What does one say?!

Adengappa is on the receiving end right now. I completely understand what he is going through!

He is receiving condolences, sympathies for being Indian, amazement that every Indian in the USA made it out of the Indian slums, etc.

This is not a new problem and it goes both ways. Eastern perception of the west or the Western perception of the east (trust me, my Chinese grad school buddies have told me similar stories and this is not just and India USA thing) have the same issues.

In case you are not following this yet, let me give you some case studies.

Mottai or Mundan : We went to India to celebrate my daughters first birthday. As is the south Indian custom, we had our daughters hair shaved off just before her first birthday. We do not give haircuts till sometime before the kid is 9 months old and the first hair cut is a total shave and the hair is offered to gods (usually done in a temple). Grandpa says this actually helps hair take better roots and there is some hair health secret behind this. Nevertheless...

We come back to the USA after the celebration. The kid is a little tired after all the travelling. A woman at the local grocery store is all sympathetic to her. I didn't get it initially and finally figured out that she thought my daughter had cancer and was going through some kind of Radiation treatment! Why else would a kid get its hair shaved off ?!

Women who don't believe in pre-marital sex : This might get me in hot water and you might say this is generalizing, but based on the limited sample size that I have encountered, there are a lot many desi students who show up in the USA who belive that the average American woman accepts pre-marital sex as the norm and are genuinely surprised to find that to be not true!

There are Indians who don't know English : Yeah, seriously.. there were a lot of Americans I have interacted with who thought that all Indians were fluent in English, were we well "versed" in Madonna and Michael Jackson Lyrics as they were with Vedas and Upanishads. After all, why wouldn't they?! All the Indians they encountered in school spoke fluent english. One professor even thought all Indians wore a "poonal" or sacred thread. That really was something. That meant all his previous grad students were Brahmins and no one told him that it was a very small subset of the population.

All Americans are well educated : Even beggars in America beg in English and by extension, they should all be well educated! If you think this is a joke, go take a survey in the potti kadais and barber shops of Chennai and you will see that this image holds true. Truth is far from it. In India speaking English is a sign of education. Here everyone speaks english (or American) and there are people here who cannot read and write fluently but they only speak the language. The public education system here today is no different from the state of "corporation" schools in TamilNadu in the early eighties and people are just about to start chanllenging and changing this system.

Every Indian has visited the Taj Mahal : Just like the Eiffel tower shows up in the window in every hollywood movie that is supposedly shot in Paris, every desi is supposedly been to the Taj. This is almost something taken for granted by Americans. I am yet to visit the Taj Mahal and it is something to be "rectified". I also happen to have travelled the USA a lot more than the average American! Know a lot of Californians who have never visited New York or Washington DC! Seriously, I kid you not! Both India and the USA are large countries and not everyone in these countries has visited every national monument, tourist attaction, and yet.....

All Indians write software,

All Americans own guns and are trigger happy,

All desis are cheap and go to India everytime they need a root canal

etc. etc.

and the list goes on...

All Americans are war mongers : This one joined the list in 2003 after the Iraq invasion.

All of India is a slum : this has just recently joined the list, after Slumdog

There will be many more additions to the list over the coming years!

What does one do though, when faced with these situtations?!

Here is a tip. Do not laugh it off or try to be very witty. It usually does not go well in any situation in any country. Stereotyping is not something that was invented in this century. It has been happening for millenia!

Fifteen odd years ago, I made a remark that went something like "let me do the Indian rope trick or get on my elephant and go find out for you.." and it really rubbed the other person the wrong way! When I found out that the other person really believed that sterotype and the history books in China actually teach them stuff about India in a certain way, I was horrified.

Today's history and geography books in the east and west are probably teaching the kids a view of the other side that is not entirely true. Recently heard on the radio that there is less than 18 pages of total material in history and geography texts in the US about China. That is right, 18 pages for 3000+ years of history! Equally sure that the 200+ years of American modern history is seen as something that doesn't count as history in the true sense of the world. Yet an American very close to me taught me that it is not the number of years of civilization that matters, but what has been accomplished in those years. We would have arguments and he would come up things like "it took you guys almost 400 years to get Independence from the Brits and we did it in 200" and that would send me scurrying to the history books.

The best way to deal with it is to explain in a short sentence that their belief is not supported by real data and leave it at that. Remember, if you are visiting another country, you DO represent your country. Even if you have changed Citizenship, this still happens and you constantly end up reminding yourself and others of your nationality, and it doesn't get through!

As the world shrinks and communication is supposed to shrink it further as the years go by, we grow farther apart with myths and the blurred lines between real and real life which give us more organized sterotyping!

We can only hope for a better world, where more people are eager to learn about other cultures and do get to learn the truth, by traveling as opposed to a jaundiced and censored lesson provided by the press, governments and movie houses!

Happy monday folks!

.