Guilt free reviewing

There is guilt free viewing and then there is guilt free reviewing!

While I felt that Kamal had gone overboard in Dasavatharam and was so upset that he could have made a much better movie with a lot less effort with the same material he had and promptly wrote a post at 2 in the morning just to vent, today has been a different day.

A post mortem, of sorts, on the movie, the initial reaction and some guilt on being too hard on Kamal.

My mother, holds me to a different standard than by brother or sister! She rarely agrees, but everyone knows. Call it the first child syndrome. I cannot get away with a lot of things that my brother or sister can get away with, even if I already set a precedent!

That said, there is three reasons for the guilt.

1. Did not mention what was good in as much detail as what was not. There are some great Kamal moments in the movie.
2. A higher expectation from Kamal because he is expected to pull this off without flaws.
3. The initial negative reaction has now given way to some reconciliation inside the head that "it was worth watching once!" . One can always point to the million things that could have been done differently to make it Oscar worthy (no pun intended), but what is done is done and that is what got presented to the audience!

The funny part is there are so many reviews out there that actually shower accolades on Kamal playing Fletcher or Bush! The two things that really irked me to no end because the makeup for these roles prevented him from showing any "acting"!

Then my MIL is talking to someone on the phone saying "the chinese Kamal".... and I was thinking "Hmm.. if you dont know the difference between Chinese and Japanese, and if you don't know that NaCl is salt, chances are you might appreciate the movie a lot more!"

In the movie Kamal says "I dont say god doesn't exist! Only say it would be great if he did!" and the irony is, I didn't say this movie is bad. Only said, it could have been a lot better!

Still, never thanked Kamal once in the previous post for :

a. Trying so hard
b. Getting us to sit there for 3 hours and make it feel like 2 hours and 40 minutes
c. Getting a lot of things right, the way only he can!

So, there.. Thank you!

Now Dr. Kamal Haasan, please go and make a Crazy Mohan dialogue based comedy before you make another mega movie! We know you are versatile enough to pull it off! Flawlessly!

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Movie Sequences

It is common these days to see Indian movies blatantly copy foreign movies with a small twist in the end. For some reason, the entire scene by scene lifting of another movie has reduced drastically in the last year.

The new trend is to just recreate segments of hit western or south east asian movies. Segments as in, a series of stunt sequences, family situations, drama situations etc. Needless to say, if they never gave any credit to the original after copying an entire movie, they are not going to give any credit for copying segments.

The funny thing is the arguments between me and the Mrs. on these sequences. Somehow she manages to forget the original sequence and is amazed by the creativity of the Director or actor or cinematographer! That gets to me more than the director. It is easier for me to show relation to the original when the source of the sequences is another Indian movie.

For example, the movie we watched recently can be expressed with the equation:

Thotaa = Thotti Jaya + Fanaa - Chimpu

where Chimpu is the fudge factor, or in movie terms the sludge factor!

Here is another sequence:

Hero is cornered on a high rise building
He is standing on the parapet wall on the top floor looking down
The old and wise cop is puffing and panting but nevertheless has a gun pointed at the hero
Cop delivers a dialogue about how the entire building is surrounded and it is "surrender" or "death by falling"!
Hero lets cop count
Just as cop counts one hero spots a train in a distance. (the tracks are not even close to the building, but what the hell!)
When the cop counts three, there is a .5 second pause and the hero falls, arms out
Then we see the rope he is holding
He swings a distance of around half a mile and precisely lands on the top of the train.
The hero looks back and smiles
The old cop who looks like he needs eye glasses rated +5.5 in the right eye and +6.5 in the left, gives a wry smile and identifies the hero's face from the train top a mile away..

Familiar??? Lets see what you think the original is!

Here is another one.

Boy comes to girls parents house to be introduced.
Boy has just lost his job before joining girl on the trip
He needs money
The prospective father in law figures out that he has money troubles
So they have a race (running, go-cart, whatever) and if the boy wins the girls dad will loan him the money, if not the boy should leave the girl alone and walk away!
In the same movie girl stops talking to boy because he hid his "losing the job" part from her. Eventually boy helps girls dad join girls mom (they are fighting as well) and the parents help girl join boy! The director of the Tamizh copy is even supposed to have attributed the sequence to a wrong original! If you are a movie trivia buff name the original, copy and the wrong original mentioned in the media..

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Like mother like Daughter-in-law??

We have all heard of
"like mother like daughter"

for the first time, we hear "like mother, like daughter-in-law"

San got this movie "Thotta" from the local Indian grocery store.

The first opening in the title credits is a picture of Indian Congress Party Suprema (female version of Supermo.. I am using my Spanish skills here!) and the caption

Baratha Annai
Thirumathi Indira Gandhi avargalin
maru avataram

Thirumathi Sonia Gandhi avargalukku
iththiraippadaththai
Apranikkirom.

Translation :

India's mother
Mrs. Indira Gandhi's
alternate avatar

Mrs. Sonia Gandhi
this movie is our offering.

We live in interesting times!

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Dus Kahaniyaan

Saw this Hindi movie recently.

It was different.

Ten short stories, told one after the other.

All of them engrossing. I still have some of the characters in my head.

It was amazing to watch the stories start, unfold and end every 10-15 minutes or so.

The titles for the movie were also amazing. One of the most memorable title sequences I have seen in recent times (Guru comes to mind!)

Loved it!

10 short stories are way better than one long masala!

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The Item Number

Was watching the movie "Polladhavan" yesterday. I had already made one attempt to watch this movie, got fed up of the comedy track and thought I would not watch it.

Then the wife and mother in law told me that after that 20 minutes of bad movie making, the thing actually picked up speed and the rest of the movie was "good"!

So, I gave it another chance. They were right. Once you got past the bad comedy routine, the movie did pick up speed.

Just as the movie was reaching the climax and all loose ends were being tied... out of nowhere, a Song!!! A skimpily clad woman with no relevance to the movie dancing around with some skimpierly© clad and skimpiestly© clad extras dancing in the background! Pissed me off to no end. This in Indian movie parlance, is called an "item number"!

Why would the director do something like this?

a. This is now the norm in all big budget Tamizh movies. It is like one of those chimp stories. If you don't know what I am talking about, no worries. I will elaborate as usual! In an experiment (read somewhere by Dr. Narayanöhe), they put 4 chimps in a caged enclosure. They had a bunch of banana's in a corner with an electrified fence around the bananas. All four learnt the hard way that the banana's were off limits. Then one of the chimps was replaced with a new young chimp. The other three would stop the young chimp from trying for the banana, for fear that the chimp might get electrocuted. Slowly they replaced all the chimps with new chimps. In spite of the electricity being turned off a long time ago, the chimps would stop each other from going for the bananas in that corner! So in essence, even if the director of today's Tamizh movie is new and has a fresh perspective, and the audience is mature, they cannot shake off the item number!

b. The director knows that his movie is already too long. Scientific experiments by BOGUS Institute have already shown that the average adult can hold his/her bladder only for 2 hours and 40 minutes and a child for 1 hour and 30 minutes. That said, all the kids get to go to the restroom during the interval break and the adults who never got to go potty during the interval are holding on as the movie drags towards its 3 hour completion time (Yes people! In India, the movies have a 20 minute intermission after two thirds of the movie is done). The directors introduced the item number, so that the men folk would not be able to hold their bladders while still watching the skimpsters shake their stuff on the big screen and would be forced to go to the restroom. When they come back they are able to appreciate the movie ending. If not for the forced restroom break, they would have cursed the director for a long movie! The women of course are never consulted in such matters!

c. The item number is in reality a necessity to sell the film. Audiences would rather see the movie with this soft porn song and dance sequence included than without. Now,that does not say much about the audience. Would they turn out in droves if instead of the item number, they show the hero watching porn and they zoom into his TV screen and show a 3 minute sex sequence instead of the item number? That experiement is yet to be done!

Before writing this post, I did a google search for "item number". I did not want to rant about something that obviously needs some ranting and would have already been covered extensively?! Was really surprised by what I found !

Looks like the answer may be "All of the above"!

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