Castaway

For starters this post is being typed with two hands..(okay, one hand with the occasional assistance from the second.

The cast did come off and there was much amusement and happiness!

The kids would have loved watching this, but they had to go to school. They have to watch this video to see how it was done.

The hand has made much progress over the last six plus weeks according to the doctors. I was not happy with the range of motion. For example I can type with the fingers but cannot move my wrist on the laptop. It has to be physically placed on the laptop with the other hand. How to describe it? Remember the plastic hands that were attached to Natraj pencils so you can use it to scratch your back? The hand is like that, unable to bend at the wrist.

The doctors were happy after measuring various angles with protractors etc. and are telling us that I may be from another planet or am extremely thick for expecting too much too soon. So the next month of various exercises, to be performed with same religious fervor as Sandhyavandhanam should apparently do the trick.

That crazy looking picture is all the dead skin, which was the stuff the little one was pulling out of the cast a few days ago!

The cast was offered to us as a memento but we said "no thanks"! People use them as flower pots to remind them of the fracture, we were told. We decided the video blogs would remind us plenty...

Learnt a lot about fractures today. Apparently, the entire body directs all regeneration efforts to that single broken location in the body. That explained the 3x faster nail growth in the right hand, the weird hair on the fingers, the dandruff looking extra skin growth, etc., which were all part of this regeneration.

One more month of exercising, and things should be back to normal.

This whole experience has taught the whole family many things at many levels...

In other news, now that I can look over my shoulder, drove to daughters school (2 blocks away) with left hand and picked her up this evening. Made tea this evening and buttoned my own pants!

Thank god for small favors...and more importantly, thank you all for your wishes and encouragement. Now it is time for me to make progress as fast as possible to make the family happy..

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Some things are forever

Remember the little one's facial expression changes when she was a few months old?!

Things haven't changed much in three years.

Today we had a repeat performance and it was caught on camera!

Some things, never change!

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Happiness is..

The first time I actually participated in any underwear purchasing was sometime in high school.

Till then, it was totally done at the parent's mercy, mostly my dad's. They would guess our sizes and buy us underwear. The sizes would be +/- 10% and if lucky we would grow into it within the year! If not, we will suffer through it till a parent or grandpa figured out that something went horribly wrong and correct the mistake.

Around the time in high school, there was one trip to what was Hari Textiles in Mylapore where an old gentlemen who owned the store engaged us in this three way conversation:

Dad : Sir, payyanukku size 70 jatti oru ara dozen edunga. (Sir, get my boy 1/2 dozen briefs in size 70cm)

OG (older gentlemen) : (Looks up and down, it was more like up at my dads face, down at my waist then up at my dads face again. Scratches his chin with style that would make Dumbledore proud and pronounces his verdict) Payyanukku 75 podunga sir! (make him wear 75 at least)

Dad : Ille Sir, 75 romba loosa irukkum. Neenga 70ye kudunga. (No Sir, 75 will be too loose. Give him only a 70cm)

Me : (my happiness literally hanging in the balance) Why don't you let me try it on and I can tell you if it is comfortable!

Dad and OG seem to look at me with disapproval. That worries me because as agreeing adults, they could suddenly unite and come to a consensus. The fact that there was no 72.5cm option to average out their opinions made me even more wary! What if they settle for 70?! So I put on one puppy look for OG's sake.

OG : Jatti ellam try panna mudiyaadhu thambi. Venumna ippidi vachchu kaataren..(you cannot try on a brief. I can place it on your waist and show you). goes on to place the 70 along my waist!

Doing some instant Pythagoras calculations in my head using my waist size, distance between my navel and my you know whats, with some coefficients of elasticity of common cotton fabric thrown in for good measure, horror of horrors, the thing looked like it could be a close call!

Me : I will go with 75cm!

My Dad looked disappointed, either with me for not taking his side or at OG for having the balls to contradict him in front of his son...

Dad: Sure'aaa da ? (Are you sure?)

Me : Yes. Sure!

Dad : Okay Saar. 1/2 dozen kudungaa (give half a dozen). Make sure you give him only dark colors. He likes dark colors. (For once he was right. In those days, there was a strong liking for dark colors).

My dad would treat buying underwear for me or my brother with the same seriousness as he would buy brinjals and okra in the Mylapore vegetable market. Approximately eyeball quality or quantity, start bargaining, purchase!

Five minutes later, after settling for a 10% discount as repeat customer, we both walked out happy! Dad with the 10% price reduction and me with the 6.66% size addition.

Since that day(to the present), 99% of the brief purchasing has been done at the same Hari Textiles store in Mylapore. One thing has been constant. It has always been the same VIP brand with a simple red tag across the front of the waist band which said "VIP" with the size in cms written on the side.

99% because I did stray from being loyal to HariTex and VIP during a three year continuous stint in the US of A. If you are making a trip every two years or every year in some cases, you can predict sizes and purchase accordingly. Three years on the same size with cheese pizza as your main diet can cause some serious issues. So there was a "brief" fling with Jockeys.

The rest of the purchases, all in 1/2 dozen or dozen quantities have been made at that Chennai Landmark. Well, it should be a Landmark, because that place and that man have single handedly ensured that many TamBram boys have retained some semblance of a sperm count, in spite of their dads doing the undie shopping for them during their most important years!

In short, a whole generation of TamBrams owe their existance to that store and that salesman. Now why do we reminesce about those good old days?

The recent India trip in September, was wrapped up with a last minute trip to Hari Textiles. (it is almost always the last minute wrap up purchase item!)

Now that yours truly has almost transformed into his daddy over the years, the conversation went like this:

Me : Sir oru ara dozen VIP kudunga!(give me a half dozen VIP briefs)

OG : ?!?!

Me : Sorry. Size 90 oru ara dozen kudunga. (Sorry, give me half dozen size 90cms)

OG : ?!?! (does a Dumbledore again)

Me : Enna Sir yosikkareenga ?(what are you thinking?)

OG : Endha kaalaththula Sir neenga size 90? At least 100 venum! (in which eon were you a size 90 ? You need at least a 100 centimeters now!)

Was a little upset that OG put me aside like a little puppy and in a protesting note stated..

Me: Ille saar. Naan ippo 90 dhan podaren (No Sir. I wear a size 90 now) and go on to pull out the VIP tag from behind my belt buckle to show him the "90 cms" written in size 12 Helvetica.

OG : Neenga 90cm potta romba tighta irukkum. Not healthy. Sadaa irritatedaa iruppenga.. (if you wear 90cm it will be too tight. you will be constantly irritated)

Me : (looking at San who is about to split her sides laughing, and also knowing that OG ranks somewhere next to Master Yoda on the inter galactic intelligence scale, somewhere higher than even my all knowing dad!) Neenga sonna sairyaa dhan Saar irukkum. Size 100-e kudunga. (If you say so, it will be right. Give me the size 100.)

Some people never learn, and some people here is just an indirect reference to myself!

After coming back from India, a week or two went by before one of the new 100cms was picked at random from the brief drawer.

That entire morning went by with me walking around work with a noticeable difference in my level of chirpiness! So much that at the lunch table a friend commented "What is up with you? You seem to be very happy and comfortable today!"

The "comfortable" word connected a lot of dots in my head instantly. It was noticeably obvious. The secret to the local happiness was found. It was the luxury of 10 extra centimeters of elastic around the waist and Pythagoras working his mathemagic away from the hypotenuse.

Happiness was,is and will be, wearing the right size underwear!!

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How to make a happy person happier

Yes! I would like to write a self help book with that title but I doubt it will sell many copies because no one is interested in making the happy, happier!

Yet, this is a conundrum many of us middle aged folk?!, face every year, be it shortly before an India trip or during gift giving festivals when our parents, in-laws or older relatives are here in the US.

Why should giving a gift to someone in the 55-80 age group who have kids and grandkids, be so difficult ?

I will elaborate.. Finally I have the time and inclination to elaborate and I don't get paid by the word to write this blog anyways.. so I get to ramble on!

Scene 1 (1995) : (before first trip back to India)

me : (to dad) what do you want ?
Dad : get me sunglasses. The doctor has told me that my skin problem is because of direct sunlight. I wear only full sleeve shirts these days. So get me a cap and or sunglasses..
Me : sure (I go buy a Rayban for 50 bucks and take it to India)

Dad : Nice glasses. Fits me well too.. How much did you pay for it?
Me : how does that matter. You wanted glasses. You have never ever asked me for anything. I got you nice glasses that fit. Wear it.
Dad : How much did you pay for it?
Mom : Your dad was so upset that you sent all those photos by mail just three months before your trip. The postage stamp says $8.50 !(doing mental math) that was like 400 rupees! How can you be so wasteful? Where did we go wrong in raising you! You have changed in less than two years! This is exactly why I told your dad not to send you so far away! blah blah blah and more blah..
Dad : Look at him! He still has not answered my question! How much did you pay?
Me : $50. But that is the cheapest original Ray-Ban glass you can get in the US. Even if you buy it in the smuggled goods Burma Bazzaar here in Madras, it would cost you that!
Dad : Shakes his head, doesnt say anything.

(I found out in 2001 that the glasses were never worn. They stayed put in the "Godrej" locker along with jewelry and important documents. It is probably still there, accumulating in value. Someday when the world comes to an end and aliens search the earth for clues about human life, they will find that Ray-ban and will know something?)

Scene 2 (2003): (mom and dad are here on their first visit)
me : Amma, what do you want for a gift?
Mom : If you go to work at 9:00 and come home by 5:00 to be with Jr. and stay healthy, that is gift enough!
me : But what you are suggesting will get me fired and I will be sick anyways if I dont have a job and will have to support a family!.. besides, even you have the flu and you have been inside the house for the last month!
Mom : I can't talk to you anymore. I need a lawyer to talk to you. I got Sari's and Jewelry from India. Have not had a single occasion to wear them out here in this place. Start listening to your mom, at least your wife! That is gift enough..
me : I can only give you something physical which I buy from a store. That is all the bandwidth I have.. so tell me what you want!!
Mom : Then I dont want anything. I am fine!

Scene 3 (2004): (MIL is here 2nd visit. Her first visit went well. She wanted a perfume and she got it. Rather uneventful)
Me : what do you want ?
MIL : It has been almost a year since my dad passed away!
Me : (Mom was better.. Is she going to ask me to bring her dad back to life?)
I am going to shop at Wal-Mart.. Do you want any specific gift..
MIL : No. I am fine. If I need anything, I will buy it myself next time we go to Wal-Mart.. If you stop fighting with my daughter, that alone is gift enough..
Me : (ARRARGHHH! That will teach me never to leave that an open ended question...) Okay, I will try. Tell that to her also.

Scene 4 (2005) : BIL is here
Me : What do you want ?
BIL : Let's go to Fry's Electronics
Me : That's my boy!
BIL : Actually I don't need anything.. let's just window shop and if we find something, we can always order it online on black friday!
Me : (getting all teary eyed).. Anything.. anything for a guy who just said that.. take the whole store if you want!

Now that I have clearly shown you the vast divide in getting a gift for a twenty something and a fifty or sixty something, I will list all the gifts that have actually worked (even if for that moment only. This includes success stories from friends). Before we go into things that work, a short note on things that do not work! Any thing that has a US plug for 110 V, you will be cursed and will go to hell. Your IQ will also be questioned! Now back to things that do work...

1. Peppermill (preferably the fancy IKEA ones, but fill them with Cardamom seeds instead of pepper) works great for families that drink tea, and who put cardamom in their tea! You will become famous with the local 50+ crowd. The downside : You might be taking a suitcase full of those peppermills on your next India trip.

2. The cute v-tech phone (from Costco)set with four receivers which have the intercom feature between the phones! There is only one physical line that gets connected to the base with answering machine (this does not need any split lines that instantly cause problems in India with the BSNL). This also gives mom/dad, no.. just Mom, a chance to have total power over the house!

3. The one click umbrella. Click the button to open, click it to close automatically. I believe it is availble in plenty in India now and is no longer a novelty. But my grandpa liked it then years ago!

4. Handheld ear thermometers, home blood sugar test kits, blood pressure kits, etc. Works with the ladies. The ones with graphing capabilities to show trends works well with the men.

5. Digital cameras. I know, I know. They are available in India in equal abundance and for lower prices.. but believe me, most of the people I know say "Digital, bigital. Bah! This is old country. These things will never catch on here." Once someone gives it to them as a gift, they start using it, at least for a few days. Then it usually goes to the "Godrej" and they say "I told you. We are old people. We are not electronic savvy."

6. Pedometers. So they can count how many feet they walked. They tend to revel in the details.

Mom : Today I walked 2483 steps in 23 mins and 14 seconds.
Dad : Hi, how come I walked with you and did 12 steps less in the same time?
Mom : See I was on the outside closer to the street. You were closer to the pavement.. so I had to take more steps than you!
Dad : Tomorrow, I am going on the outside!

(trust me, these conversations can be very cute!)

7. Ziploc freezer bags by the box, be it sandwich, quart or gallon size. A big hit, especially if you land before Navarathri season. Ideal for packing sundal's for the visitors!

8. Polident! For those of you who do not know, the elders who have fake tooth, have a tough time cleaning their dentures in India. This effervescent tablet releases peroxide bubbles and cleans the fake teeth and prevents infection! (If you are buying these tablets, please also buy them a glass. These don't work on stainless steel tumblers. Not for the tumblers anyways! and you might be held responsible)

9. Ferro Rocher chocolates. The ones with diabetes will curse you openly, but will eat one and give you their best blessing anyways! Somehow the individually gold foil wrapped chocolates in fancy packaging does the trick. It is available in India in food world stores (I think), but the packaging is much nicer in the ones available in US stores. Mrs. May's almond crunch is another big winner.

10. Bengay!!! Now, this is the number one item that is a sure winner. I pretty much take half a suitcase of Bengay ointment when I go to India. Apparently the elders feel that the Bengay from the local costco here is far better than the Bengay available in India. Even the company that makes Bengay thinks this claim cannot be true, but they are not complaining because I shell out a few hundred bucks for the same stuff where they would make a few bucks in India for the same medicine. Now the irony of it is I bring in half a suitcase of Volini ointment from India for the senior citizens here! They claim Volini is much better than Bengay! (Look at the ingredients on both and you will laugh your behind off!). The grass (or painkiller) is always greener on the other side! All said and done, Bengay is the winner.

Happy holidays folks!

ps. Read through the comments for Laks suggestions on what not to give.

pps. Do add your suggesions in the comment section! Collective learning is a big plus on this topic!

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The road to happiness

The road to happiness is paved with smiles. Cute little smiles that we get from the little ones.

Considering that San and me have birthday's just around thanksgiving break, we have spent many a celebration at a themepark, and the special ones are in what is supposed to be the happiest place on earth, aka Disneyland.

The irony of it is that as the number of kids went from 0 to 1 to 2, and the kids got older, the happiness somehow seems to be muted, or to be fair, lets say "has mutated"!

This post is a travel through time, to the very same place, over the last 8 years...

1999 : Newly marrieds, jointly celebrating birthdays for the first time, holding hands, walking through the special parade, staying in the park till till closing time, the fireworks, finding out that all it takes to make the Mrs. happy is to get her to toontown, that too after being married for 5 months! The adults could mark the Disneyland map with the best makeout places.

2003 : New parents, taking grandma to show some place outside San Jose before she went back to India.. it was our way of telling the first time grandma that we wanted her to have some fun before she went back with memories of sleepless nights, emergency C-sections and avent bottles! Daddy spent most of the day in the Baby Care room with a sleeping Jr., with two backup bottles of breast milk ready to be warmed up, while mom and grandma went to the various rides and attractions. Finally when all of us stood in the line to take a picture with Mickey, Jr. decided to grab the permed hair of the lady standing in the next section of the serpentine queue and created a little side attaction. By the time we managed to extract that lady's hair from Jr.'s grip, Mickey himself was ready to honor us with some extra photo time! We did not stay for fireworks as it was too cold. Daddy could mark the Disney map with the best Child care places, locations where you could warm a bottle of milk, where to store stuff in an icepack, etc.

2004 : A near miss as we go to Universal Studios and decide against Disney because my parents want to spend a day with my cousin. I told them that the mouse wins hands down, but they didn't listen! Now they have to wait for their turn...

2006: Taking all the maternal great grand parents to see Mickey and Friends, along with grandparents, parents and the kids. An interesting trip where we had enough hands to distract the kids during feeding time, but started having wheelchair issues toward the end of the day. A trip where the parents felt relaxed because the kids were fed and nothing else seemed to matter. By now, daddy had also gotten used to the "we won't be seeing much if we spend all our time feeding the kids!' routine. In short, daddy lowered his expectation on the percentage theme park covered in one day metric. The single brother in law was given some tips from my previous trips, which might come in handy when he gets married! We actually stayed for fireworks and this time, Daddy and mommy know the wheelchair map of Disneyland.

2007: A trip with the cousins, aimed at making the little girls happy. Everything goes well till we go on a ride called "Mr. Toad" and then Jr. gets shocked. She stops eating, has a long drawn face and starts asking philosophical questions like "Why do I have to eat? Why do I have to do ANYTHING?" and freaks us out. We pull out of the park before the evening parade for the first time, with a protesing little one in tow. Jr. has suddenly lost interest in this world and refuses to go on any ride, eat anything, do anything at all, while the little one wants to go on every ride but is either too young or too short to go on anything! We hurried back home, but did manage to break her hunger strike in Legoland the following day. We are still at a loss to understand what happened to her in the park! Did she see something? Did she hear something? Why would a kid suddenly shut down like that? Was it related to the fifth year immunization shot she got earlier in the week? A million questions, none of which matter now, considering she is back to her usual self! We did have some fun when she started smiling again during the afternoon parade but the smiles were few and countable! Daddy and mommy can now show you the fastest way to exit the park!

Guess that shows how a Disney trip evolves with time. Next time (I am sure there will be one more trip, when the little one goes through HER princess phase), we are going to use all the learning from the previous trips and hope to have a great time!

One thing is true, irrespective of the theme park we are visiting. As long as the feedings are on schedule, the kids are okay, the moms are not stressed out and the dads don't have to take the brunt of the abuse for the kids not eating, the trip is a success and everyone comes out happy! If the kids stop cooperating in the eating department, even Disneyland becomes hell on earth!

On the bright side, the whirlwind LEGOLAND trip was good. The girl ate lunch, played, even started dancing again! At dinnertime, she started acting dull again and we just checked out a day ahead and started driving back in the night! Drove through I-5 last night knowing that we could always handle this better when we were home!

Will post pictures and videos of the trip tomorrow.

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