Passing the right torches

It was thirty years ago when my parents decided that their two boys should go through the "Upanayanam" ceremony. For those western folks reading this in the US, it is like a "bar-mitzvah" for Hindu brahmin boys. A ceremony which involves getting a thread around their shoulders, that symbolizes their commitment to higher learning. 

Said "higher learning" involved the following :

1. Sitting in front of a fire for hours and offering things into it and getting used to the heat

2. Learning the "Gayathri Mantra" which was to be used as a repetitive prayer

3. Learning to do "Sandhya vandanam" , a prayer done three times a day where we take water and throw it back in water and say different prayers as part of the 15-30 minute routine. 

4. Learn to get blessings from elders the formal way by mentioning our "lineage" and understanding what that means

5. Understanding the relationship between doing certain rituals and its correlation to getting really yummy food in a Pavlovian way

6. Understanding that you are not a kid anymore and people look up to you all of a sudden to be more responsible because you understand 1 through 5! 

7. Joining your grandfather or father in an evening prayer and making them proud without understanding what all the big fuss was about

8. Figuring out that the memory you have inherited comes in very handy when it comes to impressing your elders

9. This is something I forgot on the original list. The "Pranayaama" that was taught as part of Sandhyavandhanam. We were taught how to take in a breath with one nostril, hold it and release it through the other. On any given day we did this around 50 times. 

There may have been many more but the one thing that I deliberately did not list was doing the "Sooryanamaskaaram" which is the Sun Salutation. After the main ceremony finished and just before we went of to lunch, after sitting in front of a fire for 3 hours, the priest took the two newly "poonal"ed kids to see the sun. He asked us to cross our fingers in a grid and look through the sun and said "as part of your daily Sandhyavandhanam, you kids look at the sun for a few second every day like this! This is the soorya namaskaaram". 

Years and years later, I learned that the Sun Salutation in reality involved a series of forward and back bends which are combination of the Half Moon pose and Triangle pose in Hatha Yoga. It is not fair for me to criticize my parents, grandparents or the priest, who had not seen his own bellybutton directly, crossed fingers or not , over god knows how many moons. There was no way that dude was teaching me the real Sun Salutation. 

Somewhere down the line, a ritual in a village setting that would have taught young kids to stand waist deep in water and do forward and back bends, lunges etc. with the spirit of teaching them "as water goes to water" so do you back to this earth, "here, sit and meditate and find some inner peace and while you are at it", and strengthen your body while doing all this changed to fit a context and lost a lot in the translation . I am guessing the running water must have done wonders for one's circulation and bowel movement. 

My parents spent a lot of their savings on this very important ceremony. It was done like a wedding and the feast that followed made my brother and me feel like rock stars.

I still change my thread every year and commit to learning. Maybe just like the ceremony evolved from teaching lifes lessons to fit a modern day context and lost something in the evolutionary process, my commitment also changed.

I commit to watching at least one TED talk a week, reading one book or magazine a week and meditating for at least 10 minutes a day. In a way keeping up with my field of study and sticking to "Materials Science" after most of my classmates have found success in finance or software is my self delusional way of dedication to the "sacred thread".

The Pranayaama must have helped me for sure as I kept up with it for a good 10 years after the Poonal. Somehow I stopped doing it a year after coming to the US. Still don't know why. 

Here is one of the few photos I happen to have from that ceremony where my friend and his dad are congratulating me and my dad shortly after the thing was over. 

These days I am not religious. I think of myself as more of a spiritual person who believes in the goodness in all people. I am also trying to look inward in trying to find goodness in myself first before expecting goodness from ohters. Guess it is yet another change that the years and experiences bring to a person. Or maybe it is all the yoga on a daily basis that tries to work overtime outside the yoga room and search for context in everything. 

This ceremony happens to be only for boys and we see the other kids in my family go through this ritual over time. I still remember one of my cousins pleading with my uncle and aunt to skip the ceremony, have a quiet thing in the house without all the expense and give the saved money to go towards a motorbike he really wanted. He was way ahead of his time. I was not old enough to support him in his noble and thoughtful quest. 

These days the best I can do is to make sure the kids who are getting the "poonal" learn to do the Sun Salutation the right way, be it through the priest or some other person in the audience who knows how to do it. 

Always used to wonder what kind of rite of passage do I give to my two little darlings.  If I can teach them how to improve their physical and mental well being, what could we possibly teach them? This question had a big gaping hole for an answer till Bikram Yoga became a part of my life three years ago. Now there is no doubt in my mind on what I would like to hand over as a "torch" of sorts.

If we can get the kids to do yoga regularly and meditate regularly, they would be far better off than we are. To that end, Jr. is now coming with me to Bikram Yoga once a week. Granted it is not daily, but the fact that she kept this once a week commitment with some reluctance is still a big deal. 

Today the room was a 110 F and she pretty much sat down most of the class, but she stayed in the room. So many people came out and said "You make your dad very proud for hanging in there and trying". Guess she was beaming with a smile, the same way when her young daddy was being congratulated for throwing things in front of a hot fire for 3 hours straight, after managing to repeat a bunch of things in Sanskrit with a perfect pronunciation and a complete lack of understanding. 

Bikram yoga to Jr. may be the same thing as the Sandhya vandhanam was to daddy, but somehow deep down I feel that she is going to be a lot better off then me, in thirty years if she sticks to this routine. She does get to do 20 minutes of Pranayaama as part of the routine in class and this method will help her improve her lung capacity. 

It will be the little one's turn in three years!

One man's wisdom is another man's gibberish!

There has been a noticeable silence on the blog. Work was hectic. So was Yoga.

Did the "60 day challenge" again at BYSJ. 60 classes in 60 days. It was a lot easier than last year and I did all the classes without missing a single pose. Also learned a lot during this challenge as the teachers picked on me in class knowing that I appreciated their feedback!

On one of those classes the studio owner/ teacher who knew of my dancing days mentioned something in the middle of the triangle pose. This pose is called a "master pose" because it an all body workout on its own. Used to do the pose like the one below.. (that was my best attempt at understanding the dialogue for the pose)

In the middle of it she looked at me and said "stretch the crown of your head towards the wall, like you strech your head while ballroom dancing" . I knew she was talking to me and stretched my head! Then she went "keep going, keep going, tilt your head some more so it is perpendicular to your shoulders again" and in a magical moment, my body nicely aligned itself in one straight line from shoulder to toe.

It also sent my heart racing at a ridiculous speed and it felt like my lungs just could not cope with the sudden demand from the heart. Have never felt a rush like that before.  Tried to capture the change with some help with the Little one who took both the pictures.

This is still not perfect. The idea is to get the profile of your face visible in the front mirror, which means I should tilt even more and also lock my knee a lot more. This is a decent change though to the original way I used to do this pose.

For the last three weeks, have been doing it the right way or close to the right way.

When that miracle class was over and we were all walking out, this lady comes to the teacher and goes "What was that gibberish about the dancing?" and the teacher looks at me and goes "See Sundar, you got it. It changed your pose 300%.. but only because you knew what I was talking about. To anyone else the concept of stretching the crown of your head perpendicular to your shoulders to look taller would not make any sense! This is why the dialogue is generic enough for everyone.”

My original thought was "I have been doing this wrong for 3 years!" ... Actually it used to be worse as my hip would rise up and I would do a Pentagon instead of a triangle for almost a year. Then Jim Kallet fixed it and made it more like a trianlge in an all day special class. By the time I drove home the thought was different.. "I can do it right for the next 30 years!". Yoga is definitely helping me see the positive side of things!

There was a lot more learning during this 60 day challenge. There were a lot of new people who came to class at the beginning of the year. New year resolution to try exercise? So the classes were a mix of 60 day challengers and new comers. Some of the new comers have great difficulty in adjusting to the heat and to the learning process. In one class a guy in the last row decided go lie down 10 minutes into the class. The teacher requested he sit kneeling down instead of lying down at that stage of the class and to keep his head above his heart. He burst out shouting "No one tells me what the F to do. No one!" The whole class was frozen for a few seconds. Then the guy suddenly took his mat and bolted out the door.

There were many thoughts going through my mind from teaching, learning, why come to a class if you cannot listen to a teacher, Sandy Hook, the fact that no one had a phone inside the yoga room in case this escalated to something else.. etc. etc. All these thoughts in the middle of the yoga class, where we were supposed to "still the mind". The teacher expertly ignored this and went on with the class and everyone picked up where we left off and finished the class. It turned out to be a great and unforgettable class.  Have no idea what everyone was going through in their mind, but I learned something. My mind races to find the nearest escape route when it thinks there is trouble and I have to work on that. Maybe the sages of yore were standing on ice and fire to do their penance for a reason?!

There are also other lessons learned with respect to encouraging others before and after class and receiving encouragment back from people whose names we do not know! It is truly a touching experience. Sometimes folks inspire you in the class. Was this close to sitting down one day for a pose when the guy next to me gave me a "You better not sit down" look and I pushed myself to keep going. On another instance, I was losing my balance over and over again in the bow pose and was frustrated. Looked at the mirror and saw a lady who had only one leg hold on to the ballet bar and do the pose. After that there was no frustration. I still fell out, but was okay with it.

In another class a couple decided to move their mats perpendicular to everyone else while doing the triangle pose. The teacher politley requested that they do it the same way as the rest of the class. The couple decided to ignore the teacher and rearrange their mats anyways, inconveniencing all the folks around them (it kind of breaks the symmetry in the room and creates a logistics issue for the everyone around them). My first thought at the end of that class was "Yoga is not for everyone".. but then again, it is not a Yoga issue. Maybe learning is not for everyone. If you are closed to what the teacher is saying, you are not going to learn anything. If you want to do things your way, why bother to come to a group class?! So far, I have listened to the instructions from the teachers and have only improved! It is easier said than done in a culture where folks treat teachers as service providers! For my part when someone tells me before or after class that the teachers are too rigid and inflexible, I tell them it is for their own good. Only if you "attempt" to do things the right way, you can improve!

Was also lucky to be able to do this challenge given my travel got postponed multiple times. Originally I had no hopes of finishing it given the travel schedule. San and the kids pushed me this year to go and keep going. They were rooting and cheering for me every day. Reminded me of days when I would push my Muslim friends to keep their Ramadan fast and not give up! Next year's challenge will have new internal goals!

In the meantime, Jr. has agreed to give Bikram Yoga a try. I am thrilled!

ps. The towel in the photos is not in the right direction.. Had to keep the towel that way at home so I didn't drip sweat on the hardwood floor! It was just after a class and was still sweating! Apparently one should be able to do this pose on a block of ice without slipping, if you use your inner thighs properly!

A time that was

Almost two decades ago, yours truly could dance in a competiton from 8AM to 6PM and still go for the formal "social events" that went till midnight. 

It was the best of times and that was it. Then life took a different turn and the dance floor was something that was frequented only in dreams or while day dreaming and choreographing moves for some nice song on the radio. 

Recently, after a long time.. switched on the radio and listened to a few songs. One of them happened to be Justin Timberlake's Mirrors. Loved the song and it brought back so many memories of NSYNC and a group of us dancing to some of those songs that were remixed to select dance beats. 

A thought triggered another and an attempt was made to check out the ballroom clothes that have been packed up since 1999! They did not fit. It was a clear image of a square peg in a round hole when I looked in the mirror. 

So I started focussing on select poses in the hot yoga room that were good to get rid of the handles at the waist. Bikram Choudury's book had details on what pose does what and it was a handy guide. After three months I tried the clothes again two weeks ago and voila!

It is still tight around the lower ribs now, but not bad eh?

Feels good to be able to fit into pants that were stitched in 1996! 

San of course is just shaking her head and so are the kids. Now the next step is to put on some weight in the face without putting the weight back on in the hips. Must be a pose for that! 

ps. Mommy, not to worry! There are no plans to get back on the dance floor. Dancer's pose in the yoga room will be it.

What is in a resolution?

Last years resolution was to go do Bikram Yoga once a day! Within a few days the resolution had been given an amendment that said "exclusing travel days" and that meant the goal went down from 365 already.

The plan was to also document how this resoluton was taking shape over time in hopes of seeing trends. It is very hard to kill my inner nerd! 

There was also something else at stake. Made a deal with Sangeetha that if we paid for a "one year unlimited" pass, will get at least 8$ or less a class to justify the pass. That was the lowest cost on any deal with BYSJ in the previous years when you bought class cards based on number of classes (like a 30 class card or 100 class card). If If I did better than $8/class, it would warrant buying the same thing for 2014!

So between 12/26/12 and 12/26/13 here is what happened..

56% attendance, far from the 100 dream. There were 80 travel days. That still makes it 68% attendane.

The green line shows number of classes without a break. It was great going with the 60 day challenge at the beginning of the year and then it was always a break here or there. 

Looks like that funny graph on exercise patterns that criculated in Facebook, doesn't it? Well most of September and early October was a rout because of the misdiagnosed tooth infection and Jaw locking which ended up pretty badly. Made it a point to get back in the hot room in November all weak after taking powerful antibiotics.  

Also started tracking how many complete poses I sat out in each class because of feeling dizzy, nauseous or for losing my breath or not being able to control my heartrate. There are 26 poses in class. So technically, 26 is like missing an entire class. I had missed the equivalent of almost 6 classes out of the 194 just by sitting out. There are trends within this by teacher, by time of class, by number of people in the room, etc. But that is not going up in the blog.

To say I like all my teachers classes the same, would not be fair. Definitely have my favorites, but this list is not represenative of that. It just reflects times of day I happened to take classes at on certain days of the week.

Somehow the teachers who have themselves gone through some adversity and have used Bikram Yoga to change their lifes appeal to me more than the ones that have been lucky enough to discover Yoga in their teens!

Also recorded my weight after coming home from yoga class. There is definitely a trend there between summer and winter and it will be interesting to see how this goes on continued tracking. Weighed myself only on days of Yoga class and that is why it is not a smooth line. The weight is stable no matter how much I eat and that says a lot about Yoga and "weight control"!

Last but not least, the Sangeetha challenge..

This graph is 950$ / number of classes as the number of classes increased. In other words, if I had been hit by a truck after class 1, it would have been one expensive class!  I got it down to $4.90/class which was way better than the goal of $8/class. 

All is well that ends well or has a new beginning. In this case it is a new beginning. Got the next one year annual unlimited pass started as of today! 

Now if you are wondering if Bikram Yoga made a difference for me in 2013, the answer is an emphatic yes. I had less than 5 sick days in the last year (minus the tooth episode, which could have been fixed with a visit to a good dentist in a day) and inspite of all that travel, managed to keep my sanity and was able to get back on my feet fast. 

There is one complaint from San all the time and that is "If you do Yoga why are you getting angry?". As far as I have checked, there is nothing that says people who do yoga cannot get angry. I can go from zero to angry in 4 seconds, but I can also come back from angry to zero in the same 4 seconds. That is the only difference after doing Yoga and that is a big deal! I am able to go on long hikes with ease and in general my ability to handle difficult situations has not become any worse. So all that credit goes to Yoga.

Wish me luck in bettering last year's attempt!

Difference in Yoga, a shorts does make!

Two weeks ago, just before walking into Bikram Yoga class, was offered a free Yoga shorts, in return for a review of the shorts! 

First off, when you walk into Bikram Yoga class the one obvious disparity anyone can see is in the clothes (or what is left of it) that the women and men wear. The women have perfect fitting, nicely stretching, colorful clothes thanks to an entire industry that caters to the Yoga clothes for the ladies. In spite of this, the women are not necessarily happy.. No matter what their size I do see that the women have much better apparel! 

The men on the other hand come in their underwear for crying out loud, which you cannot even do in the silence of the Yoga room! The options are horrible.

When I first knew that Yoga was going to be a big part of my life (read third yoga class.. I kind of make up my mind fast on these things and they somehow work, like I married Sangeetha 7 days after seeing her and... okay off topic already.. Take 2)

When I first knew that Yoga was going to be a big part of my life, went to the local stores to find suitable shorts. To my dismay there were no "active Yogawear" for men at any of the stores. Only for the ladies! So when an old colleague jokingly asked me "so what do you wear to the yoga class? pink panties?!", I didn't even have a sarcastic answer ready! Then after much searching, found that Dolfin brand swimming shorts did the trick. Over time have bought 5 of the same shorts with reducing waist sizes with blue, green or red bands on the side (the shiny band has earned the name Jigna Jetty from the Little one). To Dolfin's credit, they make swimwear. When you are swimming, there is no squeezing between your legs at any time! So this review does not to say Dolfin is bad. Those shorts are very durable and have gone to hundreds of wash cycles and are still intact!

After all that, I now had a "sample" in my hands!

Was so glad for two reasons. 

1. Someone made an effort to create a yoga shorts for men

2. Someone thought my opinon was worth it! They dared ask for feedback.

Promptly wore it for that class and the first thing that hit me was the fabric. So soft! The next thing that hit me was the way it looked in the mirror! Remember the blouse that old Tamil movie heroines used to wear? There would be a pocket for their nipples?! Think same thing except for the privates. They had created a webbed pocket so the dudes cohones are free and not squeezed.  I got some funny looks from the folks on either side of me, but I told them "I am trying out a free sample for a review".. In short, I had transformed into an underwear model! 

The class was amazing for many reasons. For the first time I was able to move "freely" on the big backbends and the deep forward bends. After 2 1/2 years, locked me knee for the first time doing Padahasthasana.

You are supposed to have "no gap" between your chest and your thighs on this one. The photos here were taken after a yoga class by the budding Yogagrapher aka Little One. Was not warmed up and went into the pose to the best of my ability with two different shorts and asked her to click. I did lock my knee in that class (you can see me almost get there in the new shorts) and it was only because there was no pressure on my privates from the shorts stretching over. No wonder then that the ladies always ace this pose!

Old (above) vs. new (below)! Touching the floor with your head directly at the center of the line between your feet? Easy, when your shorts is not inducing excruciating pain in certain parts! 

I also did not keep fidgeting and pulling my shorts down after every pose. This one did not ride up and down and that made the class more enjoyable.  The shorts also did not feel heavy after being fully soaked in sweat. 

Also saw a marked difference in doing the Eagle pose which is the worst when it comes to pressurizing your groins. 

The funny part was when I came back home and the little one saw me walk in. She kept laughing at my new shorts because of the protuding front pocket! 

All said and done, these folks are on to something. If they can make this pocket "not so obvious" by connecting this to the thigh area, this is the perfect shorts for men! 

Given that

- it is not my problem that my shorts look funny

- that everyone is there in Yoga class for themselves

- other folks are not supposed to distract you (in theory),

wearing this to class every now and then! 

There, my first review of something I never would have dreamt of reviewing! 

Was told that the maker of the shorts is called Indra Wear! 

Watch out, Lulu Lemon!