Unattainable...

As of last week San and me have been together 11 years. A very short time compared to my parents (39) or my grandparents (73 years when grandpa passed away), but long enough for us to understand a postponing of the celebration because work.. work.. work.. came in the way.

Just like Indian festivals, birthdays, etc. etc. being pushed to the nearest weekend, the wedding anniversary plan was to go to Livermore Temple and say a prayer with the kids and San's parents.

We knew there was a Kumbhabishekham going on at the temple and we expected the crowd. It was a good walk to park and finally when we washed our feet and went to the entrance, the god's appointed bouncers asked us:

"are you kalasA sponsors?"

Me : No.

GAB : Sorry Sir. Today the temple entrance is for kalasA sponsors only. If you are a sponsor you can take the kalasA and go inside and come out.

Me : !!!!!?????!!!! We have come from south bay and my father in law is here only for three weeks. Can we go in and come out real quick?

GAB : very sorry sir. they are making arrangements for the puja tomorrow. regular devotees have to come back tomorrow.

So now we were "regular devotees". It did bother me a bit and got to thinking of how this blog got started and how the blogger mellowed out over time.

We drove all the way from Cupertino to Livermore and back without as much as going into the temple. This was a first with this temple.

They could have mentioned the prominently in the website or the folks who were regulating the traffic outside the temple could have asked us the same question and could have turned us around. Would have at least saved an hour, changed plans and driven my in-laws to some other place to celebrate. The Ghirardeli chocolate factory was actually our other(usual) choice.

God is in chocolate! God is in Vanilla! He is in every flavor is what we have always been saying.

Next year, the ritual changes. We celebrate at our usual favorite spots. The GG Bridge and some great ice cream.

Balaji Ummachi, why do you make me have this love hate relationship with you? Why?

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Manimals

Well, what exactly is a manimal? A man-animal aka "Purushaa-mirugham" in Tamil.

It is a scary looking stead for the gods. Oh, yes, the mind is still in Mylapore..

This one was on a weekday and there were high school examinations in the state government schools smack in the middle of the festival and the crowd was not as big or as enthusiastic. The local government is atheist and these days, the poor kids from Mylapore have to study while all the bands are playing outside. Now that, is tough!)

Just like the attendence on the last day of a cricket test match that was a definite draw, this crowd was comprised only of the real ardent devotees who were going for the record books to say "I attended every day!".

Still it was fun to watch as they did the rounds faster. The photo sampler follows..

Purushaa-mirugam (the manimal)

Singham (Lion)

Puli (Tiger)

All of them in series..

My theory? The whole idea of having a utsavam is to entertain kids and get them to like the temple and associated concepts at an early age.

This was the "catch them young" marketing campaign?

They definitely succeeded in catching me.

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What makes a festival festive?

Is it the gods?

Is it all the action?

Is it the crowd of devotees?

Is it the zillion other kids in the crowd?

or could it just be...

Kaathaadis of different shapes,

sizes,

and colors,

A billion bubbles

big ball and apple balloons

screeech screeech screech..

getting your hands on these WMD's minutes after your brother got his apple ballon

flutes galore

click click click click peacocks

and if you are a girl, some lovely nai kuttys (puppies)

glass and rubber bangles

and some paasi maalais from your friendly neighborhood kurathi

and is it?

sweet panju mittai (cotton candy)

thengai burfi and perichchambazhams(coconut sweet and date fruits)

poovam pazham, malai pazham, rasthaali ? (types of bananas)

pala cholai (jack fruit)

Pattani, pori kadalai (puffed rice and roast nuts)?

Do you still have any doubts?

Didn't think so!

ps. All of the above photos were taken between 4th and 6th April 2009 around two sides of the Mylapore temple tank around the Vijaya store corner during the Kapaleeshwar temple utsavam (festival).

pps. The photographers mental age at the time of taking these snaps was approximately 7.258 years.

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I love you, Ambuja

There is no dearth of love for Sangeetha. There is just someone else, we all fell in love with, on the recent India trip.

The old female elephant at the Vaidheeswaran Kovil, so full of grace, with an ever present smile, she blessed all the kids and me, multiple times for a modest fee of 10 rupees. Do not know her name, and hence we are calling her Ambuja!

We stopped at the temple, because it happens to be the family deity for my maternal side and San's maternal side. After spending a good 15 minutes with my new love Ambuja, we went to the temple "kuLam" or water tank. This, thanks to San praying that, if she makes me throw pepper, salt and jaggery in the tank, my frequent sickness over the first half of 2008 will hopefully stop continuing to the latter half of the year and beyond!

Considering that my hair has survived several tonsure attempts in the name of such prayers over the last decade, I usually oblige when it comes to throwing salt, pepper, jaggery, coconuts, cucumbers, or what have you into anything and everything, in an attempt to save my already receeding hair. "Sure, lets get the salt, pepper combo and dissolve it in the tank! I have done it many times before as a kid, so why not once again?", I said and off we went with the packets.

I flung the jaggery into the tank when the few onlookers gave me a "look"! To our rude shock, there was a sign at the Kulam which said "Please leave the jaggery in this container. Do not put it in the Tank". We were perplexed. This was followed by two dudes who had open boxes (one for salt, one for pepper) with a sign that said "deposit the salt here, and pepper here". I went ballistic! "WTF?!" I told myself in my head, unable to blaspheme in one of my favorite temples.

The whole specialty of this tank was that over jillions of years, people had thrown enough jaggery, salt and pepper to make a giant tank full of "paanagam", which was pretty much a ready to drink super strength "gatorade". My grandpa and grandma used to tell stories of how if they boil rice outside the temple with water from the tank, they would get instant "Pongal"! The special bacteria that thrive in sugar syrup mixed with salt and pepper were probably responsible for the millions of miracle cures reported by the bathing visitors.

In this day and age where a woman pays a few thousand rupees to get eggs, cucumbers, etc. on her face and hair to "fructify" and nurture herself, imagine the power of a tank full of Paanagam?! Healthy glowing skin, beautiful face, god knows what other powers the waters behold. Might have even been an aphrodisiac of sorts, which explains why so many prayers for kids were answered after a dip in that temple tank!

One has to drop off the salt, pepper, jaggery in the pond, then DRINK the water to wash away their sins and heal! How does one heal when you just dump it in a plastic bin? To top things off, dude 1 at the salt container said "Sir, take one grain of salt and one grain of pepper and eat it! only then your sins go away". I was about to give the dude a piece of my mind.. "I paid for the whole plastic bag, you idiot! Can eat the whole bag if I want! Bah. Bah.. Bah!", all said to myself inside my head, as he started repacking my sins, ready to sell them to the next person at the temple door!

The funny thing is, that this happened in Goa a year back when I wanted to light a candle at the Bom Jesus Basilica! They would not let me light the candle, instead there was that same plastic container!! Once filled with unlit candles, it would be taken back to the front to be resold! The prayer paraphranelia recycle business is hitting devotees hard, irrespective of religion.

We did go and drink the water from the temple tank, and it was still sweet! That was a consolation. On our way out, we went to check San's Naadi Leaf. On our way in, we had already given her thumb print and date of birth and they had told us that it is 150 rupees for finding the leaf and another 250 rupees to read the leaf if found.

On our return from the temple, the triumphant declaration was that the leaf was found and San went in to ascertain that it was indeed her leaf. She came out with a big smile saying all the details they mentioned about her dad, mom, me etc. were accurate. Then came the shock. To read the leaf was now 1500 rupees total. This obviously pissed off San to no end. Told her that it was her call and if she wanted to go read the rest, it was okay. After all we visit India once a year and we don't show up at this temple that often!

After about 30 minutes, she got her leaf reading taped. I got to listen to it only earlier today, but heard the highlights. Apparently the tape said San's hubby, aka yours truly is a very "saadhu" and simpleminded person! San was trying to disown the leaf, but considering the rest of the details fit like a glove, this had to be accepted as fact!

Other than that the reading was not as interesting as the one done 11 years ago by my parents! This Naadi astrology has become a highly commercial activity now. Where there was one office, there are now a whopping 23, possibly split factions from the same family that controls the palm leaves.

This time there were no written poems in old Tamizh, just a horoscope on the first page.

The person who did the reading was almost making horoscope based predictions, which any qualified Hindu astrologer would!

The thumb print classification system of these guys still baffles me. How they manage to get the exact names right, based on a generic gods name also baffles me, but my brother says they use a "yatchuni" and read your mind. Possible!

San was apparently irritated, because the guy kept saying she was going to have various problems and that if she did certain "parihaarams" (appeasement), wore certain amulets made of certain metals, she would mitigate the effect and was trying to sell her amulets in the middle of the session. She pretty much walked out early because there were two hungry kids waiting in the van. Apparently in the entire history of the Naadi Astrology place, she was the first one to lose interest after her leaf was found and walk out before the reading was finished.

Either San is a very unique person, or that dude overdid his salesman bit! Looks like the leaves are now a commercial hit, and that does not spell good news for people who actually believe in it, and go seeking what the wise sages wrote for them!

Naadi is still fascinating, but beware of business!

ps. If anyone knows Ambuja's real name, please let us know. She has a special place in our heart!

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India lives in Villages?!

The recent India trip time distribution was as follows:

Time at parents place : 7 days
Time at Sans Grandparents place : 1 day
Time at Marriage hall : 2 days
Travel : 1 day

While on the face of it, there appears to be a gross discrepancy in the way disproportionate time was spent in my parents place, let us assure the readers that of the 7 days spent at parents place more than 70% of the time was spent travelling between Mandaiveli and West Mambalam using a route that even I would not have imagined possible. Let me explain that in graphic detail.

As a guy who used to get lost within his own one bedroom apartment, within every locality we lived in, yours truly had a tendency to wander around. I used to miss exits on the freeway and claim to the Mrs. that we were taking "the scenic route", an excuse that would get me a smile and a dimple in her chin in those early years of marriage, compared to the "gas vikkara velayile..." (gas price being what it is...) lecture I get today... where was I? Hmm.. getting lost!!!

Even the guy who gets lost with this kind of consistancy, would not take a route to West Mambalam from Mandaiveli that involves taking a right on Chamiers road, geting on to Anna Salai via Cenatoph road, then going through the entire pondy bazaar just to get to Doraiswamy subway! What used to take us 30 minutes, now took an hour and 20 minutes, not to mention having to hear complaints from every auto dude about rising petrol prices, the longer distances, government policy, how no one knows which route is one way in which direction anymore, how cops are exploiting the new one ways to gouge unsuspecting auto drivers etc.

To top this, you see the guys in autos frantically screaming to the auto drivers urging them to drive as fast as they can, as one approached panagal park for fear that the women folk might just jump out of the stagnant auto, into Nalli's, Pothy's, RMKV's, Prince Jewelry or what have you at that corner! The reason, why guys always sit on the open side of the autorickshaw when rounding the south Indian Saree capital, finally dawned on me! Enough about traffic.

Now that we are back on track, lets say the probability density function of the Narayanan electron cloud around Madras was more likely to be :

Time at parents place : 2 days
Time at Sans Grandparents place : 1 day
Time at Marriage hall : 2 days
Travel : 1 day
Time spent in Madras Auto : 5 days

The only abberation in the cloud is the 1 day travel spent outside of the city, which actually happens to be the focus of this post. You can clap now, as though the title has been mentioned, in the middle of a Vijayakant movie!

We were not yet out of jet lag after reaching Madras when we were whisked away in a 13 seater A/C van booked by my FIL to take us to Anandhathandavapuram and back within one day!

Let's break that down for the non-Tamizhian folks... Ananda(happy)-thandava(dance)-puram(place). Literally, the place where lord Shiva did the "happy dance"!, with his wife Parvathi, of course (it is one of the few temples where the goddess is sitting on the lap of the god). With that in perspective, one is open to interpreting the "happy dance" part, as gods are always an inspiration, but that is outside the scope of this blog, which considers parenting as part of its staple!

The trip was promised as a safe, fast and comfortable one by the in-laws. While it was fast and comfortable, it was nowhere safe, especially if you sat on the front passenger seat with your four year old nephew on your lap.

While the kid thought he was in some real life video game, dodging cars, trucks and government buses coming head on towards you, on the wrong side of the road only to careen away in the last split second to pass a speeding bullock cart, the adults were screaming at the driver to go safely, who in turn was cursing the other drivers in "pure thoroughbred" -"thooya" Tamizh, unmindful of the octagenarians, ladies (or both) who were travelling within the same confined space.

The BIL and me, being the only young men?! in the van, learnt a lot of new "gaalis" which make us "current" w.r.t. Madras, sorry Chennai slang!

We even had a thirty minute break when our van encountered a fallen tree in the middle of the Highway. The locals came with saws and a mover to clear it. The kids had fun watching the proceedings, while goverment bus drivers decided to gridlock the road by trying to check out the happenings by coming on the wrong side of the road.

Soon the tree was gone, but the traffic was jammed in both directions! More choice epithets were used by the drivers on both sides, as the vehicles moved through surrounding marshes to continue on the adventure. The brigaspathi who started the jam, even obliged us with a picture!

Once we hit the villages though, it was pretty. Not many people in sight, a glorious calm, rice fields and greenery everywhere, the occasional hut with a few goats tethered outside, a few chickens running around and the naked toddlers running around behind the chickens! Pity we were on a schedule. Could have exhausted a 2GB memory card right there.

We went on to the little "kula deivam" temple at the edge of the village. The last time we visited the place was in 2001. This time the water tank was empty, but the greenery was still all around. We all got to bathe in the temple, then pray, eat food cooked for the prayer and then leave.

The best part at the end, was when the little one and daddy both asked the priest "where is the rest room?" and his reply was "inge adhellam kidayadhu. appidiye vayakattu pakkam pongo!" (there is no such thing here, just go around to the edge of the paddy field and do your business!). The little one, brave girl that she is, watched the chickens and goats and did her business. Luckily, no one took pictures of a sheepish daddy walking around paddy fields, in his dhoti with a mug of water in his hand, Vijayakant style!

The trip was a blast. It almost felt like Vijayakant was travelling with us the whole time in various get-ups because there was a poster of him every 10 feet, all the way from the village entrance back ot Chennai City, in village clothes, in military fatigues, in police uniform, looking tech savvy with rimless glasses and a cell phone, etc. etc.

What is a post about a trip without pictures? Here they are...

A place for good tea somewhere near Dhindivanam

If a tree falls...

The man with a plan!

The kids, looking visibly distraught at the first part of the roller coaster ride. Coming from US and Australia, where bumps are used as speed breakers, they were surprised by the drivers using the bumps as speed enhancers, by launching vehicles into the air!

Welcome to Pondy!

The speeding bullock cart with a top speed of 6 mph between two vehicles with a top speed of 60 mph. But the bullocks would give the Toyota Prius a run for the money what with the 60 mph vechicles consuming gas while the 6 mph bullocks, producing gas! Think the bullock carts are here to stay on the highways for a long time to come, because at the end of the day, it is all economics!

The nephew doing "peela" jadoo using a nimbu on the little one!

The village goats, a typical scene

The other avatar of Daddy Narayanan...

Posing inside the temple

Tickets to India for family of four : 6000 dollars
Renting a van to Anandatandavapuram : 600 dollars
Chasing your cousin in a village temple : Priceless

On the way back, we stopped at Vaidheeswaran Kovil to visit the temple, and the Mrs., on a whim, decided to check out her Naadi Astrology prediction.

That is where we stop today and continue tomorrow...

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