed than a proper floor. We had to go out of this room to use the bathroom. It was one large room with a countertop for the stove. There was the small terrace where me and my brother could play. My sister was a toddler. The big plus was the windows facing the cemetery, the main road and the intersection that had a few stores, not to mention a clear view to the tea and bhajji stall, right below the window.

Just watching the tea and bhajji's being made in the evening and served to the standing customers was quality entertainment for a 6 year old. As the older kid, I was allowed to sit at the window and watch the road. I also used to be sick a lot with a skin infection and my parents just let me be.

If the tea and bhajji stall was not entertaining enough, the radio in that stall that would always be on provided even more entertainment. Would sit and listen to movie songs from the window and hum along. Was introduced to the magic of MSV and the then sensational breakthrough genius of Ilaiyaraja.. without even knowing their names. We were not a movie going family.. that shouldn't be news to the readers of this blog.. there was always music though. A gramaphone record player where we would listen to MS, MLV and KJY (all carnatic!). I didn't know then that KJY sang some of the movie songs I was listening to from the window.

Usually the same songs would play at the same time for a few days or even weeks till a new song broke into the list. A few of those songs have stayed deep in my head and when I hear them even today, my mind goes back to that window!

One of those songs is "Vaan nila nila alla..". Had no idea about the movie it was part of or the significance of that movie as a debut for so many famous actors.. the song and the alternating violin were haunting.. all I got was the "nila" (moon) part and would see the moon through the window and would wonder why this song moved me the way it did! 

(could not resist the temptation to mix two photos.. one. of the harvest moon from our front yard and another one of me with a violin and use some effects on Photoshop)

Got to see a track for this song recently and sang it.

Didn't even have to practice for this one. Just listened to the original song once and gave it a shot. Had no idea all those song line variations were etched in my head! It just came out like I had been singing it all these years! This was as surreal an experience as me reciting Sri Rudram off my head sitting in some temple and suddenly imagining sitting in my grandpas lap and almost feeling his hand holding me by my stomach so I don't run away.

The song which has an amazing use of words ending in "la", takes you instantly to la-la land and probably sounded like a nursery rhyme to me as a kid. It was easy to hum.. even if I didn't understand at that age!

There are a few more songs from that time that still come out and I don't know how the lyrics went into memory..Machchana paatheengala, chinna kannan azhaikkiraan, Raja enbar, kadavul amaithu vaitha medai... just to name a few. 

It is amazing how music works its way into the brain.. subconsiously. More amazing is how irrespective of the sadness of happiness level of the song, the way they transport me back in time usually end of making me smile. Music is magic! 

My only recommendation from this is to expose kids to music. Especially melodies! It will definitely help them subconsciously during their adult years!  I am one small living example.

If you have similar experiences, please do share!

Someday I wish Paadarivom Padipparivom will teach this song as a solo, or I get to sing this in one of the platforms they provide for the students to showcase what they have learned over the years!

An age for everything

It has been almost two years since I got the Smule account and started singing. 

As of now, most of my friends agree on one thing. I have consistantly improved week on week by singing one song a week.

This has continued to this day. The song selections are not my choice though. They are all duets, but cover different times from the 1960's to 2010's and different music directors, singers, song genres over the years. 

Some are simple lyrically and crisp with no hidden meanings, some are risque and some are downright NSFW.. if you are in a workplace where folks speak Tamil that is.

While the compliments for the singing improvements keep coming on one side, there is also the comments on the songs themselves.

There is one repeated theme from family and extended family. Sing songs that are appropriate for your age.. aka Bhajans and devotional songs. It is no secret that I turned 50 a couple of months ago and this "age appropritateness" always makes me go "where is this written down?".. "who made these rules?".. at what age is singing what appropriate? 

I am not going against this logic blindly. Just trying to understand the categories and what age is good for what..

For example..

0-3 years: Nursery Rhymes

3-5 years : just Rhymes and kids songs. (think Rafi songs like Baby Beluga or Down by the Bay, when I write this)

5-15 years : Carnatic training (geethams varnams keerthanams , I guess if you are lucky enough to get trained?)

15-25 years : Movie songs (one has to sing them as youth or when else can you sing love songs?)

25-40 ? : Mature movie songs? 

40-50 ? : slokams?

50+ : Bhajans only?

60+ : stop singing ? as it is no longer age appropriate?

These questions have no good answers but have summarized the general suggested direction with ? 

Not sure if this is the generic thought process across Tamil families .. any stats collected in this regard would be nice to analyze!

If you actually analyze some of the slokams or devotional hymns that are in praise of the female goddesses, they describe the goddesses and their beauty with unparalleled metaphors that would make the modern day movie song lyricists look like nursery rhyme writers.. not that there is anything wrong with writing nursery rhymes!

As per this unknown age guidance, I am to sing devotional songs only for the next ten years and taper off to recitation mode only. Maybe this is written down somewhere and I am not aware of the source. Maybe it is the right thing to do. Who knows?

For now, I am just going with the flow and singing the song that is taught each week. Some songs suit my voice. Some suit my voice and pitch (preferably C# to D!.. now that I know what those mean). Some songs also work with my ability to show some emotion in the voice (Sadder the better ?!) 

I do put warnings when posting the songs if they have some double meanings.

If any of you would like to share your thoughts on the age appropriateness of select music, I would definitely be interested in compiling it and updating this post!

In the meantime, one song a week. You can check it out under my smule id sundar72ps.

Learning the hard way

Started writing this post last year, same time.. but it kept getting revised as time went by to the extent that it never made it out.

Sometimes a journey takes you through so many intermediate sights worth seeing that if you start waiting to post till you reach your final destination, all those posts just don't make it.. that is if your final destination is mind blowing. 

When it comes to the music learning journey, have no final destination planned. So it would be ridiculous to wait for some special moment to finish this post. So here goes. . . while this post definitely gets the "publish" button today, the music learning will keep going.

The previous posts in this blog tab tell you everything that got me to this point. I became a "student" yet again, trying to sing movie songs better than the average bathroom singer.  (I am pretty quiet in the bathroom as the showers are always 2-4 minutes maximum. Keep pushing my family to take shorter baths to conserve hot water and the associated electricity bill!). The singing happens in the car when no one else is present. 

After joining Paadarivom Padipparivom as a student, I got a chance to be a mentee in a live show. Got a call from my teacher and he asked if I am free on a weekend morning at 5:30 AM. Told him I will obviously be free, but singing with the family is asleep will be a challenge. Was also not ready for this! They knew I was a beginner. What were they thinking ? Putting me up in a live show to learn in front of everyone?  My teacher (as for some strange reason like all my other teachers) had more faith in me than I had in myself. Maybe that is a common trait for all teachers? Or maybe I just luck out finding teachers like this? One has to be very lucky to find the right teachers, for any subject! He said "you will do just fine! it is better for everyone to see how you learn from this experience as a beginner!"

There I was sitting on my meditation pillow on the floor in front of the now familiar "manja suvaru" or "yellow wall" at 5AM testing out audio and video. It was one of my favorite songs "Mounamana Neram" and I had been warned by family not to touch songs like this so as to keep SPB's memory alive. The fact that a million others are butchering SPB song's even as I type this post somehow didn't seem to matter to the family!  At least I was being taught the song by a teacher, word by word! 

The instruction 5 days ahead of this live experience was simple. Listen to this song on a loop 20-30 times. Listen to it and not just hear it. Pay attention to little details as you listen. So I went and did just that, or thought I did! This was also the first time the format of this teaching episode was changing to have two teachers teach two students at the same time. Male teacher teaches male mentee and female teacher teaches the female mentee. The female mentee was a quiet down to earth "pro". She was as tense as me as it was her first time being live, but later I learned that her hubby was her pillar of strength and was giving her a tutorial class at home. Me?! No such luck, as my family was trying to not get involved in this process at all. Gandhiji would have learned a thing or two to speed up the "Quit India" movement, if he had watched my family quit me that week.  I sat through that live teaching show and learned one thing. Listening to a song 100 times didn't do shit for my ability to sing it. The little nuances I thought I had understood, all nonsense! What was I even listening to?

Then came the harder part. Having to put out a song invite within 36 hours. There were two lines that I simply could not deliver! I got voicenotes from both teachers giving me a lot of confidence. The female teacher gave me slow motion notes on how to sing the thing and I still was struggling to sing it at regular speed. At one point, they took pity on me and said "this will do!" for the invite.  It reminded me of "that will do Pig!" dialog from Babe! A few people were nice enough to join my invite. I could have definitely done a lot better and have done better, since then. Given that moment in time when a zillion lightbulb moments happened in two days with respect to learning something, having a time crunch to deliver <100 words in a 4 minute song to near perfection and knowing I failed in 80% of the words, it was gut wrenching!

I am not just a student. I am also a yogi. If there is one thing my yoga gurus have taught me, it is that "falling down is human but getting back up and trying again, now that is a yogi!" 

Dusted myself up after that debacle and decided that I will do better every week compared to the previous week. Whatever that experience taught me, I was going to internalize it and improve on it every week. Was not going to give up on singing because I made a fool of myself on a live teaching show. If anything, this was like getting into an arranged marriage. You like or don't like something about her? It doesn't matter because you are already married to the girl. Just figure it out! Had already embarassed myself in front of the all the teachers and students in the music group, not to mention all my friends and family. This was like rock bottom. There was only one way to go from there! Improve week on week!

My teachers however, were talking as though they had struck gold with me. They were very happy with my sincerity and my ability to pick up at least half of what they were saying. One thing was also clear to me a month after this experience. I had to pick up the pieces and start learning Carnatic music at the earliest to be able to sing film songs better. My ability to place a note where it needs to be was pathetic. 

Given most of the teachers in Paadarivom Padipparivom were classical music teachers, I decided to start learning Carnatic (South Indian classical) music as well on the auspicious Vijayadasami day last year. My teacher(Koushik) is a patient man in his early forties with a lot of experience in teaching folks of all age groups. In  the very first class he told me "I am not here to teach you knack. Will teach you hacks instead". Will never forget the way he said it. He was in the business of teaching old dogs new tricks and he meant it. Classical music is learned by kids in south India at the age of 4 or 5 and they pick it up over time with a lot of practice over two decades. I was almost 50 trying to start from scratch again!

This needed a different curriculum and syllabus. One designed to keep a middle aged man interested enough to keep going and still make slow and steady progress. Koushik has managed to do it so far. It has been 14 months since my first Classical music class (which is once a week for 50 minutes) and I can in all sincerity say that every class has had at least one lightbulb moment and every class has built on the incremental progress from the previous classes. We have finished a full book of songs in 14 months. Given that there was no planned schedule to get anywhere at anytime, at least from my side, it was suprising that he got me this far.

He always reminds me of the four stages in the learning curve:

1. Unconscious incompetence : I don't even realize what it is supposed to sound like

2. Conscious incompetence : I realize what the thing is supposed to be like but don't how how to do it yet

3. Conscious competence : Know what is required but still a work in progress. all it takes is practice at this point and hard work.. the understanding is there.. but it is a struggle

4. Unconscious competence : can sing it with eyes closed and practiced ease.. no need to think about it! 

By the time the mentee experience was done, was going from stage 1 to glimpses of 2. Now after 14 months of learning Classical music and singing one movie song a week with a systematic approach, have gotten to start seeing stage 3 in the horizon.  

It is my sincere hope that in a few years, will get to 3 and eventually on to step 4!

In 2022, have sang 36 songs and submit them for reviews and have recevied valuable feedback from the teachers on every one of those songs! Have definitely improved as a singer in the last 12 months. Have also learned to appreciate what I am listening to, thanks to the improved awareness! Also know why some of my fellow students are a class apart from the rest. 

The highlight of 2022 singing was this.

Very happy to have music back in my life now! Also extremely happy to have found this community of singers at different levels who really encourage each other and bring out the best that everyone has to offer muscially!

If you are someone who wants to improve your singing no matter what your level is, would definitely suggest joining this community!  

The systematic approach to singing one movie song a week is an unfinished post as well. Will post that soon, as it will definitely benefit other learners!